


time goes by so slowly

by Fether, noirxshirosk



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2019-09-21 01:35:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 54,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17033884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fether/pseuds/Fether, https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirxshirosk/pseuds/noirxshirosk
Summary: When Shiro moved on and married someone else, Keith was left with two options: Stay, or Leave. He chose to follow the Blades of Marmora in helping refugees and aliens whose lives had been forever changed by the Galra.His life is about to be changed by a dimension-traveling Shiro.A fix-It fic.





	1. lost in time

**Author's Note:**

> We needed to write this after the heartbreak and tragedy of s8, so we figured we'd share, because we think you need it, too.

Standing here for longer than what was necessary was one of the basic rules he told himself _not_ to do. He had a fine set of rules— never mess with time travel, only go through naturally occurring rifts, and _never_ stay as long as he was fighting to stay right this second. But... _this_ timeline. This timeline was _different._

In this timeline, Keith wasn't with him. In this world, this version of himself was happily married to someone _else._ He didn’t understand that, not one bit, but this Shiro seemed to be happy with the way things were right now. But he himself? He was not. His Keith— His Keith was dead. His Keith had sacrificed everything to salvage their world, to defend the universe, and that everything? Included himself. That reality had been saved, but at what cost? They were going to get _married_.

But that didn't happen.

That was a long time ago. But even after all these years, he's never stopped loving him. There were other realities where they were already together, some where they're married like they should be, and others even beyond that where they adopt kids together and have a family. Shiro was never big with romance, never one for family either, as he always did lots on his own and felt fine with that.

But when he saw that version of him with a family to call his own, alongside the extended one they'd already made? That was something he'd always dreamt of having. And here was his chance, standing in front of him, with eyes that could kill and hair that beautifully framed his face so perfectly. He'd never seen Keith's eyes as kind as they are now, looking to that straggler, who was graciously taking the supplies that Keith was giving to them. His smile so soft, as if he loved what he was doing right now, and Shiro could tell that he did. He always did like helping other people, even though he'd never say it out loud.

Shiro pulled down the hood from over his head, letting the new scars on his face be revealed, as he steps up closer to Keith. His hair is a little different, but still white, and there's a good amount of stubble on his face, as if the last time he shaved was a mere two days ago. His eyes were alight, soft, but joyful just seeing Keith _happy._

He's so scared to approach the other— he shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't stay, he should just keep moving like every other reality. But this one... This one was calling to him.

"Keith..."

Keith _jerked_ to attention as he saw Shiro's face, his smile falling off in an instant as he stumbled backwards. "S-Shiro...?" He hadn't expected the other to _be_ here — he'd thrown himself into his work to _forget_ the other man, to forget the wedding he'd seen... and distanced himself from the one he'd sacrificed himself so many times for.

It hurt, to see him now. He didn't understand why Shiro was here, confusion splayed across his face as he sucked in a breath, body stiff and tense with wariness. Why was he here? What purpose did this even serve?

How had he _gotten_ here, anyway?

Whatever straggler Keith was dealing with seemed to understand the situation, and moved out of the way, scurrying off somewhere to the right. Shiro watched them go, feeling bad for a hot second, before his eyes turn back to Keith. God, he was so beautiful. The elder outfit of the Blades looked good on him— it looked better than he could've ever imagined it.  
  
He seemed a little surprised by the confusion, but that surprise shifted to his own version of confusion, but he didn’t take a step closer. He didn’t want to scare Keith off.

"Keith— I... I'm so happy to see you." His hand fell from where he'd pulled the hood down, and rested at his side. It definitely looked like Shiro, sounded like him, but the way he was looking at Keith... it was as as if he was reuniting with an old lover. For Keith, it could even feel like the way Shiro _used_ to be, with him. The way his gaze lingered, the way he spoke with such endearment— it was foreign at this point in time. But there were things that were different too.

There was a scar right below Shiro's left cheek— like Matt's, but bigger. He was _dressed_ differently, dressed in something that Shiro himself probably wouldn't ever actually wear, not having any need to. And his voice sounded a little worn, much more resembling the hardships he'd endured just to be standing here right now.

"I'm so sorry." He apologized, his voice ragged yet soft. And as if knowing he needs clarification, he added, "For hurting you. For whatever version of myself that exists in this reality. He should've been here for you."

Keith’s eyes widened as he listened to Shiro speak, a breath sucked in as it actually _registered_ . "You're... a different Shiro. Right?" Allura had sacrificed herself to make all of the other realities return, but he had no idea what those other realities _were_ . "... what _happened_ to you?" His lavender eyes fell on the scars that littered Shiro’s face, body tense but unyielding. His feet were steady against the ground, and it was apparent that Keith wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Shiro's adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly at the question, his head lowering to that serious look that Keith had once been familiar with, too. It held such sorrow, a mournful look etching it's way into his features, before he eventually replied. "Too much. Far too much."

His stiff shoulders slackened just enough to have some semblance of comfort. But to Keith's question, he gave a slow nod, his head dipping down a little further. He dared a step forward, as he peeked back up at Keith. "Yes. I'm from a reality where Allura didn't sacrifice herself."

He paused, and then adds on in a whisper. "You did."

Keith's breath caught in his throat, and he felt like the ground had disappeared underneath of him. A reality where _he_ had sacrificed himself, in place of Allura?

Why hadn't _he_ thought of that? Lance could have been _happy_ . He could have done that, and everyone in _this_ reality would have been better off.

"I..." Keith's lips twisted, and tears pooled in his lavender eyes, falling down his face as the emotions and implications of how _different_ things were hit him full force.

Shiro had looked away after his announcement to Keith. But when his eyes landed back on the other, he didn't expect to see _tears._ He quickly became alarmed, and as if on instinct, he moved over to Keith as if he could try to soothe him and hold him. But, he stopped just short of Keith, staring down to the other with a forlorn expression.

He wasn’t really sure if he should, or not. He didn't know how Keith really felt about him, due to the other version of himself not talking to him very much. It hurt his soul to see Keith cry.

Shiro looked like he was fighting with himself, but after a very long and agonizing moment, he brought a hand out to Keith's face. His gloved hand cupped his jaw, and his thumb wiped away the tears from his right cheek. "That doesn't mean you chose wrongly in this reality, Keith. It was just a different outcome."

Clearly, Keith could see what became of Shiro with the other course of action. The purple bags under his eyes were far too obvious as he stood this close, and Shiro looked like he was beyond exhausted, but still somehow standing.

"Knowing Allura, she made it feel like her sacrifice was the only choice there was. And no one blames you for not doing anything. I bet in this reality, no one else did anything either, right?" Shiro looked unhappy with this, his hand starting to move away, as if he was apologetic for the contact at all. "I'm disappointed in myself, here. This doesn't sound like me."

Leaning against the touch, Keith _lost_ himself in that moment. He reached up and wrapped both hands around Shiro's wrist, closing his eyes as he trembled under that touch.

It was like he hadn't been touched at all, since he'd left. "We all... stood there. It was like we were held in place by a force we couldn't _see_ . I was screaming in my mind, begging someone to _do_ something, but... no one _did_."

Shiro was surprised by the hand that came to stop his own from moving away. The act itself had been as if Keith was afraid Shiro would just be gone the second he stopped touching him. Shiro continued to stare at him as he spoke, and only when he was done did Shiro raise both his hands to Keith's face. He took the chance to wipe away the tears that are on the other side of his face now, before he lightly lifted Keith's face.

"That's very strange. I don't know what could have compelled there to be no action... But in mine, I know I was shocked at the decision, but I snapped out of it rather fast. I tried to talk to Allura, talk her out of it, and offered myself instead. I had some sort of Altean running through me, thanks to what Allura has done for me, so I figured... That might be of some help. But she refused that."

Shiro looked guilty now. "I might have been the one to give you that idea, though. Sacrificing yourself. You offered up without a second thought. Allura was against that too, and we fought for what felt like hours, until you told me that it's what you wanted to do."

Shiro's dark grey eyes glossed over, that much was clear, but he definitely tried not to cry.

"I've never kept you from doing anything, but I had to fight you on that. There was just... No swaying you." His head lowered, his jaw tightening, as he tried to recall the events but to also not feel what he felt watching Keith walk away from him for the last time. His heart had broken that day. "I-It was hard for me. But I couldn't continue with staying there without you. Your mother had been unbelievably hardened for weeks on end, and when she felt well enough to continue _all_ her ventures with the Galra, I left."

"No, it... makes sense." Keith gritted his teeth together, his chest rising and falling as panic welled up there, his whole being trying to contain it. He went over how Haggar had looked at him, had mentioned something about his vast amount of potential quintessence…

He let out a soft sob, burying himself into Shiro's chest as he hugged him _tightly_ . "It was me, I could have saved _Allura_ —"

"Keith, it's _okay."_ Shiro reassured him, cradling Keith's head to his chest as his own head bowed down to rest on the top of his hair. His Altean arm rested perfectly at the small of his back, and pulled him close, afraid to ever let go. This was breaking so many rules, but he didn't care. "Neither ending is favorable. People would have been sad no matter what happened. You are so much more important than you realize. I'm sorry that I'm the one that has to say that, and not..."

Not himself. He hates bringing it back up, but his alternate self is very much creating a bad name with him, the longer he talks to Keith.

"This hurts. It _hurts_ , Shiro. Why are you here?" Keith pulled away slightly, looking at him with alarmed eyes, his hand gripping the other's shirt tightly and refusing to let go. The more this Shiro talked, the more he realized how broken things really _were_ . What had happened in this timeline? Why did things feel so _wrong_? Keith hadn't realized until now... how many little things Shiro had done that made him feel at ease. Little things he missed, that now felt like a chasm since they'd been apart.

Shiro let him move. That was one big important thing about Shiro— he never kept Keith stiff in one place, but also never failed to make him feel like he had someone he could rely on. That was something big the Shiro _here_ was missing.

"... I travel through realities. I've seen so many of them where we end up together, but this one wasn't one of them. It confused me because... _we_ always felt right. Whether that be just friendship, or— whatever it is. I've felt for so long now that we were fated to be together, but we... we _aren't_ , here. I never let curiosity get the better of me, but you... this one was different. There's you, there's me, but it's not together." He looked hurt by that, too, and he could only imagine what Keith felt right now.

"It's wrong. I don't know what to do about it, but it feels wrong, and I didn't— I _couldn't_ just pass by. Not like everywhere else."

"You're not my Shiro." Keith finally said, his head hanging down as he bit his lip. His thoughts reared up, consuming him — the way Shiro had looked away from him during the entirety of the battle with Haggar. The way he pulled away before they could possibly touch. How he never came to seek him out to watch the sunset for the last time, sitting on the Black Lion.

Shiro just staring on while he was about to be killed by Zethrid, mouth agape and doing _nothing_.

His Shiro hadn't been himself for quite some time.

"You're not my Shiro... but I wish you _were_."

"I'm sorry." Shiro murmured softly, and whether that was an apology to Keith or to himself, was unknown. But the tears slid down his face easily, his shoulders now completely sagging as he looked down to Keith. "I don't think your Shiro ever fully recovered... From the sounds of it, he seems to have the memories, and the fighting skills. But he doesn't have anything else, the personality, that made you love him."

This white haired Shiro _had,_ clearly, or else he would not be feeling guilty for something he himself didn't directly do. "I'm so sorry."

Closing his eyes, Keith felt tears burn against them as he pulled fully away from Shiro, holding his arms as he clenched his teeth. "... thanks for... talking." He started to walk backwards, shutting himself off from everything, closing his body language completely. "I... hope you find your Keith. Wherever he is." It was too cruel for him to deal with — another Shiro that was completely in love with him, traversing realities in order to… what, bring back his own Keith?

He turned to return back to his mission, picking up a backpack and slinging it over his shoulder as his body posture stiffened. It was painful, to go through this again. This Shiro was constantly apologizing for something he couldn't fix — it wasn't his Shiro. It wasn't _his Shiro_.

What was the point, then? What was the cruel point of this one visiting?

He turned to regard the other with a cool glance, his eyes borderline yellow, the Galra side of him seeping through. "I don't know anything about traversing realities, but... don't stay for too long. You might get stuck."

Shiro looked up when Keith backed off. He's understandable that this might be a lot for Keith, and he knew there was no softer way to say any of this. He felt understandably hopeless, and he bit his lip as Keith closed himself off. This is exactly what he wanted to avoid— he didn’t like this reality. He hated it, actually, because it made Keith into something he wasn't. Keith was happy with his work, but he wasn’t happy _outside_ of it.

"What if I want to?" He blurted out, without even a second thought. He didn’t know where that came from, but... despite the shock in his eyes, he doesn't take it back. Instead, he continued. "I... what if I want to stay?"

Keith stared, the bag sliding off of his shoulder and dropping to the ground with a _thump_ . He turned his entire body towards Shiro, mouth agape with disbelief as he just looked _stunned_. "... what?"

Shiro tensed up when he saw the astounded look on Keith's face. His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. He was like a goldfish struggling to gasp for a water source. "You know. What I said. What if I want... to stay? Here, with you?"

"... why?" Keith found himself asking, his body stiff, paused in action. "This isn't your reality. Why would you want to stay?" Why would he want to be willing to be a _second_ to the Shiro of _this_ reality? He didn't understand.

"I... I just want to be with you." Shiro murmured, feeling somewhat silly for how he was feeling, but it was the truth. His heart ached looking at this Keith, and knowing that he isn't with Shiro. "I've missed you for so long now. It's been... So many years, I— I can't keep going through these realities. It's not helping."

Shiro's hands were in fists now, and he looked to be attempting to keep his cool. "I'm so happy when I see realities where we're happy, but where's _our_ happy ending? When do _we_ feel like the winners, Keith?"

"What are you saying, Shiro?" Keith swallowed, his arms dropping as his throat felt dry. He stood tall, his hair falling over his shoulders as he stood rigid, face torn between disbelief and sadness.

"I'm saying I feel empty not being around you." Shiro answered, much more clearly this time, and with some strain in his voice. "I want to do for you what the Shiro of this reality couldn't and wouldn't do. You deserve to be _happy_ Keith, _we_ deserve to be happy. I can't speak for you, not really. I don't know if you're really happy right now or not but— I... I'm not." He looked away now, expression broken, defeated. "I'd never force myself here just to be selfish— I'd never do that. But I... I don't know. I'd stay if you wanted me to, Keith. I love you so much, and this is killing me."

"... what?" Keith stumbled over his bag as he repeated that word for a second time, finding his footing as he turned completely towards Shiro now, his entire body shaking from what he'd just heard.

Had he just heard Shiro confess, after years of hoping it would happen? Disbelief was written on his face, and he nudged the bag to the side as his posture shifted, panic in his eyes. This was too good to be true, right? This wasn't... just a clone.

All the clones had been disposed of.

Right...?

"I love you, Keith. I've loved you for so many years now. You might not be the Keith that I knew for so long, but you're essentially the closest there is. If you're still Keith, I still _adore_ you."

Shiro's gaze was intensely serious now, glistening eyes trained on Keith, as he stared at him. Then, suddenly, he somehow managed a look that Keith was all well-too-acquainted with. A look reserved for him, and him alone. "I don't know how Shiro here feels about you, but know that in every other universe, I love you."

"... do you know how many years I've been waiting for you to say that?" Keith stepped forward, his lips parting as a sob wrenched from his throat, tears flowing once more. He reached out for Shiro, not quite closing the distance because his hands were shaking so bad — but they were out there, waiting for him to grab them.

"Probably too many, yeah?" He questioned, his legs moving before he even got the chance to realize what he's doing. His hands grasped onto Keith's and he tugged him close to him, so that they could properly hug. Shiro's forehead pressed into Keith's hair, as he embraced him in the tightest hug Keith ever got from Shiro.

He felt stronger than the Shiro here, somehow.

Keith clung to him tightly, shuddering in his embrace as he dug his fingers into him, eyes closing as he rested his forehead on Shiro's shoulder.

"I love you, Shiro. I love you, I _love you_ —" The words bubbled up out of him, unable to be held back anymore as he blurted them out, no longer trying to quell them.

Shiro pulled back in the middle of Keith's loving mantra, both of his hands grasping Keith's face, and tilting his head up to _kiss_ him. It was slow, at first, but it shortly progressed to something a little deeper. He may have forgotten that the people around them don't know he's an alternate Shiro, in this moment.

Groaning with need at the touch, Keith leaned into it as he raised his arms and wrapped them around Shiro's shoulders, leaning up just slightly to deepen the kiss. The thoughts about him being an alternate melted away. He felt like this was _right_ , that this was what he _needed_.

"Shiro—"

Shiro didn't even seem to care about who could be watching, at this rate. Nothing was better than hearing Keith say his name like he just did, and Shiro definitely would've kept going—

If it weren't for one of the people clearing their throat next to them, and waiting for some of the "humanitarian relief" that the Blades were here for. Shiro looked down to them, and then back to Keith, before blushing. "S-Sorry. We should probably hold off on that, right now..."

Pulling away abruptly, Keith turned with a red face and picked up his backpack, moving to shove it into Shiro's arms. "You can help." He walked away quickly and grabbed another bag, keeping his distance for the moment as he continued to pass out much needed food.

If Keith was any closer, he didn't think he'd be able to control himself.

Shiro blinked rapidly as the bag was pushed into his arms. He stood there, processing for a moment, before he looked down to the alien woman. Then, he sheepishly smiled, and took a tube of food goo out of the bag to hand to her. "Sorry, ma'am. Have a great day."

She seemed much more delighted, now that she got what she came for. "Thank you, Admiral!" Shiro just smiled and gave a small wave, before moving to the next person with a smile that was as Shiro as it possibly could be. A smile like that hadn't been seen in ages.

Avoiding Shiro completely, Keith remained on the other side of the area from him for quite some time for a few hours, until they'd gotten to hand what they had to everyone who'd shown up. Once it had quieted down, he glanced around at the barren area, noticing that the other Blades had gone off to do their own thing. Keith stretched, frowning as he thought. They were mostly done with what they had to pass out, but he wanted a place to _stay_ . His gaze wandered over to Shiro again, curious. Would they be able to catch up on what had happened in the past few years? Was _his_ timeline vastly different from his own?

Shiro was just handing out the last of what he was given, when Keith looked over. As he did with everyone, he waved them off, wishing them a good night before he closed the bag. He looked like he was thinking, and had a lot on his mind. How couldn't he, when he felt like he belonged right here, but this wasn't his world? His gaze somehow met Keith's, as if he felt his eyes on him. He made his way over, stopping just short of him.

"Hey, I made myself pretty useful. Is that everyone done for the day?"

"... yeah." Keith smiled, looking so worn out as he just stood there, tilting his head to the side. He was beyond tears at this point, shoulders slumping as he breathed in. "We just need to turn in for the night. Find a place to stay."

"Makes sense. Any hotels in this area?" Shiro held out the bag to Keith as he inquired, his head tilting to the side as his eyes scanned around the entire area. "I don't really know this planet that well. I haven't done much exploring in other realities. Or, even my own, outside of where we went with Voltron and Atlas."

"There's a few." Keith moved forward, breathing in as he grasped his bag, slinging it over his shoulders and clenching onto the straps so tight that his knuckles became white. He kept his distance from Shiro, trying to calm his whirling mind, but it seemed absolutely impossible at this point in time. This Shiro had traversed _realities_ to be with him, when his own didn't even give him the time of _day_ . He hadn't heard any calls or had any connections with the man on Earth, so he assumed he was just... _happy_ with Curtis.

And Shiro being happy... was all Keith ever wanted, even if it meant ripping apart his own soul.

"I looked at a few before we started working. There's one that has a bigger room." He paused, glancing to Shiro quickly before looking away. "Unless you wanted your own room."

"Oh— no. I don't want my own room." Shiro made that perfectly clear, by the way he rushed that out. Unlike old Shiro, though, he didn’t try to ask if Keith wanted to have a room to himself. If Keith had planned on one room, then he knew the other didn't want to be in separate rooms, either.

In a way, that made him rather hopeful. He knows he's not this Keith's Shiro, but he sure would do his best to be better than him. To be what Keith deserved. He's no Captain of the Atlas here, but he's pretty certain Keith never really thought much about the title in the first place.

"I'm kind of just... happy to be here, I guess. I know it's probably not something I'm supposed to do, but if it makes us happy, and it's not harming anyone? I don't see how it's an issue."

Keith nodded in a somber manner, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked. The conversation turned to one of silence, and it wasn't long after that that they made it to the hotels.

It was a rather nice establishment, one of the aliens scurrying out and bowing as they handed Keith his key, glancing to Shiro with astonishment. Keith didn't say anything besides giving a respectful nod, breathing in and finding his room with Shiro tailing him.

When they arrived, he opened the door and walked in, taking off his bag and throwing it onto the nearby chair. The bed was _very_ plush, blankets folded in a neat manner, and a gift basket tied up in ribbon on the nearby table.

It looked like it had been waiting for Keith for days, but this was the first time he'd stepped into it.

Shiro tilted his head in a nod as greeting, before following Keith to the room he had waiting for him. It was a _very_ gorgeous room, and the bed… looked like it would be the comfiest thing he's slept on in ages. He could tell already that this was going to be a good night.

The wandering traveler had very little in his own bag — just some clothes, maybe a few essentials such as food and water, but aside from that? He came here with nothing. That's all Shiro had from the start, after all. He wasn't a very materialistic person, and he only kept what was most important to him.

He set his bag down somewhere onto the floor without much care, before he took his jacket off and hung it over a different chair. He looked like he hadn't seen comfort in days— weeks. Years? Who knew. He just seemed to be very tired and lonely.

Shiro sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh, and ran his hand through his hair. He was due for a haircut; he could feel the strands being a little longer than they used to be. "So... What does the BOM do now? Just what I saw, today?"

"Yeah." Keith closed the door with ease, turning to cross his arms in front of Shiro. "We go around and fix problems. Started to do that with you— with. Shiro." He looked away. "With the Atlas. But... then he got married." It was a touchy subject. He didn't mention how he attended the wedding, and looked away when they'd kissed.

"Ah. That's still weird for me." Shiro admitted, looking away as he scratched his cheek. "I could never see myself getting married to anyone but you. Of course, at first, Adam. But he didn't stay with me like you did."

He let out a very deep sigh before his hands fell to his lap, and the Altean hand turns into a fist. He's already apologized, he doesn't need to do that again, but typical Shiro felt guilt for any suffering Keith's gone through, because of him.

"We can make it right, though, you and I. I don't have the Atlas, but I have myself. And... I mean. I wouldn't mind helping you. Being here with you. It was what I should have been doing back in my reality."

"It was... out of the blue, for sure." Keith moved forward and sat on the bed next to Shiro, trying to relax but finding it rather hard to. The years of _his_ Shiro ignoring him had definitely taken a toll, and he didn't reach out for the other as he sat. Keith's lips pressed together as he mulled over Shiro's words, at a loss for what to say to that.

Shiro wanted to reach out to Keith, though. While their decisions in realities weren’t different, their personalities in the end had been. Shiro was a little bolder.

Putting his arm around Keith’s shoulders, he pulled him in for a half hug, as he looked down to him. “It’s nothing to decide on now, obviously, but... you know. If you want me, like I said. I’ll be here.”

Keith let out a long sigh, curling into Shiro and craving that warmth he'd gotten before, legs shifting so he could move his arm around Shiro's lower waist. He honestly didn't know _what_ he wanted, at this point. Keith hadn't expected a Shiro from another _universe_ to come waltzing in and sweep him off of his feet. The closeness was comforting, but for Keith, it wasn't close _enough_ . He wanted something more. He had _always_ wanted something more.

He still had a few more places to stop and help others, as the Blade had more supplies to hand out before their initial run was done. Keith wanted a break, but duty called, and he didn't seem to have any time for rest for himself.

He was just so tired, and he just wanted a _break_.

"... fuck me," Keith said aloud, silent for a few moments to process what he'd just blurted before he tried to withdraw his arm. His entire face went red with embarrassment, revealing that there had been a huge disconnect between his thoughts and his mouth. There was panic in his eyes, and he tried to backpedal as his heart slammed against his chest.  
  
"I... I mean—"

Shiro found the arm around him in return to be nothing but _comforting._ He hasn't had a quiet moment like this with Keith in... God, so many years. So, so many. He missed it more than he ever realized, and he only came to terms with that just today, when seeing how similar this Keith was to his own. He was beautiful, gorgeous in every possible way, and Shiro just—

He just wanted to shower him with the love and affection he freely gave _his_ Keith. This one deserved it so much. He deserved to be cherished for the strong man that he is today. Shiro could not be prouder of what Keith had become, and he hoped that's very evident at the way his eyes are roaming over the younger man.   
  
But he stopped, when he heard Keith's _words._ Oh. My god. Did he— Oh, he didn't mean that, did he? Why would he? Get yourself together, Takashi, you didn't just do all of this for nothing. He sees the red on Keith's face, and quickly retracts his own hand, a blush rising to his cheeks as he stares.

"H-Hey, hey, it's alright. If that's not something you want, I get it, believe me— I'm not your Shiro, I'm just _a_ Shiro. Nothing like that _has_ to happen unless that's what you want. Relax a second."

"No, I just— my thoughts, I—" Keith let out a soft sound, shifting to put his head in his hands and look absolutely _miserable_.

His shoulders crumpled as he bit his lip, legs pressing together as he shifted his hips. Yes, he _did_ want it. Badly.

Shiro waited for him to be silent, before he said anything more. He lifted a hand, and lightly grasped Keith's wrist, to move one of his hands down.  
  
"Keith... Talk to me. You know I'll listen. Tell me what's on your mind."

"I..." Keith swallowed, finding it hard to talk. His voice broke. "I don't want it to just end with _kissing_ , Shiro."

Shiro's cheeks ever so lightly gained more color, as he stares at the exposed part of Keith's face. That one beautiful eye just staring at him has his heart racing fast, and his mouth talking before his mind does.

"It doesn't have to. I told you if you wanted that, you would have absolutely no complaints from me." His fingers curled around Keith's hand, and he kissed the top of it. "I love you, Keith. I want to make you as happy as you've made me."

"I... don't have anything." Keith said softly, his ears turning red as he glanced from Shiro's face to his hand, and then back to his face again. "I mean. Protection... wise. I don't... have anything."

Dropping his head, he shifted his legs again, moving to press his free hand against his crotch. Could they actually _do_ this together? He'd wanted to for _years_.

Shiro's blush slowly faded, and for the moment, he became serious whilst he thinks. He wanted this just as much as Keith did, both of them yearning for one another for years, but in different ways. Shiro worries his lower lip, before his eyes look back to Keith.

"I can go out and get us something. Do you _want_ this? With..."

With me?

"... yeah." Keith lifted his hand and found Shiro's other hand, entwining his fingers with his. "I've wanted it for a long time." He looked away, nervous. "Is... that okay?"

"Yeah!" He backpedaled, realizing how eager that must've come across. "Yeah." He cleared his throat and looked away. He was still very much the disaster gay he always has been. "I'll go get us stuff, then. I'll be right back." Shiro kissed his forehead, just purely out of habit, as he got up and goes to his bag. He fished out a satchel of money and hurried out of the hotel room so that he can kick himself for even doing that. He couldn’t just straight up go to loving Keith like this, when this Keith hasn't experienced this side of... _Anything_ yet, can he?

Keith made another soft sound as he leaned into the kiss, then stood up and opened the door, putting a washcloth in the door so Shiro could open it with ease when he returned. Once he’d done that, Keith stared at his hands as he shook. He was nervous, and his stomach was in knots, but... this could be _his_ Shiro. Maybe it would work out this way. He didn't know — this Shiro had lost _his_ Keith. Was he a replacement?

Did it really matter?

As far as Shiro was concerned... he wasn't a replacement. It's hard to say that Keith would even be deemed as a replacement, if he's still the same as his own had been. There's some minor changes, but Shiro knew he would love those, too. He wasn't in love with Keith just because other realities said he had to be.

He was in love with Keith because their personalities meshed so well, and that seemed to be regardless of universe. Shiro fell in love with Keith a long time ago, and having an alternate version of him was no different than what his own could've been.

He returned back to the room in record time, slipping into the room with a loud breath of air, a bag in one hand, and the satchel in the other. He put the satchel back into his bag, before he moved over to Keith with their essentials.

"Now, Keith," He said, looking down to the other with concern, and very obvious worry. "If I do something you don't like, just let me know, okay? I won't stop if you don't want me to, but I'll change what I do, if you seem like you're not a fan. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah." Keith glanced up as Shiro entered, glancing to the door to make sure it was shut. It looked like the washcloth had been kicked out of the way. Good. His face was still flushed, and he hadn't taken off his clothes, wanting to leave that up to Shiro. He stood from the bed and wrapped his arms around his waist, looking absolutely uncomfortable, but mostly nervous.

"... ready. When... you are." He didn’t want to mess this up, if he could help it.

Shiro could see that Keith was nervous. That much was apparent, and honestly, Shiro only just now came to the realization that— if he and Keith never hooked up before they came back to Earth, like he and his Keith had, that this was... His first time. That made Shiro even more determined to make Keith happy, and to make sure he feels _good._   
  
"Hey," Shiro murmured, moving in front of Keith to hold his face ever so gently. His thumbs brushed over the smooth skin of his cheeks, his one thumb lingering over the scar on Keith's jaw. "Everything's gonna be okay. I promise. I'll make you feel good, Keith. Do you trust me?"

"As long as it takes," Keith answered with ease, relaxing once his face was in Shiro's hands. He'd said the same words before, when he saved Shiro. Before he'd fallen into the abyss of self-deprecation, pining for a man that never wanted him.

Maybe this time, Shiro could save _him_.

Swallowing, Keith opened his lavender eyes and stared into Shiro's golden-brown pupils, trust and need in the expression he wore.

Shiro’s eyes gained a deeper understanding when hearing those words, and the corner of his mouth lifted up into a little smile. “That’s what I figured you’d say.”

He chuckled before he moved to sit on the bed, grabbing Keith’s hand as he moved. He sat on the edge, and positioned Keith between his legs as his arms wrapped around his waist. His eyes were displaying such warmth as he stared up to Keith, a soulful feeling that the other probably hasn’t seen in so long.

“I love you so much. You’re so gorgeous, Keith...” He murmured to the other, as Shiro’s hands snuck up Keith’s back, and leaned into his personal space so that he could reach the zipper at his neck. He leaned up to kiss the base of his throat before he zipped downwards, helping Keith shimmy out of the elder BOM outfit.

Keith hadn't seen that look in _years_. He unraveled at that gaze, shivering as the zipper slid down his spine, breaking apart to reveal bare skin that barely ever saw the sun. His head tilted to the side as he closed his eyes, letting out a soft huff as his hands moved to Shiro's shoulders, squeezing there gently.

"I'm not..." he tried to protest, the tips of his ears red.

“You are to me...” He answered immediately, as he looked up to Keith and allowed his hands to caress the smooth skin that was revealed. Not that he could see what he was doing, but he’s navigating. He tugs the outfit off of Keith, so that it dropped to the floor, and the second it hit the carpet— Shiro is instantly enamored by Keith.

He breathed out a quiet breath, unbelieving that the universe could be so kind as to give him this body again. He thanks every star there is, as his hands roam up Keith’s body, and back down again. His hands stop at his ass, and he gives a gentle squeeze.

“Your ass is pretty great too, Keith.” This world’s version of him has _no_ idea what he’s missing out on. No idea. “And that’s not something I’m saying to get me on your good side.”

Sputtering, Keith stood there as Shiro explored him, embarrassment making his limbs lock up completely. He'd gotten a few more scars over the years from traversing the universe, but overall? He didn't look _bad_.

Moving to push off the rest of his outfit, Keith stepped out of it with ease before returning to stand in front of Shiro, leaning forward to close the distance and _kiss_ him again. It wasn't fair that Shiro was still clothed, but he was too nervous and embarrassed to say that out loud at this moment, more worried about not messing this up.

Shiro’s more breathless when Keith’s completely unclothed, as if he’s never seen him naked before. But he acts like it’s his first time seeing him naked, because he’s blushing, and touching Keith again like his life depended on memorizing every curve.

“Mm,” He hummed into the initiated kiss, palms pressing to Keith’s hips, before he removed himself from the kiss. His Altean arm is in charge of helping him take off his shirt. It’s been a long time since Keith has even seen Shiro shirtless— and that time didn’t even compare to how ripped he was underneath. Granted, different Shiro, but their body type was practically the same.

He doesn’t think much on that, as he shifted Keith backwards just a little, so that he could pull down his pants and boxers. Though, he stopped to stare at Keith. “... Did you want to do this part, or...?”

"I, um." Keith stared with wide eyes, taking another step back. "I'd... probably mess it up." He smiled, trying to make the situation lighter with that small joke, but it just came out looking like he wasn't sure of his abilities at all. Keith had masturbated many times, but it was _different_ with someone else, and he didn't want to mess this up. Not now — not with Shiro.

Shiro stared at him, and then snorts, an understanding yet amused smile on his face. “I meant taking off the rest of my clothes, but, if that’s how you really feel about it...” He chuckled, humored by Keith’s words and by what he’d thought he meant, before his fingers latched around his waistband.

Reaching out, Keith slid his hands over Shiro's, grasping them and pulling them away as he stepped forward. He pressed himself between Shiro's legs, moving to kiss him again... but preventing him from removing his lower clothing.

Was he being a tease? Most definitely. But right now, Keith didn't _care_.

Oh, Keith was definitely being a tease. But it seemed like Shiro was _digging_ that, his  quiet moan hummed into the kiss, as his arms found their way around Keith. They managed another squeeze to his rear end, before his human hand slid in between them, and brushed the back of his fingers against Keith’s member.

“You sure have been waiting a long time for this, haven’t you?” He mumbles against Keith’s lips.

" _Too_ long," Keith huffed, groaning as he pressed against Shiro's hand, moving to tug down his pants and _finally_ begin to touch him. His fingers gently slid over Shiro's stomach and down to grasp his member, squeezing it experimentally.

He bit his lower lip as he stared at Shiro with hooded eyes, his hair falling over a shoulder as he turned to kiss Shiro's jaw, then right below his ear. "I _want_ this, Shiro..."

Shiro’s response was to laugh under his breath, as his dick his touched for the first time in years, by a hand it’s far too familiar with. “I know you do, baby—” The pet name had been a slip up, as his hands stopped roaming Keith’s body. Shiro blushed brilliantly, and looked to Keith with a nervous gaze. “I... Didn’t mean to say—”

" _God_ , Shiro." Keith groaned as he pressed further into the older man, a shiver running down his spine as he sucked in a breath. He pulled down the other's pants and underwear _completely_ as he grasped Shiro's hands once more, lifting them to put on his shoulders and neck. That name had been a _definite_ turn on for Keith. He stared at Shiro with a pang of sadness, biting his lower lip in a much-too sensual way.

"... you really loved him, didn't you?"

Shiro grew silent, as his pants and underwear dropped to the floor completely. But when he looked up at Keith, and looked at him in the manner that he does, that gives more of an answer than his words ever would.

“Yeah. He was my everything.” He moved his hands from Keith’s body, to grab the dog tags around his neck, and to put them on the bedside table nearby. T. Shirogane was seen on one, and on the other, K. Kogane. He doesn’t give it a second glance, though, as his hands return to the Keith in front of him. “It was some years ago. But my love has never gone away. I still love him.” He paused, and then smiled to Keith. “I still love _you.”_

"... are we really the same?" Keith asked, noticing the dog tags... but not mentioning them. It would be too cruel, in the current moment. He glanced to the bag that Shiro had bought, but didn't say anything — he wanted to hear Shiro talk more. He'd missed just _talking_ , even. Missed his voice, the way it sounded, the low commanding tone of it...

“... Yeah. You’re a little different, but everything feels the same. I feel comfortable with you.” He glanced to the side at the bag as well, seeing Keith look at it, before he let out a low breath. “I can tell you more after, if you really want to know.” He moved his hand to grab the handle of the plastic, and pulled it over to them. He took out the condom box, as well as the lube he’d gotten. He opened up the black box, and got a condom open, his hand ever so slightly unsteady. But he managed, and slipped it onto himself with a shuddering sigh. Then, he got the lube.  
  
“It’s probably going to be cold, but... I promise that the cold won’t last forever.” He squirted some of the lube on his fingers, before he shifted away from Keith and stood up. He gestured for Keith to get on the bed. “Just go on your hands and knees. It might not be the position we’ll use, but, it’s the easiest way for me to make sure you’re prepared completely.”

Nodding, Keith bit his lip again and crawled onto the bed, turning away from Shiro as he crouched... and raised his rear further into the air. Quite honestly, it was a comfortable position for Keith to be in, leaning on his arms as his forehead pressed against the bed. "... if it's cold, warn me before?"

“Yeah, I will.” Shiro assured, waiting until Keith was situated before his thumb pulls an ass cheek apart from the other one. “I’m doing it... now.” Shiro waited a second for the words to be heard, before a finger slowly delved in, and begins to massage his walls. The lube was, as promised, a bit cold, but Shiro had done his best to warn him.

After a moment, he added another finger, garnering Keith’s reaction to them as he worked on relaxing him.

Keith let out a soft noise of discomfort at first, wincing and shifing his ass up a little for easier access, then curled his toes into the bed. It _was_ cold, but thanks to Shiro taking it slow, it was beginning to warm up immensely.

"... Shiro—"

“Shhh,” Shiro cooed softly, his fingers continuing a moment longer, as his other hand ran up and down Keith’s leg. “I’ve got you, baby.” He felt better saying it, this time. He’d seen Keith’s reaction, and like fuck is he going to _stop_ saying it, now. He physically can’t bring himself to.

He removed his fingers when he felt Keith relax around them, and brings both hands to Keith’s hips, to massage them. “How... do you want me to fuck you, Keith?”

The name made Keith shiver once more, and he pressed back against Shiro's hand as he turned his head to look. "Just _fuck_ me." He didn't care how — he wanted it hard, he wanted it fast, and they could take their time _later_.

This wouldn't just be a one time thing. Not for Keith — he knew that he wanted the entirety of Shiro _now_ , and even more _after_.

Shiro’s mouth opened, and for a second, he didn’t speak. But he soon after recovers from the stupor, and grins down to him.

“Your wish is my command,” Shiro calmly replied as he grabbed the lube bottle again, and coated his member with it. He hummed lowly before snapping the lid shut, and tossing it back onto the bed as he stroked himself. “I’ve been waiting so long for this...”

He grasped Keith’s sides and pulled him to the edge of the bed, then shifted so that he could position Keith with his legs spread further apart. He waited for Keith to be adjusted, before he takes care in sliding within him.

Once Keith was comfortable enough, he let out a soft moan as Shiro entered him, arching against him as he slowly got used to his size. His hair fell over his shoulders as he tilted his head down, trying to maintain keeping his legs apart but all he wanted to do was press them _together_ . After a moment of getting used to Shiro’s size, Keith let out a soft whine for him to _keep going_.

Shiro didn’t mind waiting a few moments to let Keith adjust. This whole time, he’d been nothing but patient, and slow. He knows how important someone’s first time is, much less... their situation.

He waited to hear some sort of confirmation from Keith that this was okay, and judging from that whine... Yeah, he thinks that’s pretty much as good of an “okay” as he was going to get, in this instance.

He groaned as he began to move, the sound reverberating in his throat as he slowly built up a rhythm. He remembered vaguely how _his_ Keith liked it. He wondered if it’s the exact same with this one, or if he’d get to learn new things. He goes a little faster, and he held onto Keith’s hips to help out his leverage with how hard he could go.

"N-ngh, Sh— iro—" Keith cried out, grasping the sheets underneath of him as he pressed his upper frame against the bed, feeling a warmth grow inside of him. He was incredibly turned on, and really had no idea how much he'd _love_ this.

Tensing up around Shiro, Keith closed his eyes and dug his fingers and toes into the bed, unable to help the small sounds that came out of him every now and again. He’d wanted this for so long, and now that it was happening? Keith was slowly but surely losing himself with pleasure.

Shiro was absolutely turned on by Keith’s moaning of his name. He hasn’t heard his name called out like that for so long, and all he can do is moan loudly in response to it, a grunt making its way out after as he forces himself to control himself. He doesn’t want to _hurt_ Keith.

But, that didn’t mean he wasn’t still fucking him as good as they both needed it. Shiro most certainly was, and he wouldn’t stop _that_ for even a second.

“K-Keith— God, you feel s _oh_ good—“ He growls out, ever so softly, as he gives a few harder thrusts in. He’s being very good for someone who missed this man more than anything.

" _SHIRO_ —" Keith cried out, ramming back against him from sheer instinct, his eyes flickering yellow. He could feel that he was _close_ , but he wanted _more_ . He wanted it _harder_.

"Shiro, Shiro _please_ —"

Shiro wasn’t surprised by this— that much was clear. In fact, maybe he had been waiting to see if this happened. In an instant, he did as Keith wanted him to, did what he _knew_ Keith wanted from him. It wasn’t hard to guess, he and his Keith had sex multiple times, but he had been wary of what _this_ Keith was like, during this. He’s relieved that it’s as he suspected— the same.

“That’s it, Keith. Let it all out, baby. I wanna _hear_ you.”

Feeling his ass get _rammed_ was cathartic to Keith, and it wasn't long until he came hard against the bed, his breath catching in his throat as he made a small gasping sound in his throat. He clenched around Shiro as he let out a breath of _relief_ , his juices trickling down his leg as he turned his head to stare with warm eyes.

"I love you, Shiro—"

Shiro wasn't too far behind, unable to last long anyway, due to years without anything like _this._ He huffed out a small breath, taking the moment to still his heart, before he looked down to Keith. His stunning eyes staring back at him took his breath away, and all Shiro could do was let out a breathy chuckle.

"I love you too, Keith. Love you so much..." he murmured, staying within him a moment longer, before slowly pulling out. He grunted, but immediately found a way to trash the condom before laying down on the bed. Keith looked beautiful like this, and Shiro extended his arms out to the other, to draw him in.

Keith was thoroughly _exhausted_. He moved to flop against Shiro as he curled into him, trying to reach for the covers to pull over them. He didn't care that there was still liquid against his legs — he'd deal with that in the morning. His hair had come undone, and Keith let out a breath as he tried to brush away the bangs from his face. "... I need a haircut."

Shiro made a face as his hand lifted, and carded through the beautiful locks of Keith's hair. "Aww, but I love it long. It suits you. Maybe you just need to put it up a different way." Shiro said, smiling warmly to Keith as he played with his hair, finding the action calming to do. "Do you have anything to tie your hair with?"

"Mmm. Hair ties are in the front pocket of my bag." Keith waved his arm over at the chair next to the bed, blowing a breath of air up at his bangs again. "... do you really like it long?"

“I think it’s really cute,” Shiro said with fervor, slowly rising again with a grunt, moving over to the bag Keith gestured to. At least Keith got a good view from behind, in this moment.

“Found ‘em,” Shiro chimed as he closed the pocket, and moved back over to the bed. “Sit back up. You tell me if you like this style or not, and if you don’t, then cut your hair like you wanna. Simple as that.”

Keith definitely stared, and then sat up when Shiro told him to, breathing in... and then out. It made him feel giddy that Shiro was talking to him this way — they hadn't been this casual for years, and the way they conversed felt like no time had passed at all.

"You know me. I can't really... lie." Not because he couldn't try, but he was just. Really bad at it.

“Oh yeah, I know you can’t. Which is why you’ll tell me what you think after.” Shiro poked his tongue out, despite Keith not being able to see it, before he sets to work.

After a moment, he ended up tying Keith’s hair into two pigtails. Mainly, this was just him messing around a little first, just to see what it looked like. He seemed super amused with himself, as his fingers twirled around the branching off pieces of his hair.

"You're gonna love this one, I bet."

Standing up, Keith went to the mirror, staring at his reflection. His shoulders fell as he turned back to stare at Shiro, his expression just _done_. "I take it back. This is awful, and you're the worst."

"Awww, c'mon, Keith," Shiro laughed, a bright smile on his face as he beckoned Keith back over. "Let me try another one. Although, I'd recommend that one for a back up. You look downright adorable." He added a wink to that statement as his hands make grabbing motions for Keith to return to him. "You'll like the next one better. Promise."

Grumping back over to Shiro, Keith let out a long sigh as he turned around and crossed his arms, waiting for Shiro to _fix it_.

Shiro just snorted before he "fixed" the _awful_ thing he did to Keith. This time, it took a smidge longer for him to complete whatever style he was putting Keith's hair into, but it might be obvious by the feel of it, what it was when he was done. He ended up tying Keith’s hair into a neat long braid, one Shiro was happy to see. It was like looking back into the past for him, and it made his smile grow all the more fonder for it.

“Okay, done,” He tied it all up, and then let it go. “Go see your new hair style.”

Moving forward, Keith glanced in the mirror again and turned his head, pulling his hair over his shoulder. His fingers slid over the braid in a slow manner, inspecting the work done in it — the braids were tight, and well knitted together.

He looked at Shiro with surprise, not expecting something so well done from the man. "... thank you, Shiro."

"You're welcome." Shiro murmured— and he somehow managed to slip under the covers already, as if knowing that Keith would like it, and that he wouldn't have to do anything more.

This Shiro really did know his Keith _well._

Moving to join Shiro again, Keith snuggled up next to him as he rested his head on his upper arm, breathing in and then letting it out slowly when he closed his eyes.

This had been an amazing time, and a small part of him wondered if this was a dream that he'd wake up from, so similar to times before.


	2. own little world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you're in a place you're not supposed to be, people take notice.

Fortunately for both of them, it was not a dream.

Shiro had been in a very peaceful sleep... until he felt something heavy over him. He opened his eyes to see Cosmo _right_ there in his face, growling _loudly,_ and looking rather angry. Shiro was stunned for a moment, before he spoke out loud. "Keith? Can you wake up, please?"

Keith grunted, shifting against Shiro. He heard the growling instantly and sat up, reaching out to grasp one of Cosmo's ears and pull his entire upper head into his chest, hugging him tightly.

"Sorry. I... forgot, you probably hadn't seen him for a while." The size difference was _definitely_ noticeable, and the space wolf was as big as Shiro now. "Cosmo, it's fine. Okay? It's just Shiro."

Cosmo went with obediently, the growling lowering to a soft rumble, as he nestled up with Keith. He took up a lot of space on this bed, so Shiro blinked, as he went from having lots of space— to having his foot and arm hanging off. He glanced over with a soft huff. "That’s just rude."

Cosmo rumbled louder in response, before he nuzzled his nose to Keith’s jaw.

"He's usually my sleeping buddy." Keith smirked, raising his eyebrows at Shiro in a curious manner. "Neither of you need to be jealous."

"I’m not jealous," Shiro said, looking over Cosmo incredulously, as the wolf simply pushed Shiro further and further off the bed, and away from Keith.

**_Yes he is._ **

Keith _snorted_ as he snuggled his face into Cosmo's fur, fingers entangling themselves into his thick coat. "... if you stopped pushing him off of the bed, Cosmo, he _might_ brush you."

Cosmo’s foot stopped nudging Shiro in the side. Even though he didn’t communicate with Shiro, the wolf turned his head to look completely behind him, and stare upside down at the other man in bed.

**_He has to brush me the right way. Or I’m throwing him out._ **

"He wants you to brush him, Shiro." Keith smirked as he stifled his laughter, finding the current situation endearing, and cathartic. "He's picky about his brushes but... hairbrush is in my bag if you wanna try."

He lowered his voice to the space wolf. "I'm not kicking him out, Cosmo."

Shiro stared at the two a moment longer, eyes narrowly watching Cosmo, who’s eyes were _also_ watching him. They stare a long moment, before Shiro huffs, and slides the rest of the way out of bed, to get the brush.

**_I think you should. Why is he here? Didn’t you want nothing to do with him?_ **

"... this is a Shiro from another reality." He jerked his head up at the retreating figure of Shiro. "He acts... different." An idea formed in his head, and he moved his fingers to scratch Cosmo behind the ears lovingly. "If you want to test him... you can."

Shiro rummaged through the bag, clearly not finding it right away. He’s a little deterred, but he’s not stopping his search. Cosmo watched him for a moment, before his pupils turned to Keith.

**_Test?_ **

"Like how you tested me, when you were... thiiiis big." Keith beamed as he spread his hands apart just shy of a few inches, rubbing his thumb up Cosmo's snout. "You were wary of everything, even when we saved your life." He never blamed Cosmo for it, but he felt the first dregs of the telepathic feel that the space wolf had put out, trying to search his mind for anything hostile.

"I still don't know how your ability works exactly, but... maybe there's a way you could see if he's the real deal?" He wanted to make sure this wasn’t a clone, like before.

Cosmo seemed to be thinking it over, as Shiro returned back to them. Just as Shiro was about to start brushing him, he used his ability on Shiro, allowing him a chance to see... what it was that _they_ saw, on the night of the wedding. It looked like a standard wedding at first to Shiro, but he soon was showed whose wedding it really was.

Shiro looked visibly sick just from seeing it, and Cosmo took that hint to keep going. Shiro now saw the before of this, how Keith and Shiro barely talked, how _cold_ and distant they seemed with one another. How Shiro didn’t even give him much of a second glance—

That made Shiro drop the brush, and bring both hands to his face, just _staring_ down to the blue fur on Cosmo’s back. He didn’t understand it, and he found himself wanting to throw up.

**_Do you wish to see more?_ **

Shiro looked up to Cosmo, and before he even says anything, he’s shaking his head and turning his body completely away. It was certain to say that this Shiro is _not_ The Shiro Cosmo knew.

 **_You are telling the truth..._ ** Shiro didn’t know what to say. So he nodded. **_Interesting._ **

Keith stared at them both, biting his lip as he curled his legs underneath of him to sit up. He saw the way Shiro recoiled from him, saw him drop the brush with surprise. "... I think that's too much, Cosmo—"

**_He is okay._ **

Shiro was. He was okay, but there were tears in his eyes, as the image of him loving another man came into view. That just made him beyond sick.

What made him more sick was the way he ignored Keith, only gave orders to him, as if he were another paladin and not the love of his life. What a _moron._ His behavior appalled him so much, that the tears freely streamed down his face, and he covered it with his hands.

**_Or at least, he was supposed to be._ **

Standing up abruptly, Keith half ran to Shiro as he collapsed on top of him, hugging him tightly. "Shiro!?" He reached up to press his hand against his cheek, worry on his face. "Cosmo, what did you _do_ ?! Shiro— I'm here, I'm _here_. Focus on me, okay? Just... think clear thoughts—"

Shiro was very much trying to think all of those clear thoughts that he wanted to. Right now, Cosmo had also shown him Allura sacrificing herself. Allura was one of his best friends— knowing that in this world, he doesn’t see her, and is _fine_ with that—

He let a sob escape, an apology making it through, before his arms wrapped snug around Keith. Cosmo stopped, his ears pinned to his head, as he watches on. Their Shiro lacked this sort of emotion for such a long time. He didn’t expect this Shiro to be so... emotional.

 **_I’m sorry Shiro._ ** Cosmo apologized and pressed his wet nose to his side, as if to try and comfort him, too. Shiro needed the few moments to calm down, his face pressing to Keith’s chest, as he swallowed thickly. Once he took in a deeper breath, he sunk into Keith’s embrace completely.

"I’m. I’m sorry." Shiro says, jaw tensing, as he fights himself. "It’s not your fault, Cosmo. It’s..."

It’s his fault. Not-him-his fault. He bit his lip, and the more he focuses on relaxing, he does. He seemed to have some way of mentally talking himself into calming down, for intense times like these.

"I can’t believe all of that is real."

"Patience yields focus," Keith said softly, tensing as the words came out. Those were words originally from Shiro, and how Keith's Shiro had treated him…

It still stung.

Wordlessly, he sat down and hugged Shiro close to him, resting his chin on the other's head. There was nothing to say at this point — for Keith, it had been his reality for _years_. He'd just learned to live with it.

"Can you get us breakfast, Cosmo?" Keith asked, his voice shaky as he spoke.

Cosmo looked up to Keith, and bowed his head before he teleported away, leaving Keith and Shiro to be alone. Shiro relaxed in Keith's arms, but he still felt very tense. At least the words seemed to have calmed him some.

"Thanks Keith..." He murmured, his fingers lightly digging into the other's skin, as he held him. It takes a lot to really silence Shiro, and it seems like seeing all of that put him a bit on edge. "Sorry. I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"I'm here for you. As long as it takes." Keith glanced towards the bed, then back to Shiro as he rose and tugged him. "C'mon. Bed's comfier. We can cuddle there. Okay?" There was panic still in his voice, and a part of him was so afraid Shiro was just going to _disappear_ from this.

Keith didn't want that to happen.

Shiro's chest rose and fell, before he ultimately agreed, and moved to the bed with Keith. He got back under the covers, and rubbed his head as a migraine brewed between his eyes. But cuddling— cuddling was also something he missed. It didn’t take much for Shiro to pull Keith into his space, and to curl up around him. He held him like he was afraid to let go, but with a warmness that told Keith that this Shiro isn't going _anywhere._

"Love you, Keith," Shiro murmured into his hair, his hand running up and down Keith's back. "I'm alright. It just took me off guard, to see all that."

Keith pressed his face into Shiro's hands, breathing in raggedly as he closed his eyes, and opened them again just to stare at the other. He couldn't believe this was happening — that Shiro was here, that he was _staying_ , that it wasn't a dream…

Letting out a soft sound, Keith let his head fall as he got into a more comfortable position, clinging to Shiro's arm as he traced over the scars on his chest, exploring his skin. "... I've loved you for a long, long time. I... can't believe you've felt the same way..."

"Like I said... In every reality, in some way shape or form, we're together." He paused, and frowned. "Just not this one. And... I'm troubled by it, because I don't know what made things be like how they are now. And I just... it's so _weird_. So wrong. I don't get what's going on in this world, or in your Shiro's head, but I'd definitely like to meet him and see what he's like. Even if... he acts nothing like me."

Keith was silent for a moment, pressing his lips together as he breathed in, letting out a shaky sigh. "... we have a get-together we go to, to remember Allura. It's... a dinner, of sorts, where we get to see everyone and check up with each other." He smiled sadly as he curled into Shiro.

"Some of us gather more worry than others." He knew that the last dinner they were at... Shiro had barely even looked at him. Asked him how the Blade of Marmora was doing... and that was it.

It left a bitter taste in Keith's mouth, and he didn't want to go, but he knew he had to.

"... Ah. Well that’s rather sweet. That’s the least she deserves... I’m still upset that she did this. I’m not even sure why there had to be any sacrifice at all, but, then again... She didn’t give me much information on that."

Shiro frowned, his body leaning further against Keith’s, wanting to be as close as he can to him. "I want to go with you to this dinner. Would I be allowed to?"

Thinking for a moment, Keith smiled in a slow manner as he drew his fingers up Shiro's side, a coy look in his eyes. "... you'd have to go incognito." The corners of his lips tugged upwards as he lit up. "... in a... blade... outfit..."

"Oh, do I?" Shiro asks, looking to the other with a raised brow. Slowly, the corner of his mouth twitched upwards, and he tilts his head to the side, at the feeling of fingers running over his skin. "Is that because Shiro can't know who I am, or is it because you want to see me in one?"

"It will remain a mystery," Keith replied with ease, shifting to kiss Shiro on his lips gently. It was both reasons, really, but he wasn't going to elaborate on that. His lips parting, Keith's eyes slid halfway shut as he moved a leg against Shiro's, wanting to lose himself in this man once again. "... Shiro," he breathed, putting everything he wanted into that one word.

All Shiro does is roll his eyes to that, but there was a bemused grin on his face, as the corners of his eyes crinkled with his entertainment. "Alright, sure. Whatever you say." He chuckled and moved to lay completely on his back, pulling Keith on top of him in the same motion. He bit his lip, considering which way he could possibly answer the other, before breathing out a small, "Yes, Keith?"

Keith moved to press his palms against Shiro's stomach, shivering as he bit his lip, reveling in the feel of the way Shiro felt against his rear. He wanted more of that, finding the man intoxicating and distracting all at once.

"Are you feeling better?" Keith asked, not wanting to start something if Shiro wasn't up for it. He wanted to make sure the other was okay before doing anything else... but it was apparent how much he wanted an encore of last night.

"Yeah," Shiro murmured in response, his gaze upon Keith softening, his hands smoothing up and down the length of his back as they sat there together like that. He was enjoying just this immensely, but, he did of course want a repeat of last night. "But if you want to do something, you're gonna have to grab the stuff we need from off the floor."

Keith pouted, huffing slightly. That required _work_ , and he didn't want to move at the moment. Shiro was _warm_ , and he couldn't bring himself to part from the other that long.

Not when he hadn't seen the man for _years_. Not like this.

After a moment of contemplation, Keith finally relented and moved off of Shiro to retrieve the items, shifting his body so he was still halfway on the bed... and his rear completely within range of Shiro's reach.

Shiro let his hands slide off of Keith when he moved away from him, allowing him to get the condoms and the lube. Although, mischief glinted in his eyes as he stared at Keith's perfectly plump ass, right on display. He knew that's not really what was happening, but he was very tempted.

So, of course, he gave _in_ to those temptations.

He leisurely slid onto his stomach and grabbed Keith's hips, biting one of his ass cheeks — just to catch him by surprise.

"HaaaHHH—" Keith groaned out, arching against the bed as his fingers closed tighter around the lube, body twisting as he trembled. He didn’t have the strength at the moment to climb back onto the bed.

Not with Shiro _holding_ him like that.

His heart was beating hard in his chest, and he turned his head to half-heartedly glare at Shiro, tongue sticking out between his teeth. " _Rude_."

"I never said I was _nice."_ Shiro grinned innocently, before he leaned his head back just slightly, thumbs parting Keith's ass cheeks. His tongue slid over his taint, a quiet hum leaving him, as he then pressed his tongue to his entrance and prods it inside. His hands kneaded the rear end beneath his fingertips as he opened Keith up for himself.

He was very aware of the positioning right now, and he'd help Keith up in a moment… but he was having _far_ too much enjoyment with this.

Dropping the lube, Keith braced both palms on the floor as he trembled and let out a soft moan, hanging his head as his legs shook. "S-shiro—" He arched against the bed and let out a soft groan, not wanting the other to stop at _all_ . "Shiro, _please_ —" Keith hated the way that Shiro made him unravel so easily, but at the same time he _loved_ it; he just wished he had a better tolerance for this so he could make Shiro _work_ for it.

"Mm?" Shiro hummed against Keith's ass, his tongue slipping out as he pulled his head back. He tilted his head to the side, gripping Keith's hips again. "Make sure you have the lube when you come back up. I have no problem doing that again." He happily chuckled, a greater difference in comparison to what he was a few minutes before. He pulled Keith up once he was sure the other had everything, and takes the condom from him so that he could slide it on. "How do you want me, Keith?"

Holding the lube tightly in his hand, Keith sat up with Shiro's help and gave him a _look_ . He wasn't that upset, but his grumpy look made him look _divine_ , especially with his mussed up braid that was coming apart.

Swallowing and finding the sound far too loud for his own ears, Keith moved forward and straddled Shiro again, staring down to him with a heated gaze. "... can we do it like this?" His fingers slid down Shiro's chest. "I want to see your face."

Shiro always thought Keith looked wonderful, and right now surely, in particular. It definitely was a foundation for the reaction he had to the idea of Keith riding him, and he seemed over the moon with it.

"I'd be more than delighted to see your face right back," He purred, getting the lube on his member before his hands ran up the sides of Keith as he gets comfortably seated on him. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but the idea of Keith coming on him made him hard, and yearning. "I loved seeing your face, the way it showed me that I was doing a good job, for you. I'd love to see it on _your_ face, now..."

Keith stared at him, shivering as Shiro spoke like _that_. "Are you talking like this on purpose?" It was very different than the coldness he was used to. He used a little of the lube on his own hand as he reached back, grasping Shiro's member and slowly pumping it up and down, watching his reaction intently.

He was getting better, and bolder, at exploring.

"I mean... I guess so?" Shiro said, swallowing thickly as he felt Keith's hand on him. He shivered and suppressed a moan, controlling himself by holding tightly onto Keith's hips. "It's on purpose in the sense that I mean it..."

He blushed a little at the admonition, looking up to Keith's gorgeous eyes, with a quiet huff of a laugh. "I know it's hard to believe, considering it's me, but... I do love everything about you."

"Prove it," Keith found himself saying, letting go and perching himself forward as he spread his legs apart. He got comfortable before moving his hips back, rear just barely brushing against Shiro's member. "Tell me everything you love, while loving me." Keith's eyes were dark, full of want and need, fingers poised over Shiro's chest as he waited.

"I think I can do that for you, baby." Shiro whispered as he leaned up, kissing Keith tenderly. Once he's had his moment, he then laid himself back down against the bed, hands sliding down to Keith's ass. He got a good grip on it before he lifted his hips up, and entered Keith as agonizingly slow as he possibly could.

"Did you know," he started, whilst getting a good feel for a rhythm. "That your eyes are like mini constellations? I love the color of your eyes so much. Even though, ngh, we're surrounded by different planets and stars right now... I, ah, the space in your eyes is more comfortable than anywhere in the vast universe."

Keith's eyes widened as he shifted forward, breathing out slowly as he felt Shiro enter him. He felt like he'd asked for a bite and gotten a whole _meal_ with the way Shiro spoke to him, and his face and ears turned completely red. "Shiro..." he whispered, lower lip trembling as he stared at the man underneath of him, reaching out to press a gentle hand against the other's cheek. His thumb traced over the lines there, lingering on each one as he smiled sadly, tears running down his face.

"Keep going. Please."

Shiro felt pleased by the reaction, biting his lower lip as he watched Keith's face redden considerably. Red really was a great color on him, and a hand moved up to run over a red cheek, as if to admire it. And, to wipe away the tears that show on his face, a look of understanding dawned there. "Okay."

He thought for a long moment, his eyes trained on the different features of his face, before he settled on his eyes again. "I love your personality. You always kept me on my toes, and I've always felt a sense of _home_ being with you. You've got the best sense of humor, and you may be a bit of a hard nut to crack, but I'm happy I got through that. It's a shame the version of me here didn't capitalize on it, but..."

Giving a hard thrust upwards, Shiro's eyes raked over Keith's body. "I'm not going to miss _my_ chance to."

Breaking eye contact, Keith shuddered as a loud moan was drawn out of him, his hands set to either side of Shiro as he moved to bite his shoulder.

"God, _Shiro_ ..." he trembled as he kept thrusting, unable to help the sounds he made as he was fucked relentlessly. He couldn't help the tears from flowing, teeth gritted together as he lost himself with every thrust.  
  
Keith had a lot of pent up trauma to get over.

Shiro let out a very low groan, his throat creating a soft rumble in the back of his throat, as he continued to fuck up into Keith without relenting. Keith felt so wonderful, he _looked_ so wonderful, and while he was concerned about the tears-- he just knew it had to be all of the emotions pent up inside him. Keith had never been one to really cry, and it caught him off guard whenever he did, but he... he couldn't blame the other for feeling so strongly about the love he couldn't have.

But Shiro, _this_ Shiro, with him... _he_ was going to make this right. He was going to give Keith the love he deserves, the love _he_ should have been giving him, and the support he's been craving for so long. He smiled a little more, and his pace became much faster, than it was harder.

"I love you, Keith," he groaned, his nails digging into the other's skin, muscles tense with every movement. "You're so amazing-- I could look at you all day, and never get tired..."

Biting his shoulder again, Keith rocked back against Shiro a few times until he whimpered softly, closing his eyes and tensing. "I'm close, Shiro..." he held on, sucking in a breath as he moved to kiss Shiro with passion, a sob half echoed out.

"I love you, Shiro-- I _love you_ \--"

His eyes were alight with joy as he watched Keith rock back into him, his body quivering as he felt Keith tense around him. He himself was super close, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to last at all, like this. Much like last night, he was going to end up cutting this one shorter than he'd like.

"Mmh, _yes,_ you do— and I love _you._ Come for me, baby..."

" _Fuck_ \--" Keith came as he clenched around Shiro, letting out a soft cry as his mouth remained agape. He panted as he collapsed on Shiro, barely having enough strength to cling to him as he pressed his face into his chest.

Shiro's entire body tensed, his mouth opening, and releasing out a very loud moan that he had no problems letting out as he came. He wasn't normally loud, Keith would learn this the longer he was allowed to be there with him, but for right now-- when this is new? He would be.

Keith was silent for a moment, gathering his breath as he stared up at the other. "... I like your chest." Keith said as he finally spoke, his exertion slipping through as he reached up and squeezed one. "Boob."

Shiro was taken aback by the way Keith grabbed one of his pecs. Of _course_ he would, the sight of Keith squeezing it making him laugh, as he leans his head down and kisses the bangs sticking to his forehead. "Thanks. I'm glad that you do."

Squeezing it a couple more times just to feel it _squish_ , Keith relented before he sighed and managed to get up, staggering before leaning against the bed to keep his balance. He stared at the shower, wondering if traveling that distance was worth it.

Shiro could see the way he was eyeing the bathroom door, and took a peek to the wooden door, then glanced back to Keith. "I think it’d be a good idea to shower. There’s other things you have to do for the Blades today, right?"

Turning an appreciative gaze towards Shiro, Keith let out a breath. Shiro always knew what he was thinking without him having ever to say it.

Just like old times.

"I have to meet with my mom today." He paused, staring at Shiro. "That's... going to be awkward."

"... Maybe just a little. Should she even know about me being here? I feel as though it’d be a little hard to hide from Kolivan and your mother." He made a face, and looked away again. "I don’t like lying to your mom either."

Pausing, Keith stared at Shiro, his shoulders slumping. He didn’t want to think about it, but the constant thought of this not being _his_ Shiro plagued his mind. "... don't they miss you, back home?"

Shiro looked back to Keith at that, and shortly after, he gave a shrug. "I visit from time to time, so they know I’m out there somewhere, but safe. I love being there with them, but... I don’t. I don’t have anything there." He looked down to the blankets, and bit the skin inside his cheek. "Keith was my future. I defended the universe so that everyone could live, so that peace could be had in all walks of life, but I did it for Keith too. I lost my drive for a lot of things when he was gone."

"I'm sorry." Keith said, his voice soft, and he meant it. Reaching out, he grasped Shiro's face and tilted it up to kiss, lingering. "I know I'll never be as good as the Keith you had. No one will. But if you want... we can build something together, our lives strewn across the stars." He paused, his face red from embarrassment. Keith hadn't meant for it to sound so _romantic_.

"We can. Uh. Start with a shower?"

"You don't need to be him. You just need to be you." Shiro smiled, absolutely genuinely, when he says those words. He knew Keith was sorry for him, sorry for the Keith he didn't get to have, and he was too. But he was happy to have _this_ Keith, in whatever way Keith would have him.

And clearly, that was any way that he _could_ have him. Judging by the words that got a solid blush rising to Shiro's face, he wanted whatever he could take. Shiro wanted to give him it all. "A shower would be a great start," Shiro chuckled, lifting Keith enough to slide out of him with a shudder. But he smirked up to him, and reached up with both hands to hold Keith's face. "And by the way, I would love that. I'd love that more than anything, with you."

Curling into Shiro, Keith muttered a soft, "great, carry me" into his chest, not really meaning it but attempting to find a shred of energy to get up and shower with the one he loved the most.

Shiro rose an eyebrow at the soft "command", and a smirk appeared on his face. "Okay." It wasn't a second later that Shiro held Keith tighter to himself, and lifted him up in his arms. It was easy to pick up Keith, and to carry him, and Shiro had honestly missed having the other man cradled in his arms like this. He kissed his temple as he entered the bathroom, and carefully set him down. "I'll go grab towels. You make the shower the temperature you like it."

"How do you have so much energy," Keith complained, eyeing Shiro with a skeptical eyebrow as he huffed, moving to turn on the shower. He himself was better at short-term fights, little scraps that held a lot of energy but required a lot of rest after.

"Cosmo should be back with food any time now. And maybe my mom."

"Considering I had you to wear me out a lot, where I'm from? A lot more than I used to." He snorted, winking to Keith easily before he moved to the sink and grabbed some towels to have closer to the shower. Easier to grab, if they were within reach. "We used to even have sex in the Castle. Never heard the end of it after the one time Allura heard us." He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, as he walked into the stand up shower, plenty big enough for the two of them. "I'm looking forward to some food, though. Hopefully the food here is a lot better than the last reality I was in."

"Oh. My god." Keith couldn't help but smile at that, ducking his head down. He'd thought about doing that with _his_ Shiro a few times, but... it never happened. His bright eyes turned towards Shiro in loud silence, amusement seeping into them. He wanted to hear more details about _that_ particular story.

"What?" Shiro said, eyes crinkling with mirth, as he stood under the water, letting his hair get wet. "You don't believe me? You wanted to try everywhere we feasibly could. I turned down any of the _too_ outlandish ones, but we got a little risky every now and then. At first, I didn't know how to keep up, considering you had a lot more stamina than Adam ever had. And Adam and I... We never did anything too crazy. It was different, and nice."

Shiro's cheeks flushed considerably, as he moved from under the water, and reaches a wet hand to Keith's hair to gently tug out the braid. He could always re-do it, but Keith should wash _everywhere._ "It didn't happen immediately. There was some unspoken thing between us. We never talked about it, we just did it, whenever we could and wherever. Granted, I probably should've said something, but you seemed content with the sex and I was fine with that. I didn't want to scare you off with something _more,_ but, little did I know a few months later that "more" was something you'd always wanted."

He laughed, looking away from Keith entirely, now. "When I recovered, we were stronger than ever before. We talked the second we had a chance to, and from that day on, we made our relationship official in the back of the black lion. I could never forget that day, even if space felt like a never ending journey, without the Castle. That had been one of the happiest days of my entire life."

Keith stared at him, his mouth agape. He turned his head instantly when Shiro tugged out his braid, moving to let the water run through it. It was extremely long, falling to the middle of his back as he closed his eyes in satisfaction. That was something he'd always wanted. What Shiro was saying left him feeling bittersweet; he was happy another version of him _got_ that, but he never did.

Their lives were so different.

"What was too outlandish for you?" Keith finally asked, smirking. He had to know. For like, science, or something.

"Hah— well, for one," Shiro started, arms crossing as he stares down at Keith, as if knowing what his secret plot could possibly be behind this question. "The Bridge of the Castle. You wanted to do it in the seat that leads down to the black lion hangar, and I said no. You stubbornly refused to talk to me the rest of the night, but you got over it."

Shiro seemed fond of the memory, anyway, and it got a laugh out of him.

Keith held his face, doubling over in laughter. That definitely _sounded_ like him, and he _would_ have been that moody had he been denied. "That seat would have been _perfect_ , though."

"Yes, you said that too, just in a different tone of voice. But reminiscing on it was funny, too." He smiled a little more, perhaps a little too fondly. "I let you have your way with what you wanted when it came to being on _my_ ship, however. We had a bit of, ahem... _fun_ on the bridge of the Atlas once or twice, when no one was around. So it more than made up for it."

The statement made Keith somber, and his smile faded as he nodded, reaching to use the shampoo in his hair. He went silent as he ran his fingers through his locks, relaxing next to Shiro as he stared at the wall.

"... in this world, you don't pilot the Atlas anymore. It just... sits, while you spend time with Curtis in retirement."

"... Yeah, so I imagined." Shiro muttered, his gaze growing a little sad as well, and disappointed. "That's not a life I would want, not now. I'd love to be married-- I wanted to be married, with you. I wanted to travel the universe together, exploring everything and anything together, to make our own lives fulfilled. I haven't been able to do that by myself, and without you, my world's been a little... grey."

That was all he could think of to say, before he moved to grab the shampoo to pour into his hands. He messily ran it through his dark grey hair, which as Shiro scrubbed through it, it became the white it normally was. It wasn’t like he was a dirty man, but washing his hair had always been something scarcely important to him.

"I don't know how he's happy doing that. Settling down. Doesn't he remember that's the whole reason we left for Kerberos in the first place? We wanted to live our dream, before we couldn't-- and _Atlas_ is the peak of our dream. When I got that ship, and I was called Captain for the first time, it sunk in with me that it was _mine,_ and I was the pilot of it. I was no paladin again, but I was satisfied. It made me happy, and I just don't _get_ it."

He stopped, not realizing he was making himself mad about this for no reason. He sucked in a sharp breath, and turned his gaze to Keith. "Sorry."

Keith turned towards Shiro, dropping his arms and moving to hug him tightly, face pressing against his chest. "I've... been wondering that for years. Curtis is nice, but... you're not... _you_ anymore." Breathing in, he started to rub Shiro's back, reveling in the way he felt in his arms.

"... I never thought I'd get this, after that. So... I'm grateful for you."

Shiro is stunned by the hug he gets, but his arms had instantly moved out of the way for Keith, and took his time with staring down to him and wrapping his arms around his waist. "I'm grateful for you too, Keith. I just want to be here for you, like I always should've been."

"Well, _you_ are." Keith said, and left it at that. He tilted his head up and rose on his toes to kiss Shiro gently, hands rising to scrub in the shampoo further.

It was an excuse to run his fingers through Shiro's hair, really.

And Shiro didn't seem to mind it either, as his eyes closed, and he dipped his head only slightly. Keith was a little taller now, not by a lot, but definitely taller than his Keith had been.

He also decided not to continue that conversation. It was far too emotional for him to handle right now, and if he wanted to be able to face Krolia when her and Cosmo came here, he needed to have a clear mind.

Instead, he took some shampoo of his own, and ran his fingers through the other's ebony locks, brushing the kinks and knots out in a loving fashion. He was taking his time with it, just as Keith was taking his time with his own hair.

Melting under the touch, Keith closed his eyes and leaned against Shiro, making a sound of approval at the way Shiro was massaging his head. He tilted it so Shiro could move behind one ear and then the other, finally lowering his arms and turning so that his back was to the other.

Shiro smiled when Keith turned around finally, and easily plays with his hair as he washes it. He loved it so much — the length of it, and the way it fit Keith so perfectly. His preference was always seeing it in a braid, but it being down was very gorgeous, too.

He moved his hands once he was finished with Keith's hair, gesturing for him to take the chance to rinse all of the shampoo out.

Tilting his head back in compliance, Keith's expression was _content_ , his body fully relaxed against Shiro's as he let the water rinse off all of the shampoo. He reached over and took the soap, holding it up for Shiro to take.  
  
"You wanna do the honors?"

Shiro huffed out a laugh as he took the soap from him, a half smirk crossing his face. "Is that even a question?"

Of course he did. He poured soap into his hands and brought them to Keith's body, beginning to wash him as thoroughly as he can, after giving him a loving kiss to the base of his neck, pleased with the sound of approval from Keith.

Keith stretched against him as he was thoroughly explored, feeling much cleaner than he had in _weeks_. It wasn’t often that he was able to get to every nook and cranny of his body, and he let Shiro’s hands roam as much as they wanted.

Shiro’s hands moved over Keith's back, wrapping under his arms afterwards, and moving them around to his chest and down his stomach as he washed him from behind. He traversed over his hips, and even making sure his ass was thoroughly washed with one hand, while the other grabbed Keith's member. He stroked it, cleaning there too, with a quiet hum.

He doesn't make anything dirty of it, but he definitely made a show of exploring Keith's body, unashamedly. He's pretty happy, when he pulled away, and Keith let the water wash over him with a renewed mind.

Once he was sure that Shiro was done, Keith grasped the soap and poured the rest into his own hands, turning and reaching up to start in between Shiro's shoulder blades, returning the kind gesture for him without a word.

Shiro himself didn't mind letting Keith explore his body at _all._ In fact, he felt that certainly, the man was well-entitled to it, after all this time being without seeing it. So he smiled wide, as he watched Keith happily wash over his muscles. Keith’s eyes were warm as he scrubbed with his hands, moving down to Shiro's hips and then reaching around to run his thumb across the base as he went much _slower_ there.

Unlike Shiro, he _was_ teasing — of course he would.

"Keith." A thrill went up Keith's spine at the way Shiro said that, and he couldn't help but grin against a shoulder blade, still thumbing the base before he slid his hand to the tip.

"Shiro?"

This felt oh so familiar, and oh so _different,_ all the same. Keith answering him innocently, while doing the very thing he's absolutely not innocent of. Typical, beautiful, Keith. "No."

"Mm." Keith retracted his hand, only to replace it with his _other_ hand, the first splaying over one of Shiro's ass cheeks in amusement. He kissed the skin between his shoulder blades as he pressed against him, his smile felt far too easily through the skin.

"Using a different hand doesn't change my answer." He said, turning just his head to look at him, a smile on his face nonetheless. He'd... missed this so much. So much so, that he was half tempted to just let Keith do what he wanted.

Keith stopped at that, giving him a look like he'd been a wounded cat, pulling his hand back and scowling at the grin Shiro gave him. It was _wholly_ unfair, and the worst thing to _happen_ to Keith right now.

"Oh, don't give me that face." Shiro laughed, moving his hands to Keith's face, and squishing his cheeks together. "I would be all for whatever you'd want to do right now, but Cosmo and your mother are going to be here soon. I'd rather not have her be here while we're doing anything."

Keith's cheeks puffed out and he glanced down, then back up to Shiro with a prideful look. "Your _body's_ wanting it."

Well, Keith wasn’t wrong. Of _course_ Shiro’s body was wanting it. Those two sessions they’d shared were filling the void in his heady that he’s had for so long now.

His hands moved from Keith’s face, and he carefully curled his fingers around some strands. "Mm. Possibly. But I’m _ignoring_ it, for the sake of making a good impression with Krolia. Plus, I think it’d be really awkward if she heard me, without knowing any context."

Laughing, Keith's nose crinkled up as he reached up to grasp Shiro's hands, moving to kiss him. He had a point, but Keith didn't have to admit that. He finally relented, pulling away and moving to walk out of the shower. He purposefully rolled his hips to the side as he gave Shiro another hungry gaze, then very pointedly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself as he sauntered out of the bathroom.

Shiro made a point to watch Keith entirely, before he let out a very long sigh when he sashayed out of the room. Much like the Keith he knew, this one was going to kill him.

He couldn’t wait.

Shiro wasn’t that far behind Keith, only needing a minute to calm _himself_ down, before he could come out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Once he was out, he moved to his bag and grabbed out a much cleaner set of clothing to wear, drying himself before putting it on.

He felt more refreshed, wearing a jacket Keith would remember distinctly as the old one he used to wear. He seemed even more comfortable, this way.

By the time Shiro had left the bathroom, Keith was already halfway dressed, twisted to zip up the back of his suit as he contorted himself in the most _interesting_ of ways. He shifted and reached behind him to pull the zipper up entirely, then turned his sultry eyes on Shiro.

Grabbing the towel beside him, Keith lowered his head and mussed his own hair up to dry it, taking care to draw some strands between the towel and pull out what remaining water was left.

It was apparent that he was ignoring Shiro, now.

Shiro noticed it. He knew Keith’s patterns when it came to him ultimately being right, as annoying as that may be, and him not getting his way at the moment. Only when they were both fully dressed, did Shiro move over to Keith, reaching out and running his fingers through his hair. "I’ll make it up to you, when no one else is around. Okay?"

"Braid my hair like you did last night?" Keith asked, pressing his lips together as he sat up for Shiro. He didn't comment on Shiro making it up, deciding to just let him stew on that.

But that wasn't fair, he realized, a moment later. This was a different Shiro.

"Unless something else comes up? We can." He finally smiled at the other and turned to grasp his hand and kiss it, lips lingering on his skin.

"I love you, Shiro."

Those words were getting easier to say.

Shiro wouldn’t have even seen it as unfair, had Keith let him simply use his imagination, to dream up what could have happened in that shower. It’s not like he didn’t _want_ to. But he had a respect for Krolia, and wanted to be presentable when she arrived. Not... moaning in the shower while fucking her son.

That might not be... the best impression.

Shiro’s smile returns with ease when Keith speaks more than just a one liner at him, and responded to him with a kiss to the bridge of his nose, in return for the one to his hand. He looked like he _loved_ small gestures like that, and it wouldn’t hurt to make them, from time to time. Keith tucked that small tidbit of information away for later use.

"I love you too, Keith. I do." Shiro smacked a soft kiss to Keith’s lips then, before he took a step back, and gestured for Keith to turn around. He had the hair tie he’d used from before around his wrist, and he figured getting the braid out of the way would be ideal.

"Now, lets see what this braid looks like when you’re all dressed up." Turning obediently, Keith rested his arms on his legs as he leaned forward, feeling like Cosmo was going to come back soon. The wolf had a particular aura he'd gotten used to, and he knew when to look for it.

"Three, two, one..." Keith said barely above a whisper, counting down. He didn't know if Shiro heard it, but perhaps it would be enough warning for the other before Cosmo appeared. He didn't move from his spot, merely leaning forward to allow Shiro further access to braid his hair, his head turning to regard the newcomers.

"Hey."

Shiro worked rather diligently to give Keith a braid, much like the one he’d had earlier, as the newcomers arrive. Cosmo of course is glad to see that both are well, a bag in his mouth, as he teleports in with Krolia.

Krolia, however, goes from unperturbed to absolutely unsettled. Why... was Shiro here? Sitting with her son as if he belonged there?

"Keith," she said, then glanced to Shiro with wariness. "Shiro. I’m surprised to see you here." Shiro looked up from the braid, and gave a warm smile before he looked back down and continued to focus.

"That’s a fair reaction. Keith, can you explain to her, while I do this?"

"He came from an alternate reality." Keith said, his voice strong... but soft. "When Allura sacrificed herself... she brought all of the realities back." He pressed his lips together, looking away, unable to meet his mother’s eyes. "... including the one I sacrificed myself in, in place of Allura."

Krolia’s eyes went from Shiro, and back to Keith, in an instant. Her gaze was hard, and her face unreadable, as Shiro had known well. But he was sure even knowing there’s a reality where he’s dead has a part of her heart aching.

"Where I’m from, he sacrificed himself, instead," Shiro echoed, focusing on the last of the braid, before he tied it up and let it go. It fell over Keith’s shoulder easily, completing the outfit in a very tasteful manner. "And I travel through realities to see what they’re like. This was the only one where things were so drastically different. Where him and I..."

Well, where they don’t even talk. Right?

"..." Krolia’s silence was deafening, as she stared to both of the boys, and let out a very deep breath. "... What are your motives for being here? For staying here?"

"Keith." Shiro answered, simply, as if it was obvious. "I don’t know what this Shiro is doing, but it’s not me. This isn’t a life I would want."

Lifting his hands as he listened to the conversation, Keith cradled the braid in between his fingers, smoothing over it gently.  He took great care to feel over what Shiro had done, but he didn't look at Krolia as he spoke.

"I have the memorial to go to, and was wondering if we had an extra suit for Shiro to wear."

Krolia stared between the both of them for a solid minute, before she exclusively looked at her son. "I’m not sure that’s the best idea. Anything could happen, and I’m not quite sure where what could come of the both of them being in the same place."

Shiro himself didn’t even think about that, but he should’ve. His expression faltered, and grew more serious, as he thought. "Maybe you’re right. I could just—"

"But, there are more than enough outfits for this Shiro to go disguised." Krolia interrupts, as if her train of thought never ceased. "Why do you want to bring him in the first place?"

Keith smiled bitterly, meeting her eyes now. "If I was to pursue Galra culture, it would be a claim. But I honestly... just want to see his face when he finds someone else's hands on me." Maybe then... he could move on.

Depending on his reaction. But of course, that probably wouldn’t be the end of it. Was that wrong of him, to want something so petty?

Shiro snorted just a little when he heard that statement from Keith. He found it amusing that he was going to try and make the Shiro of this reality jealous... by an alternate version of himself.

He doesn’t think it’s _wrong_ , but he does think it’s amusing.

"I won’t keep my hands off you, if that’s the case." Shiro chuckled, though cut it off when Krolia raised an eyebrow at him. "... Reasonably, of course. I’m not going to get _too_ handsy... I’m sure Pidge would make a face at the sight."

Though, he himself too, did want to see his alternate version’s reaction. So maybe he too... was on board for the pettiness. "When is this dinner anyway?"

"Next week." Keith clenched his fists, finally meeting his mother's eyes. "This was actually... going to be the last time I visited." He admitted, letting out a breath. It hurt too much to see Shiro like that, and he was going to give his regards -- to say goodbye a final time.

Krolia saw how much pain was in his face, and how taut his body was. She wished she could take that pain away, but seeing the way _this_ Shiro moved an arm around him, and pulled him into his space... she thought maybe he could help her son heal.

"You were never obligated to go in the first place, and being there for Allura was important. She meant a lot to everyone. But I don’t want you to force yourself to go another year if you don’t want to." Krolia moved over to the boys, and rested her hand on his head. "... Your hair looks nice like this."

"... they’d worry if I didn’t go." Keith murmured softly, relaxing under her hand. He took in a breath and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of the two by his side. And Cosmo, who pressed against his leg. "I love you." Keith said, staring at them. "All three of you."

"We love you too, Keith." Krolia murmured, kissing the top of her son’s head, before she turned to look at Shiro. Cosmo’s head nuzzled against Keith’s knee as she regarded the other man.

"What is it you’re here for, exactly? I get that you’re staying for my son, but... do you not have anything more in the world you’re from?"

Shiro deflated a little at the question, but his expression remained the same. "No. I have my friends, but they’ve all got their own lives, and I couldn’t stand them pitying me. I don’t like anyone feeling _sorry_ for me. So... I went out to travel on my own. Being without Keith didn’t make sense, so... I went out to see what realities we were happy together in." He paused, and looked away. "Which, is almost every single one. Except. For this one, and mine."

Krolia tilted her head to the side, mourning the Shiro that the one existing here could have been. She sees the Shiro she first met in this man, and looked to Keith, as if knowing that for certain. "Well, I approve of anything that makes Keith happy. Just so long as you don’t hurt him, I have no issue with this. We’re going to figure out an outfit for you, and you’re going to have to disguise yourself in public, but otherwise you will essentially be Shiro. Or if you’d like, Shiro 2.0."

Shiro snorted at that, and finally looked back. "I’d prefer just Shiro. But I guess I’d need a different alias around the others..."

Letting them talk, Keith clung to his hair as he fought the usual panic welling up in his chest that he got before the memorial visit. It was never a happy time for him, despite seeing old, good friends. It was always Shiro that made him anxious, Shiro’s smile that got him hot and bothered, and he could never be in the same room as the man for a lengthy amount of time —

His thoughts paused, hanging in the air like suspended crystals about to break. Keith forced himself away from the dangerous trail of thoughts, tilting his head at the suggestion of an alias. Amusement crossed his face as he looked at Krolia, fighting not to laugh. "We could call him Yorak." Huffing out a breath, Keith turned to look at Shiro, reaching up to run his fingers through the older man's hair. "Or Kuro."

"Kuro sounds nice." Krolia remarked, looking down to them both with a smile. "Continue on with the many ‘K’ names that we have running."

Cosmo whined.

"Except for you, Cosmo. But we can pretend." She leaned down and dug her fingers into his fur. He rumbled, saying something specifically to her, which caused her to grin.

"Yes, I know. He won’t." She looked to Shiro, and grinned. "He’s a good man."

Shiro couldn’t help but to think they probably said something about him, so he just smiled a little awkwardly, and rubbed the back of his neck. He leaned his head against Keith’s, and looked down to him as well, deciding to not question it.

"I’m just going to have to be your silent boyfriend, aren’t I?"

Keith glanced to Cosmo, a little put out that he hadn't been privy to what the space wolf had said. At the mention of a silent boyfriend, however, Keith turned red as he ducked his head down, palms spreading over his knees. "... boyfriend?"

Shiro stopped when Keith repeated what he said, and stares at him with a blank look, before understanding. He blushed, and looked to his bag on the chair. "Well, you know, I’ll be "pretending" to be someone close to you like _that,_ so... Yes?"

Keith deflated instantly. "... right. Pretending." It was the wrong thing to say.

Like a door shutting, Keith closed himself off both physically and mentally as he rose to his feet, moving to grab his bag. He opened it and grabbed Cosmo's brush and a few other things he'd taken out, shoulders taut with an aggression that this Shiro wasn't used to... but probably expected.

Shiro expected it the second the words tumbled out of his mouth. He'd meant it as in they were going to pretend in front of the others, to be someone he's not, so that the other Shiro got the impression that he's moved on to bigger and better things. Not... That he was pretending _this._

"You used to always take what I said the wrong way, too. Like now."

Keith stopped, his body tensing as he held his breath. He gripped the bag's straps as he stared at the wall, hot tears burning against his eyelids.

"Yeah, well. I'm not your Keith." He bit his lip. "I'm not _anyone's_ Keith." Without waiting for an answer to that, he walked out.

That was the first thing Shiro _didn’t_ expect. His eyes went wide as Keith walked out, and Shiro could not have felt guiltier. Krolia watched the scene unfold, before she glanced to Cosmo. She jerks her head to the door, and the wolf follows after Keith, with ease.

"Keith’s been through a lot. Trying to get over you has been the toughest thing for him. It was working for a while, but I think you’ve made a big dent in the sturdy wall he’d made for himself."

She turned, and moved to leave. She noticed instantly that Shiro didn’t follow, his eyes betraying him by showing her how upset he was from how that conversation ended. She huffed out a sigh and turned to face him again, her arms crossing over her chest.

"He’ll be fine in a few hours. I don’t think there’s any way he’d be able to ignore you when you’ve gotten a blades suit on."

Shiro seemed very uncertain about this, his lips forming a fine line as he stared at Krolia. But it’s soon wordlessly answered with him gathering his clothes off the floor, and also embarrassingly, the lube and condoms from this morning.

Well, at least Cosmo got them breakfast, right? That was a positive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We didn't realize that people would love this story so incredibly much, it's very much appreciated! We're enjoying writing it, and it really means a lot to have you all comment. It's kind of cathartic, knowing that something we're writing/roleplaying together has been so meaningful to so many people.
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> For those interested:  
> Fether plays Keith  
> xnoirxshiro plays Shiro  
> ♥


	3. so long sentiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharing memories, and a memorial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry early crimmus! a whole whopping 13k words, plus a few stragglers. you're welcome.

It didn't take long for Cosmo to catch up to Keith, since he had his teleportation — the wolf found him walking towards a high ledge to overlook the city they'd just helped, finding a spot of shade and sitting down in it. Keith slung his bag off of his shoulder and rummaged around in it before pulling out a device paired with earbuds, sliding them into his ears before turning his music on. After a moment of listening, he took one out and offered it to Cosmo in silence.

Every year, Pidge made him a small, portable thumb-sized chip of music filled with popular songs made on Earth, since he wasn't around to hear the majority of them. There were vast differences between the songs, since a lot of aliens lived on Earth now, but it was a small gesture of kindness that Keith never took for granted.

It was one thing he knew he'd miss, when he gave them the news of not intending to return, intending to make this his last reunion.

Cosmo curled up to his side, and laid his head in his lap as they relaxed where they were together. He tilted his head to the side, letting Keith put the earbud near his ear, so that he could listen to the music. His tail swished against the rock below them in a satisfied manner. He was comfortable here, and he didn't intend to get up anytime soon. And he knew Keith didn't, either.

It was a while until Shiro actually found him. Not that he had to search long, but he had other things he had to do before he could just go roaming about in public. This time, of course, he's not wearing the clothes Keith had last seen him in. Instead, he walked up behind the other, wearing the Blades uniform they had spoken about. 

"I knew I'd find you here." Shiro spoke loudly, the mask disintegrating and displaying his face underneath it. He took a few more steps forward to look down at Keith. Both of his arms... looked normal. They look like he doesn't have the Altean arm at all, and Keith would quickly come to the realization that this was some of the illusion technology Pidge had been talking extensively about, at one point or another.

"Is there room for one more?"

Keith grunted, not looking at him. "You can pretend to sit, if you want." He was still sour about their conversation before, but his tone lacked the vicious bite from earlier, sounding tired.

Finally shifting, Keith opened his mouth to say something else, but as he turned to look, his words died on his tongue.

How did the Blades outfit somehow look even better than imagined, on Shiro?

Krolia had been right — Shiro was drop dead gorgeous, and Keith couldn't ignore him.

Shiro let out the longest sigh one could possibly make, before he moves next to Keith, and sits beside him. He doesn't seem to notice the way Keith looks at him, far too serious about the conversation he was going to start, as he sits on the cool surface.

"I didn't mean it like that, Keith," Shiro started, his head bowing as he looked upon the busy city stretched out before them. "I'm not going to really be  _ me _ at this dinner, am I? So that's pretending. I'm pretending to be someone else, not pretending to be with you."

There's a pregnant pause, before his eyes wander back to him. He sees the reaction now, and looks a little confused. "Does that make sense?"

"... sure." It was obvious Keith wasn't really listening, his eyes wandering over Shiro's body, taking in every detail before his gaze wandered to his crotch—

"Keith."

Sucking in a breath, Keith ripped his eyes away and blushed, biting his lip as he stared at Shiro's face with wide eyes. "... mm?"

An eyebrow was raised, by the time Keith's eyes met his own. He couldn't keep a straight face, and ultimately lets out a quiet chuckle, as he gazes upon him knowingly. "I'm trying to apologize to you."

"... but you already did." Keith blinked, his ears turning red as he meant the  _ outfit _ , and he forcefully turned his head away as he crossed his legs.

Shiro had no chance of fighting back a blush at that answer. Keith had given him another once over again, and Shiro clearly got the picture of  _ why _ he was blushing. This thing clung to his body like crazy.   
  
"You're not going to be able to keep your hands off of me at that dinner party, are you?"

"No." Keith murmured, his jaw tense. He closed his eyes to force himself to stop looking, voice turning husky. "... I'm listening. What were you saying, Shiro."

The edges of his mouth curved up, whilst the corners of his eyes crinkled as he moved closer to Keith and ran the other's long braid between his pointer finger and his middle. "I don't think you're actually listening." He leaned in close now, cocking his head to the side as he stared at Keith. "Not to the apology, anyway..."

"Shut up." Keith sputtered, pulling away as he tried to bat away Shiro's hand. "That's not going to get you apology points."

_ Yes it would. _

"Are you sure it won’t?" Shiro asked with a bright grin, his hand letting the braid fall out of his light grasp completely, and allows it to cascade down like it had before. "I think it did, already."

"Shiro." Keith turned to stare at him now, his gaze heated. He  _ wanted _ to listen to him, but the man was making it  _ difficult _ .

"Yeah?" He innocently asked, head still tilted to the side like a puppy who’s seeking clarification. But he isn’t, which is why he laughs, and leans away. 

"You didn’t listen to me. That’s rude." He placed his hand on his chest. "I’m wounded."

"It's rude to be that  _ distracting _ ," Keith huffed, crossing his arms.

"It’s not my fault! You’re the one who said this needed to be my disguise. I’m starting to think it’s less because I had to, and more that you’ve always just wanted to see what it  _ looks _ like on me." Shiro laughed, leaning into Keith again, as his arm curled around him and pulled him close. "I love you, and your dirty mind."

Keith made a face, but he couldn't really argue. All he did was huff in reply to that, averting his eyes. "Tell me what you were saying before, or I'll..."

"You’ll... What?"

"... make you regret it." His voice was hushed now, and he still wouldn't look at Shiro.

"Wow,  _ alright. _ Make me regret it?" Shiro repeated in question form as he tilted his body back, staring down at Keith with the same half smirk on his face. "How’re you going to make me regret it?"

" _ Tell me _ ." Keith grumped, glaring at Shiro as his eyes focused on his face, that huffiness evident in his posture.

"Why?" Shiro asked, as his hand goes back to playing with the braid. "You didn’t hear me the first time, I can’t be sure if you’d want to listen a second time—"

"—  _ Takashi _ —" Shiro stopped. He hadn’t heard his name be  _ said _ like that in so long. Not just by Keith, but by  _ anyone _ . It made his heart skip a beat, and his entire facial expression changed as he stared at Keith. 

"I-I... Uhm. It was just. An apology, for... What I said earlier. The "pretending". I didn’t mean it like that."

Swallowing, Keith felt lost in that expression, his entire world turning upside down once more. "... okay." He hung his head, staring at the ground. "... sorry. That was... probably too forward—"

"N-No! It was great!" He exclaimed, rather too excitedly. He swallowed, and took a mental step back, before running his hand over his face. "I love you saying my name."

Keith was silent for a moment, closing his eyes as he secretly wished for the ground to swallow him up. Being with Shiro, like this, consumed him whole, and left him feeling as if he was both on fire and frostbitten, drowning in the abyss.

He didn't think he was strong enough for this. Not a second time. "... you're going to kill me, Shiro."

And technically, he almost did, once. 

That aged well, hadn’t it? Shiro bet that this world’s Shiro never even talked about that incident with him. The battle they had, that produced the scar on his cheek, that would forever be a reminder that even under Haggar’s control... he’d nearly killed Keith. 

He and his own Keith had made their peace with it. But he doesn’t think this Keith has. But maybe... that was a subject best saved for some time else.

"Hopefully not," He joked, instead, as his arm wrapped around Keith’s waist. "But perhaps just a little bit."

"You're going to consume me until there's nothing left," Keith said softly, leaning into him as he grasped the other's face, staring into it with a gaze so intense that it left him shivering. "I thought I got over you. I thought everything was fine... and then you come back and force yourself into my life again."

He was still shivering, unable to stop as he bit his lip, fighting with his emotions. How many times had he battled himself in his mind? How many times had he gone over this same conversation in his head, around and around in circles until he was left mentally battered and bruised?

It was apparent that he was trying to figure out what exactly to  _ say _ , and it didn't help that this Shiro wasn't the one that  _ hurt _ him.

Shiro was at a loss for what to say himself, when things turned far more serious than he ever expected it to. The joking smile is gone, and he was left staring down to Keith with wide eyes. He doesn’t move his head at all from Keith’s grasp, but now, he begins to look guilty.

"I told you that I wasn’t forcing myself in..." He finally responded, as quietly as Keith has ever heard Shiro speak. "I’m only staying here if you want me here. I think you do. You could be afraid of being left behind again but I’d never leave you alone."

"I'm  _ terrified _ , Shiro." Keith's fingers moved, sliding over the marks on Shiro's face. "I"ve wanted this for a long, long time. I keep wondering if this is something I'm going to wake up from... because it feels too good to be true."

"I promise that it’s not a dream." Shiro murmured, pulling Keith into his arms, on his  _ lap. _ He just wanted to comfort him, love him— wholly, and fully. "You’re going to be okay. I’ll never let you feel like you felt before, okay? I’m here for you. We can be a team. Us against the universe."

"Only because you don't have yours anymore." Keith felt bitter, the words welling up despite him not wanting them to. They came out like a torrent, breathless and unbidden, the deepest part of him seeping out like poison.

Despite that, he didn't move from Shiro's embrace, arms encircling around him as he clung to him like a lifeline.

Keith didn't think he could ever replace what Shiro had.

"Well... It’s true. The Keith from my universe is gone, but..." His lips purse to the side, as he tried to very carefully word what he wanted to say. He knew how Keith could misinterpret things that he says, and he didn’t want the other to get the wrong idea. At  _ all. _

"I’m not traveling to try and replace him. Nor am I using you as a replacement." His hand reached behind him and found one of Keith’s, and he intertwined their fingers together. His knuckles were white as he squeezed tightly, a frown etching into his features. "I want to make you happy, Keith. I sound like a broken record, but I do. That’s all I want for you. To feel happy, and loved. You don’t need protecting, but I want to do that, too. Please don’t think of this as you being a backup, because it’s... it’s nothing like that."

"Why me?" Keith asked, eyes wide as Shiro had his full attention. His hand felt like it was on fire, the contact between them searing, his body about to be consumed.

Keith was going to let it.

"Why  _ this _ universe? Surely, this... this can't be the worst—"

"It’s not, but it feels like it is," Shiro murmured, his thumb moving over the smooth skin on the top of Keith’s hand, before he gripped it again. He could never get enough of touching Keith, it seemed. "In a lot of the universes, I end up disappearing after the fight with Zarkon, but never returning. Either that’s because my essence was never brought into Black in the first place, or Allura never took me out. Both kinda hurt to see."

He rested his head against Keith’s, and sighed out quietly. "Others, Voltron just doesn’t exist. Therefore, that created a further divide in universes. Somewhere Altea and Daibazaal thrived, you were never born, and I ended up... marrying Adam." His face scrunched up at that, but he shook his head to rid it of those thoughts. "And whatever the other ones were, whatever ones held a different future than the one I was used to, I never visited. I never wanted to see the Galra get what they wanted. But I know that everyone perished for it. Even them."

He looked back to Keith finally, and gave the other a  _ very _ small smile.  _ "This _ is the universe closest to what mine had been, so I  _ know _ it, but I also don’t at the same time. That’s why this universe brought me in. It was almost exactly like mine, but there were differences. I embrace those differences, even if it’s... you know. Where I act the least like myself. I wish I knew why. But you— you’re  _ here _ . I’ve been looking for you. You’re the most  _ you _ there is. I wish I could’ve gotten here sooner, though. Maybe you wouldn’t be feeling as bad as you are if I had."

"Maybe we can find the answers together." Keith's voice broke as he closed his eyes, a burning sensation behind his eyelids. He was so tired of crying. "I—" He stopped, swallowing, his voice suddenly hoarse. He spoke in a whisper, unable to stop the tears from spilling over. "I was needed here. With my mom. With Cosmo." He reached out and dug his free hand into the space wolf's fur, glad that he was there. He turned off the music, setting his device aside as he shifted in Shiro's lap, head resting on his shoulder.

"Tell me more about your Keith. I want to hear it."

Cosmo had been quiet the whole time, observing eyes watching Shiro and Keith ever so closely. He was grateful for this Shiro, really, he was. He could see that while Keith was so guarded, he wanted this. He wanted anything, with this Shiro. He moved his nuzzle under Keith’s hand, nudging it gently to let Keith know that he was still there. Keith smiled at him, using both hands to smooth through the fur over his muzzle and forehead.

"You wanna know about him?" Shiro asked, surprise crossing over his features before it softened. "I don’t mind talking about him, though I forget some things, because it’s been... a while."

He glanced to Cosmo as the space wolf moved from Keith’s side, only to wrap himself behind Shiro, and rest his head on Keith’s lap as they sat there. Shiro smiled at the little gesture, looking to the blue wolf with a huff of a laugh. "I guess you want to learn, too?"

There was no answer. But his eyes boring into Shiro’s told him  **_yes._ **

"Okay. I can start off by saying he liked his coffee bitter, with the slightest hint of sugar. He hated country songs, loved the smell of fresh pine trees, and sung to his heart’s content when he was alone. Or— when he  _ thought _ he was." Shiro chuckled, and shook his head. "Ah... what else? He wasn’t much of a morning person, but he cooked breakfast like he was. His food was amazing— I looked forward to any meal he made. Him and Hunk were pretty good at that. Hm... he was a real jokester, too. Sometimes he’d flare his nostrils, and make a real aggressive look, before doing this,"

Shiro then proceeded to let go of Keith’s hand, just so he could push up the tip of his nose, and stuck out his tongue. He released the look with a laugh, as both hands settle at Keith’s waist. "It was endearing, to say the least. I loved him more for it, though."

Keith smiled sadly at the face Shiro made, pulling his head back to stare at him. His expression faltered as he drew in a breath. "... I hate country because it reminds me too much of dad," Keith said softly, closing his eyes. "There's certain songs he used to sing, and one song in particular he used to say that was him and mom's."

Keith looked away. It was a song he still couldn't listen to the entirety of.

"Yeah, I figured that would be the case," Shiro murmured softly, his hands rising to wrap further around Keith and hold him close. "And I never blamed you. I still won’t. Some things are better left unspoken than others." He looked sympathetically at Keith, and reached a hand up to brush some stray strands of hair out of his eyes. "I’m looking forward to getting to learn what’s different about you. I know I’ll still love you more than anything or anyone." He paused, and then smiled sheepishly. "I’m not the best at romance, but, I’ve always tried for you. I think this time I’ll have to try even harder, heh."

"... sorry I snapped earlier." Keith said, moving to rest his chin on Shiro's shoulder. He’d listened to the entirety of Shiro’s little speech, and found himself moved by it. "I'm... I haven't been okay for a while." He was full of rage and anger, something that drove some Galra onward. Living out of spite, really.

"I like fast food." Keith started to say, veering away from that topic so he didn't have to elaborate further. "Burgers and fries, especially. We used to go and hang out... at those places..."

"Fast food?" Shiro asked, taking the topic change for what it was, and not pressuring Keith to tell him more than he wanted to. But Keith knew, now, that if he wanted to— this Shiro would listen. "I love fast food, too. Though I think at this point, my stomach is a little sick of eating that 24/7.  So I’m trying to cut back on it a little." He moved to play with Keith’s braid again. "I won’t be able to maintain all these muscles if I’m eating three large cheeseburgers a day, right?"

Keith let him play with the braid, soothed by the soft gesture. He moved his hands to the small of Shiro's back, tracing circles there as he thought. "That's why you eat at different places, Shiro." Keith snorted, thinking the statement silly. "I do miss home cooked food, though."

"Listen, it’s just easier to get what you know you like." Shiro huffed out with a gentle smile, fondly watching the hair slide from his fingers. "I haven’t had home cooked food in so long." He paused to peer at Keith now, watching him curiously. "Do  _ you _ cook?"

"A-ah. No. Hunk is... way better at that." Even though he liked cooking, Keith pressed against Shiro in an embarrassed manner, not thinking too highly of his own cooking. He made a mental note to ask Hunk for pointers when he returned to Earth. The man was  _ insanely _ good at what he did, but Keith didn’t ever think he’d be a match for that.

"Well, that’s okay! I’m not great at it either. He used to laugh when I burned pancakes." He seemed embarrassed, lips pursing together as his eyes wandered to the sky. "I just couldn’t get the hang of it. I tried, though. I think I should at least get credit for that."

Reaching up with a hand, Keith pressed his palm against Shiro's cheeks, his smile warm and teasing. "I don't understand how you can burn pancakes. They're  _ easy _ ."

"They’re not as easy as you  _ think," _ Shiro said in retort, his lower lip poking out as he looked down to Keith. "I’m  _ really _ bad at cooking. No one expects me to be, but Hunk got a first hand look at it, and kicked me out of his kitchen. Permanently."

Keith stared at him before he let out a bark of laughter, and then doubled over as he  _ continued _ to laugh.

He couldn't catch his breath.

Shiro’s face fell into one expressing fake offense to his laughter, but there was no way to tell if he was truly insulted. One wouldn’t think so. "That’s not nice! Cooking’s a weak point!"

"Only— for  _ you _ —"

"That’s just mean, Keith." Shiro sulked, his hands and arms falling slack as he looked away. He got a deadpan look on his face, when he hears quiet chuffing. From Cosmo. "Not you  _ too." _

**_It’s one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a long time._ **

Coughing and trying to manage to breathe again, Keith snorted as he wrapped his arms around Shiro and hugged him, shoulders shaking as he pressed his face into Shiro's neck.

To him, it was  _ hilarious _ .

Shiro was quiet, rolling his eyes as he waited for them to calm themselves. Cosmo was the first to just stare at him, and stop his huffs, but he would have to wait a little longer for Keith. "You done yet?"

Keith stopped, staring at him as he pressed his lips together tightly, trying very hard not to laugh. "... do you... burn  _ eggs _ , too?" And then he lost it again, wheezing breathlessly.

"Okay," Shiro said, shaking his head as he began to move Keith from his lap. "That’s enough of that—"

Trying to cling to Shiro, Keith huffed as he couldn't stop laughing, letting out a whine. "Noooo I'm sorry—"

"I don't think you  _ are _ ," Shiro countered, but he's laughing anyway now, as he looked at Keith trying to remain in his lap. "Stop laughing at me and I'll consider letting you stay."

Keith  _ tried _ to look sheepish — he really did — but all he could do was bury his face into Shiro's chest as he attempted to calm down. Still laughing, of course.

Shiro's chest shook and his laughter rumbled from the bottom of his throat, whilst he tilted himself back and has his hand fix Keith's braid, curling it around his neck and over his shoulder.

"Anyway, Mr. Laughs-A-Lot, we gotta go. Don't make Krolia kill me on the first day."

"Alright." Keith said softly, huffing against Shiro's neck. He huffed a lot, but Shiro honestly found it adorable. "But you have to make it up to me on the ship. You said."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll make it up to you," Shiro leaned down and kissed the side of his head just as their forms shifted into a color similar to baby blue, Cosmo teleporting them all to the ship to make things easier. 

"I promised."

  
  
  


They stopped at a few more places before heading to Altea, Keith being not-so-subtle about how close he stood to Shiro when helping refugees as a stand-in Blade of Marmora. When he could, Keith made subtle gestures, like brushing his hip against Shiro's side when he was close, and light feather touches on the back of his neck when Shiro was bent over and otherwise occupied.

It was never noticed by the refugees they were helping, but he knew he got the better of Shiro when he saw the way the other’s body tightened, and the way that his grip loosened in shock on some of the supplies when he walked by.

Every single touch had the hairs on Shiro’s body standing on end, shivers running down his spine at the different ways Keith’s fingers crossed over his neck. He also liked the hip touches, that much was for certain. But he had to get his payback, for leaving him flustered after the last batch of stragglers.

Keith was enjoying himself far too much, so course, Shiro had to get his payback when they were alone, once their planetary errands had finished.

Currently, Keith was pressed against the wall of their ship as they left the last planet, his breath heavy as he made a low sound of complaint at how slow  _ Shiro _ was teasing him. It was a good thing the ship was on autopilot, because the only thing the two of them were paying attention to was each  _ other _ .

"Hmm," He hummed lowly into Keith’s ear at the wordless complaint, strands of hair tucked behind that ear as Shiro pressed his crotch against Keith’s clothed ass. The only thing that separated them was tough yet thin material. "Are you really going to complain about this, when you’ve been nudging and touching me all week? I think I’m allowed at least this much." His hands dipped down low, running over Keith’s own crotch, before they rise back up. "Besides, you knew this was what was going to happen, when you started this morning. I think you secretly like being teased like this."

"You're awful," Keith huffed, grinding back against him with a growl as he reached up, attempting to undo his zipper. He was only upset because the tables had been turned. It was more fun to be on the teasing side rather than  _ being _ teased.

He tried to turn his head to kiss the other, wanting to  _ close _ that contact.

While Shiro stopped his hand from undoing the zipper, he  _ does _ indulge Keith on one thing. He always allowed a soft kiss to happen, but that was the most of it, as Shiro’s hands held onto him and grind against his beautiful rear end.  "I never claimed to be good." Shiro breathed out against his neck in a murmur, a smirk on his face, before he let his free hand continue its exploration.

"Shi _ rooooo _ ." Keith groaned, twisting his hand in the other's grip as he bit his lower lip. His eyes and body were  _ begging _ for it, but Shiro wasn't relenting. He couldn’t stop from shivering at the way Shiro was  _ talking _ , as well as the sultry sound of his voice.

"Keeeith." He draws out, as his hand gripped tighter onto Keith’s, and grinds into him once again. At this point, Keith could just  _ feel _ that he was turned on, underneath that blade suit.

"T-Takashi,  _ please _ ." Keith finally begged, unable to stand it anymore. He wanted  _ more _ and the touches through the suit were driving him  _ mad _ .

Shiro  _ beamed _ against the skin on Keith’s neck, when he heard that stutter of his name. Shiro wanted to express his pleasure with the way Keith said his name, but refrained. He needed to learn a lesson, after all. "You want me to take the suit off of you, baby?"

" _ God _ yes," Keith replied, sagging against him as he tried to reach up again. "Please, Takashi—"

Shiro laughed then, good naturedly, as he grabbed the zipper for himself and began to tug it down. "Okay, okay, Keith. I’m taking it off..." The zipper hit right above the top of his ass, and his hands sneak onto the skin that’s revealed. He held Keith’s sides as he kissed the nape of his neck.  _ " _ I’ll continue  _ only _ if you promise you’re not going to touch me like the way you have been, while working."

"L-like what?" Keith asked innocently, his breath hitching as he reveled in the bare-skin touch Shiro was rewarding him with. "Don't deny you enjoyed it..."

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. You don’t know that for sure, do you?" Shiro asked, as his hands smooth down his back, before his eyes trained on the hair on his head.  "If you want me to keep touching you, you’re going to have to apologize."

Keith couldn't help but grin in reply to that, arching against Shiro, his body tense with want. "What, exactly, am I apologizing for?" He pulled his arms out of his suit, moving them back to grasp Shiro's hips positioned in just the right manner behind him.

"If you're talking about the way you twitched every time I touched you, or every nudge I gave you... no, I'm not sorry." His eyes were full of mischief and pride as he turned to grin at Shiro, twisting his body just enough so he could catch his lips with his own. "I'm not sorry when I drive you crazy. I'm  _ not _ sorry seeing you react to my every touch." He dragged his fingernails down Shiro's chest, letting out a long breath.

"Takashi," he moaned, lips trembling. "I think you like getting flustered,  _ baby _ ."

Shiro’s eyes narrowed some, in response to the grin that he’d gotten to his words. Unfortunately, what he  _ didn’t _ expect from these turn of events, was to have this all backfire on him. His Keith had done it, sure, but not like...  _ this. _

Shiro visibly swallowed as the hunger and want settled in his gaze upon the shorter man, only getting famished by the point the  _ pet name _ was uttered. He loved Keith’s fire so much, and he’d gladly burn to it always. 

He hummed in response to all of that, because clearly, judging by the blush growing on his cheeks... he’s easily flustered by it. Despite the hard act of teasing, and being successful with it for quite a few minutes, he broke from a simple rejection of what he wanted Keith to do. He thought it was hot.

Shiro inhaled a small breath, feeling his adoration for Keith swelling up in his chest, before he allowed the BoM suit to fall from Keith’s front upper half. It would be poor efforts to try and continue the act he had before, but he’d get better at it. Next time, he wouldn’t be so easy to break.

"You know, it’s not nice to do this to me," He commented, tone softer now, as his teeth grazed over the skin of Keith’s neck, and his hands find purchase on his hips. "I can’t resist you like this."

Keith grinned, bending slightly as he pressed back against Shiro, head arching back against his teeth. "That means I win," he whispered, voice heady with lust. Every touch of Shiro's was setting his skin on fire, and pre had soaked the inner parts of his legs as the suit slid down. He'd been wanting this for a  _ while _ , now.

"For now, maybe," Shiro murmured, his voice as soft as it had started out with. "But don't expect it to happen often." He bit down on Keith's exposed neck, as one arm wraps around him, and dips down into the suit that isn't exposed yet. He takes a hold of Keith's member, and feeling how hard and  _ wanting _ the man was for him, he couldn't help cockily smiling against Keith's neck.

"I think I've teased you enough all week, don't you think?" He asked as his fingers curled around the length and begin to agonizingly stroke along the shaft. Shiro kisses where he'd bitten, before he rested his chin on the other's shoulder.

"God, Shiro—" Keith groaned, hips bucking against his hand as he let out a groan. "I fucking  _ want _ you." He stuck out his tongue and swallowed. "I'll win next time, too, just you wait—"

"You  _ won't." _ Shiro said, his hand gripping the member, and squeezing it. He then rubbed his thumb over the tip, hungry eyes looking down to what he was doing. He continued the same motions from before, fingers curling tighter around the length, and pumping it once more. "I'll make sure you don't."

"Is that a challenge?" Keith raised his jaw defiantly, his grin bright, like a star threatening to burst. His grin faltered once Shiro began to move, eyes fluttering shut as he arched back against the other.

Damn it, he was  _ close _ .

"No," He answered, eyes darting to the side to look at Keith. His eyes were dark with his own wants and needs, but he doesn't stop. He only goes faster. "That's a  _ promise." _

Bending against Shiro, Keith bit his lip as he  _ came _ , legs tensing as he felt it course through him. He closed his eyes and felt his vision swim, breathing hard as he tried to regain his bearings. Shiro was absolutely pleased when he saw Keith’s face from this angle, always looking beautiful, and especially so when he comes into his hand. Shiro lightly praised him, as he kissed the nape of Keith’s neck. He was still very turned on, however. "Do you want me, still?"

"No." Keith said, just to be contrary. He stuck his tongue out, face scrunching up as his nose crinkled. "You were mean." Of  _ course _ he still wanted him.

"You call me giving you a handjob mean? I’m curious to know what you think is  _ nice. _ " Shiro laughed, though, and he turned Keith around now so that he could kiss him. He let it linger, before he looked down at Keith, and smiled with such adoration.

"Let’s take this to your room, and have some more fun before we get to Altea."

Huffing, Keith wrapped his arms around Shiro and leaned against him, legs tangled in his suit. "You made a mess and made me come before you." Breathing in, he kissed Shiro's pec. "That's mean."

"You see it as one way, I see it as another." Shiro chuckled amusedly, before he simply picked Keith up and brings him to the room they’d been sharing. He set Keith on the bed, and pulled off the rest of the suit, before he sat down next to Keith and kissed the other’s collarbone. "Either way, I don’t think it can be seen as mean." He mumbled, into the many kisses he’s trailing up from where he’d first kissed.

Letting out a soft sound, Keith moved his hands to tangle themselves in Shiro's hair, pulling his head towards him to kiss once more. He was thoroughly glad Shiro was spoiling him, but what about  _ Shiro _ ?

"Can I...?" Keith asked softly, sucking in a ragged breath as one hand slid down to ghost over his crotch.

Shiro’s eyes widened as he was pulled into a kiss, not expecting it, but the groan he made exhibits that he’s pleased with it. When Keith pulled away, his eyes were half lidded, and he’s gazing upon him just like he had minutes before. His eyes seemed to actually brighten at the idea of Keith suggesting to do something more, instead of simply getting right into fucking.

"Of course you can," He said, as his hand reached behind him, and pulled down the zipper. He left it only part way down— in case Keith wanted to do the rest. "I wouldn’t ever say no to that."

Keith reached out and pulled the zipper down completely, slowly pulling off his suit. He swallowed as his smile faded, anxiousness taking over as he pulled back and knelt down in front of Shiro, grasping his member firmly in his hand. "Tell me if I'm bad at this, okay?" Keith breathed in, and then deep-throated the man he loved.

"I—" He was completely cut off, when he had little time to react towards Keith’s actions. He didn’t expect Keith to just go  _ right _ for it, even  _ his _ Keith hadn’t done that. Though then again, he had been a little shit, and tried teasing him. He shivered, both from the memory, and the warm slick of Keith’s mouth enveloping him currently.

"God, Keith," He whispered, his hand smoothing out into the strands of the man’s hair, and brushing his bangs out of his face. He  _ had _ been about to say that he didn’t think Keith could be that bad at this, and he didn’t even have to, because he was  _ right. _

Keith took him in like his mouth was sculpted just to fit his dick in it— and that’s probably the dirtiest thought he’s had in years. His cock twitches from  _ that _ branching thought, and his fingers slowly curl to hold the strands in a light grip.    
  
"You’re so good..."

Keith's eyes shifted up to stare at Shiro for a long moment, his cheeks turning a dark red. He held onto the base tightly as he sucked on it, tongue pressing against the side of his shaft as he pulled up and flicked his tongue over the slit.

"I don't know what I'm doing." He breathed in, embarrassed, not even knowing if it was  _ good _ or not. Was he seriously just supposed to suck on it? Was that  _ it _ ?

Shiro seemed to blush his own hue of deep red, at the way Keith moved his tongue on him. No, it’s by no means professional, and Keith isn’t expected to be a pro. But Shiro would enjoy this because... It’s Keith. And he’s  _ trying. _ That’s more than Shiro would’ve ever asked for.

"I don’t think anyone really knows what to do the first time," Shiro chuckled, his fingers easing up with their hold, as his head tilts to the side. "But you just go with the flow. Do what you think feels right to do. If you need some guidance... I could always show you what to do, by doing this on  _ you." _

"... would you?" Keith asked, eyes wide. It was apparent that he didn't want to do this the  _ wrong _ way, and was willing to take pointers and ideas from it.

"I would." Shiro said with a gentle smile, as he reached out and cupped Keith’s cheek in his hand. "Would you want me to?"

Thumbing up the bottom of Shiro's dick, Keith tilted his head to the side as he closed his eyes partway, sucking on his lower lip. "... yes."

Shiro seemed to chuckle understandably at that, before he shifted himself off the bed to position himself in front of Keith. He got on his knees as if saying a prayer, before his tongue slid over the tip of Keith’s member with a slow glide.

"I’ll try to show you all I know. Okay?" He said, his hands grazing over Keith’s thighs before his one hand slid to the cock by his face, and began to stroke him gradually. He soon after brings Keith into his mouth, as his tongue ran over the bottom of the shaft.

As Shiro moved off of the bed, Keith shifted to sit on the edge, stretching his legs out so that Shiro had easier access. He trembled when Shiro used his tongue, groaning and leaning back slightly as he watched. "Oh. That's so  _ weird _ ..."

Shiro couldn’t help but to smile around the member in his mouth, eyes peering up to glance at Keith, just to see his facial expression. It was honestly rather cute, and he wanted to respond, but he decided against it. Instead, he closed his eyes and makes a show of displaying to Keith what he  _ could _ be doing with his tongue, while doing this.

"F-fuck, Shi- ro—" Keith moaned, toes curling as he trembled, raising his hand to his mouth. His teeth bit down on his fingers, and he stared with wide eyes at what Shiro was doing. "Please—" he begged, not wanting to come again before Shiro did. It was  _ wholly _ unfair.

Shiro’s eyes opened, when he heard the tone of voice in which Keith begged to him, a soft breath inhaling through his nose. He pulled away, and smiled brightly to him, something about it coming off as smug. "What is it, Keith?"

Keith stared at him, words caught in his throat. Every time Shiro spoke, he fell more and more in love with the man — from his sultry cadence to the way he carried himself, Keith had fallen years ago.

This Shiro was tearing down his walls one by one.

"I don't... want this." Keith finally spoke, his voice soft. He reached out and rested a palm against Shiro's cheek. "Not without you. It wouldn't be fair." Was his voice shaking? He couldn't tell anymore.

Whatever smugness had been in his smile was gone, his lips falling into a gentle smile, as he moved to sit back on the bed. He kissed Keith's shoulder, before he looked back to him, leaning into his space to watch him. "What would you want me to do, then?"

"I  _ liked _ that." Keith continued, eyes gazing into Shiro's. "But I don't want just... me."

"Keith," Shiro says, his head resting on Keith’s shoulder, as he watches him. "I need you to be a little more specific on that."

Keith blew out a breath through his nose, aggravation in his eyes before they softened for Shiro. "You keep... pleasuring me, but forgetting about yourself." Keith finally admitted, biting his lip as he averted his eyes. "I want  _ you _ to get pleasured, too. I'm just... not used to this."

"I’m not forgetting about myself," Shiro assured him, arms wrapping around his waist, as he continues to watch Keith. "I’m just enjoying the way you say my name when you’re like that, and the faces you make. That’s all." He smiled a smidge wider, before he pressed a quick kiss to Keith’s cheek. "Tell me what you want to do, and we’ll do it. We’ve got time before we arrive on Altea."

Keith tilted his head towards Shiro, pressing his lips together in thought as he furrowed his brows. "Shiro... what do  _ you _ want to do?"

It took a few moments for Shiro to actually think of what he wants to do. He himself was never a huge sex fan, until Keith came around and changed that up on him  _ completely. _ He'd always let Keith decide what they'd do, because Shiro had always been clueless and unsure of himself when it came to deciding. Much like how he was now.

It hadn't been because Keith wasn't letting him have a say— that wasn't the case at all. Keith always asked every single time what  _ Shiro _ wanted to do, but... Shiro just never knew the answer.

"... I... Uh." He blushed then, and bit on the skin inside of his mouth. "I want to... Make love to you?" In total honesty, he just wanted to make bite marks on Keith's neck that would be too hard to hide. Just so that the others would see them while they're at the dinner.

So that this world's Shiro knew Keith was  _ his. _

Keith smiled as his face lit up, a vibrant blush on his face as he squirmed. "... then make me scream your name." Lifting his hands, he pressed them against Shiro's cheeks as his ears became red. "Make me yours, Takashi."

Something in Shiro's eyes shifted at those words, and before he knew it himself, Shiro had Keith pinned to the bed below him, and their foreheads pressed together. "You don't have to tell me twice."

There was a smile growing over his face before he dipped his head down, and begins to nip and bite at Keith's bare neck. It was too empty for Shiro's liking, and judging by the way Keith made room for him to continue, he knew that thought would be agreed upon. He didn't stop until he saw a few purpled marks right below his jaw, taking that with satisfaction, and using the small window of a pause to consider if he wanted to make more.

"Tell me what you want me to do to you, Keith..." He whispered softly against the soft skin his lips were pressed to. "I'll do it all for you."

Letting out a guttural moan, Keith arched back against the bed as he tilted his head to the side, allowing Shiro to mark him. He knew that the marks would be seen later, and he made a mental note to complain about them when they were done.

He didn't mind, though.

Keith's eyes glinted as he let out a huff, biting his lower lip. "Do what you  _ want _ ." He wanted to see what Shiro was capable of. " _ Surprise _ me."

Shiro emitted a small chuckle before he pulled his head back. His eyes displayed how much he wanted this, wanted  _ Keith, _ so who was he to refuse that type of order?

"Alright. I'll do my best." He winked, the corners of his mouth unable to hide his smile before he let go of Keith's wrists. Shiro reached under the bed to successfully obtain the lube and condoms from the bag they kept them in, grunting as he returned back to the spot he'd been sitting in on his knees. He tore open a condom, promptly sliding it on before moving to spread Keith's legs apart. Making sure he was in a good position, he lathered a squirt of lube onto his fingers— the  _ Altean hand's _ fingers, afterwards. Only two, because the both of them combined made up enough for Shiro's actual dick size.

He started off with one finger before he brought in the other, both of them filling up and stretching Keith's tight entrance so beautifully. Just the sight of it alone has his heart beating rapidly, but he remains collected, and looks to Keith's face when he begins to slowly pump them in and out of the man. 

It could be sworn that there was a light vibration with their movements, too.

"O-oh  _ god _ Shiro—" Keith moaned, head turning to the side as his hips jerked, legs pressing together around his Altean hand. He  _ felt _ the vibrations, but couldn't comment on them, too enamoured by  _ what _ Shiro was doing with it. He opened his lavender eyes and stared at Shiro as he raised a hand, biting his own knuckles in a sultry manner.

"Shi— ro—"

"Yes, Keith," He encouraged, leaning around Keith's legs and forward, to see his face. The hand continued, pace quickening ever so slightly, and so do those vibrations. "You're so good, baby." Shiro kissed him then, a lingering kiss, that only deepened for a fraction of a second before he pulls an inch away. "How badly to you want me?"

About to say how much he needed him, Keith pressed his lips together and  _ denied _ Shiro the satisfaction, his eyes full of fire and pride. "Why don't you find out?" Keith smirked, head rolling back with ecstasy as he locked his legs around the metallic hand, thoroughly enjoying the feel of it.

"I  _ could," _ Shiro said, mirth in his eyes as the fingers  _ stopped _ and pull out of Keith. "But that wouldn't be as satisfying, would it?"

On the inside, Shiro was absolutely excited that Keith reacted that way. He'd always adored that  _ look _ in Keith's eyes, and hearing what he had just now brought back a slew of memories he didn't  _ really _ know he needed. He'd needed that type of answer.

"I think... You should tell me. Otherwise, I'll sit here edging you all the way to Altea, and leave this ship without a satisfactory end."

"How about you just let me ride you until we get to Altea?" Keith challenged, huffing as he let out a sound of disgruntlement at the fingers leaving. "Don't be cruel—"

Shiro’s eyes seem to give away the fact that he liked the sound of what Keith was suggesting. He tried to keep his cool demeanor, though, despite it being largely unsuccessful. "Is that what you want to do? That’d be far less cruel than what I was  _ going _ to do."

"And what were  _ you _ going to do?" Keith asked, moving to sit up and curl against Shiro.

"Well, I already told you, didn't I?" He chuckled, moving to lay on his back so that Keith could get on top of him. He knew Keith probably wasn't going to actually answer him in regards to telling him in what degree the other wanted him—  _ wants _ him. So he thinks this way is a little better.

There's a more salacious smile decorating his face. "I kind of want to see what you've suggested instead, though."

"You mean edging me?" Keith stared at him, not moving on top of him. Instead, he reached out his hand and gently traced over his bare stomach, sucking in a soft breath as his fingers slid over a nipple. "What a shame. I was looking forward to that."

"No one said it isn't in the back of my mind," Shiro said, hiding the shudder that wanted to thread through him, at the warm hand on his skin and over his chest. He still kept his composure. Barely. "It's just that now, that all depends on what you plan to do next."

"Mmhmm." Keith shifted his heated gaze towards Shiro, a soft smile pulling at his lips as he moved to curl up against his side, lips kissing his jaw very, very slowly.

"Takashi," he whispered, the word drawn out like a prayer.

"Keith," He murmured in return, though less like a prayer, and more akin to a note of a song he'd only heard once. His arm allowed Keith to fit into the space against him, the curves that Shiro was convinced was made for Keith to fit into. An eyebrow rose, and his head dips down, just enough to level his gaze on Keith's.

As if he could really ignore the way Keith said his name.

"... tell me more things." Keith moved to straddle him, making himself comfortable as he placed both palms on Shiro's stomach. For some reason, it made him happy to hear all the little gestures and mannerisms that the  _ other _ Keith had.

"More things?" Shiro asked as his hands found Keith's sides, holding onto them tightly. His thumbs lightly dig into the skin, but he's gentle, and caressing his sides with the utmost care. "What more would you want to know?"

"About your Keith," he clarified, shifting his hips forward as Shiro touched his sides. He was already hard, but wanted to prolong it as long as he could.

For now.

"Right," Shiro said, as if he knew what Keith had been referring to in the first place. "But, what else do you want to know? There’s gotta be something you want to know specifically, if you still want to know  _ more _ about him, than what I've already said."

Ceasing his movement, Keith looked away. "... nothing in particular." He was embarrassed, just wanting to hear things at random. Wanting to hear the differences and similarities between himself and the Keith that  _ this _ Shiro fell in love with. Shiro noticed the way he faltered, and only squeezed Keith's sides again before he continued the motion.

"Well," He started off with a small smile, his chin lifting as he strains to remember anything random. "He likes hippos. At Clear Day, everyone split off, and it was just me and him for the rest of the day. So we played a few games— and I won him a hippo plush. He kept that thing so close when we slept, it was honestly really cute."

He chuckled and shook his head, warmth flooding his chest as the image of Keith drooling over him and slightly onto the purple hippo crosses his mind. He likes the mental images that had been left behind for him to recall.

"He... also refused to wear his own clothes to bed. He'd only wear my shirts, or my pants, but never both. He always said he felt like he was swimming in them, so one or the other was fine enough. Despite that, he always insisted to wear something of mine— sometimes even during the day, too, when he  _ wasn't _ wearing paladin armor. Which, was rare, but that's why we got our old dog tags from the Garrison— so that it was something we could wear of each other's. Kind of cheesy, I know, but it meant a lot. It's why I still wear them."

"... those sounds like things I'd do." Keith said quietly, breathing in as he closed his eyes. "I've always liked hippos. Saw one at our Clear Day, but... never got the chance to win it. Went on a ride with Hunk, instead." He looked so incredibly sad at that, his body sagging.

"There's so many differences between us."

"Not too many," Shiro murmured,a hand reaching up to tuck a loose strand that hadn’t made it into the braid behind Keith’s ear. "I think that’s my fault." There was a light sigh, before Shiro’s hands fell. "I don’t know what happened in this world, but it had nothing to do with you. It just so happens... the Shiro here is blind."

"You keep saying that." Keith felt his eyes burn, and he turned his head away as his body tensed. "He doesn't look at me the way you do."

"I doubt he does, or else we wouldn’t be here right now." He said, smiling a little sadly as he looked up to Keith.

It was true, though. Had this world’s Shiro gotten with this Keith, they wouldn’t be on this very ship, and Shiro himself wouldn’t be here. He would’ve just continued traveling alone for... forever, probably. And nothing would’ve ever fulfilled him as much as Keith does right now. 

It’s only been a week but it felt like so much longer. 

"Everything I say is true, though.” Shiro echoed his thoughts. “I wish I knew which event it was that impacted the world so hard— enough for your relationship with the Shiro here to go downhill."

"Maybe we'll find that out soon." Keith smiled bitterly, still not looking at Shiro. "She changed a lot. Haggar, I mean. Honerva. We tried to stop her early but she was just always... one step ahead."

There was some uneasy feeling in his gut, at the admittance that yes, they would find out soon enough. He's not sure why he's feeling this. He wasn't nervous, was he? Maybe he was a little bit. He's never interacted with himself before. Who knew if that could cause problems for them? Granted, that's what the disguise is for, but... Shiro was good at worrying, but he was also good at planning.

He just hadn't planned for much of this, all week, too wrapped up in Keith to think of anything else. Maybe now that he's thinking about it, he gets what doubts Keith might have with him. Keith loves this world's Shiro— and really, all  _ he _ was giving him, was everything he ever wanted with Takashi Shirogane.

Idly too, he wondered if some day, he would love  _ him _ instead. But that felt too selfish to even wish for. "She was tricky," He agreed, now taking his turn to look away, and to the wall. "She was a step ahead of us a lot of the time, too. But she didn't get around to changing too much."

"... sorry." Keith said softly, moving to lay on top of Shiro and stretch out. "I ruined the mood, didn't I?" He couldn't help it — this Shiro was continually breaking his walls and making it difficult for him to keep up a facade that things were fine, when they really weren't.

Keith hadn't been okay for a long time, but hearing about his alternate Keith was  _ helping _ .

"No," Shiro responded hastily, as if worried he'd give Keith the wrong impression. "Not at all. I'd much rather you talk to me than to keep it bottled up to yourself. It's important to let your feelings be known."

He let his hands slide from Keith's sides, to rest on his back, his fingers lightly tracing up and down Keith's spine as he stretches out on top of him. Something about this felt nice, and if he ever has to let go of this one day too, he's not quite sure he can do it a second time.

"Talk to me, Keith. I'm here for you."

Keith pressed his lips together, staring down at Shiro with a wistful expression. He relaxed at the touch to his spine, legs sliding to either side of Shiro's body. "I loved you for a long time," he spoke, a shiver running down his body. "I always wondered why I was pushed away, when I finally admitted that I loved you." Keith paused, ducking his head down as tears slid down his cheeks. "And then  _ you _ came from wherever, right onto the planet I was helping. Tore down my walls with that heated kiss, looked at me with that look that I hadn't seen in years—"

He stared at Shiro with wide eyes. "I’m... having a hard time telling you two apart anymore." The memories were getting blurred together.

"I could imagine it would start getting a little... complicated." Shiro supplied unhelpfully, as his hands faltered above Keith's rear end, eyes staring up to the other. He'd been listening, of course, and while he usually has so much to say... he hesitated a moment, before he does utter a word at all.

"I mean, if it continues being so difficult, perhaps there can be some way to remedy the confusion. You could always... come back with me. To my reality. Or, I can dye my hair." He said with a small smile, but he's joking with that. The rest, however...  _ that _ he wasn't quite messing around about. He meant it, when he offered it, especially with the way Shiro's hands move again and he's attempting to console Keith.

Keith stopped, staring at him with wide eyes. "... you mean that?" He moved his hands up just slightly, turning his head so that he was eye to eye with the other.

His expression was serious, lips trembling as he whispered, "... you'd dye your hair for me?"

"Of all the things to focus on...  _ that’s _ what you took out of that?" He snickered, his emotions growing a little more lighter than what his thoughts had previously been. "But, of course, I’d dye it for you. Doesn’t mean it won’t wash out though, so it might get a weird look after a while. But I’d go back to black." Shiro huffed out, his hands stopping again.

"What if I wanted red? Or pink?" Keith huffed in return, his mood lightened.

"Oh, yeah, I can do that too. Why not pink  _ and _ red? And while we’re at it, orange too. Just have it a bunch of colors. It’d express how much of a colorful man I am." Shiro snorted, his hand beginning to play with the braid in Keith’s hair again.

"Or a rainbow just to scream to the universe how gay you are." Keith's expression softened as he pressed his lips against Shiro's lightly, eyes sad once more. "I don't want you to change your hair." He ran his fingers through it slowly, admiring the color. "I just wish you'd grow it out longer..."

Shiro got quite a kick out of that, his Altean hand coming up to cup his left pec as he laughed. He held it there for a solid few seconds, before he looked back up to Keith. He closed his eyes in response to the fingers in his hair, and sighed out. "You want me to grow it out longer? It’s already  _ kind of _ long..." For him it was, anyway. The floof in the front of his hair came down low enough.

"Yeah." Keith breathed in, sagging against Shiro as he closed his eyes. He reached up and tousled with the floof in a loving manner. "I'll... think about your offer. I just... need some time."

"That’s understandable." He said, completely fine with waiting for an answer. And even if Keith didn’t want to leave? He would stay here. He’d dye his hair (maybe), or he’d just... live with there being two of them here. If all went according to plan, there wouldn’t need to be any troubles with him staying here. "There’s no rush for an answer. But I think you’d be happy in my reality." He squinted his eyes as Keith played with his fringe. He supposed that was fair.

Keith was tired. He wasn't tired physically, but emotionally? He was drained. "I think I need sleep." Keith spoke softly, after a moment passed. He glanced down at Shiro's half-erection, then back to Shiro with a sheepish look. "Unless you wanted to fuck me until I passed out?" He sucked in a breath. "I just. Want to stop thinking so much."

Shiro could feel Keith’s own half hard member pressed against their stomachs, and he can’t help but to laugh a little. "You should rest. You haven’t been getting enough of it." He kissed Keith’s forehead, and soothingly began to stroke his back once more. Truthfully, neither one of them have been sleeping rather well. But Shiro was  _ used _ to that. He wanted to make sure Keith slept well for the little time they have before they get to Altea.  "I’ll make sure you’re awake."

"... so that's a no on sex?" Keith stuck out his tongue in amusement.

"For now." Shiro snorted, twirling the braid through his fingers. "We can make up for it later."

"Alright." Keith smiled, laying his head down on Shiro's chest. It wasn't long until sleep overcame him.

  
  
  


Keith woke hours later, in a complete panic. He'd been tossing and turning in his sleep, and once he woke, he flung his arms out in a panic before his hand pressed against his own cheek. He was still clinging onto the dregs of a nightmare, the memory of the much too hot blade threatening to press into his cheek, his strangled cry shouting into the air —

"Cosmo—" Keith sobbed, throwing out the word as a last-ditch effort when he saw Shiro's face, recoiling from it in horror. He didn't  _ used _ to be like that, but after the cold shoulder  _ his _ Shiro had given him…

It was his natural reaction, now, since they were no longer close.

Cosmo came to Keith’s aid instantly, not having needed the call out of his name to come running. It was apparent that the wolf was attuned to Keith’s nightmares, almost as if knowing and sensing them when they were happening.

He separated Shiro from Keith, and curls over Keith in a protective manner. He doesn’t say anything, but his legs moved over Keith, and his head rested against the other’s. 

**_It’s okay. This isn’t the same Shiro._ **

Shiro, naturally, had been awake trying to calm Keith down. He’d woken up from Keith’s rustling, and squirming, and the tiny sounds of distress he had been making made it obvious he was fighting something in his nightmare. 

Shiro could only guess what that could possibly be, but the biggest part of him is saying he doesn’t want to.

He let Cosmo take over, knowing the wolf would be of more help than he could be in this current situation.

Sobbing as he buried his face into Cosmo's furry neck, Keith wrapped his arms tightly around the space wolf and shook as he tried to calm himself, shaking from both the nightmare and the fact that he was completely unclothed. He took in deep gasps to try to regulate his breathing, but it wasn't working. It had been quite some time since Keith had had a nightmare, and the man had thought he'd been over it.

But the alternate Shiro had gotten close to Keith, affecting him in a way that no other could — and with it, his feelings long since buried.

Cosmo tilted his head when he felt a light weight over them, realizing that Shiro had gotten a blanket and put it over the both of them. There was nothing Shiro himself could really do, but he did sit nearby, worry written across his face. 

Cosmo knew he cared far more than the Shiro that inhabited this reality. He could see that clear as day. He just hoped that Keith could see it too, someday. 

**_Everything is okay._ ** Cosmo repeated this, but didn’t move, remaining for Keith’s emotional support. He always was, and Cosmo’s fur always provided lots of warmth and comfort.

It was a good hour or two before Keith moved, his face expressionless. His eyes, however, were full of torment and pain, glossy from tears unshed.

"... T'kashi?" He finally spoke, voice breaking. His tone was rough, still laden with sleep as he swallowed, clutching the blanket further around him. Keith was trying to separate the two Shiro's in his mind, trying to compartmentalize as best he could without breaking down again.

"Hey," Shiro answered as he came into view. This time, he’s got the blade suit on, and it very much hid his arm. It was one way to separate him from his double, and it even made him feel somewhat unique. "You okay?" He asked as he sat down on the bed, and Cosmo seemed to love him just as much for having not moved the entire time. Shiro patted him on his head, and he nuzzled into it.

"No." Keith said, not meeting his gaze. He was still staring at the floor, clutching to the blanket very, very tightly. "Just... don't move. Too much. I... need to get over this." It'd take a few moments, but it was apparent that Keith was trying very hard to calm himself down.

His eyes were still yellow, and fangs protruding slightly into his lower lip, but slowly and surely, the eye color was fading back into their normal white and lavender hues.

Keith let Cosmo do whatever he liked — Cosmo wasn't the problem.

Shiro was.

No. Not Shiro.  _ Himself. _

Shiro had tried not to move himself. Had even gone and gotten the bom suit’s mask so that his face wouldn’t be seen. His voice changed a little with the suit too, so he thought that maybe as long as he had this on, things would be fine.

He was sort of surprised this was still happening by the time the hour mark rolls around. He was going to have to figure out some other way to help Keith, or else... what good is he to him? "I... I won’t move. I won’t do anything unless you tell me to."

"... I'm sorry. It's me. Not you." Keith's words were slow as he breathed them out, fingers finding purchase in Cosmo's fur as he shifted back to sit. He closed his eyes and took another few moments for himself, shaking under the blanket.

"If you move slow... I'd really. Like a hug. From you."

It was progress.

Shiro was glad the mask wouldn’t be able to give away the many expression cues he has for his emotions, because that request had caught him off guard. He’d think the last thing Keith wanted from him right now was to be hugged.

But, with a nod, he moved forward and very slowly perched himself beside Keith, to wrap him up in a warm hug that Shiro tried to make as comforting as possible. 

"It’s okay. I know that... it’s me being here. You were getting over it before I came around." He laid his head on Keith’s shoulder, taking in a soft ragged breath. "I’m so sorry. I wish there was more I could do."

"You're already doing it." Keith said softly, breathing in shakily as he curled against Shiro. His eyes opened, and when he turned to stare at the other, all the yellow had dissipated.

Only his tiny little fangs remained, and they looked kind of adorable.

"Thank you, Takashi." His smile grew wry. "Er. Kuro. I should... get used to calling you that." He moved to press his head against Shiro's chest, arms tentatively moving to cling to the other.

He didn't want him to go.

At least his smile was hidden, when he saw Keith’s cute fangs. He loved them, really. It was an essential part of what made Keith...  _ Keith _ . Shiro was more than just smitten with him, right now. He wanted to shower him with affection, but, that could probably wait.

A hug was good right now.

"Heh, yeah, Kuro. That’s me. We’re going to be there in a few minutes, so, it might be good to get used to that." He moved a hand gradually over Keith’s back, in further attempts to calm him.

"I... have to get dressed." Keith winced at the thought, leaning into his hand. "Shit." He turned his gaze to Shiro — no,  _ Kuro _ — and sucked in a breath.

"Cosmo, can you help him dress me?" He didn't think he could move. All of his limbs were locked in place, and he felt like they were on fire. "It's... a bad one this time."

Cosmo didn’t even say anything before he moved from the two, and over to a bag that held Keith’s clothes. He fished out his nice clothes, as well as Keith’s favorite red, white and yellow jacket. He brought it over to the bed, and with  _ Kuro’s _ help, they both get Keith dressed.   
  
It isn’t but a few minutes until they’ve successfully got him dressed, and Kuro glanced over Keith to make sure he looked decent. Of course, he always thought Keith looked good, but he wanted to make sure his clothes matched, at least.

"You look great. Any complaints about the choice in clothes?"

"I. Uh. Was thinking Blade outfit, but. This works. This is fine." He wasn't coherent enough to say anything  _ while _ they were dressing him, still trying to get his thoughts in order. Using Kuro's help, he grasped the man's arm and stood up, letting out a breath.

He was so thankful for them both.

"I— Okay. You can just... be dressed nice. And I’ll be your bodyguard." He helped Keith stand, and only when he was sure Keith was okay to stand on his own, did Kuro move. 

Though, his movements falter, and he looked back to Keith. "I know that... We’ve had sex more than once already, but... I never asked you if. Well, if you wanted to date? And be my boyfriend?"

Keith blinked. "Oh. My god." Keith couldn't help it — he started to laugh, the laughter bubbling over until he was doubled over and breathless, arms wrapped around his waist tightly as if he could keep it in. Tears were running down his face, and he was sobbing and laughing at the timing and probability of it all.

Keith couldn’t see his face, but Kuro’s sagging shoulders and overall body posture gave away some embarrassment. Maybe he should’ve waited for a different time, but it’s so much nicer to hear Keith laugh than anything else. He sighed out quietly through his nose as Keith laughed, but there was the briefest smile underneath the disguise.

"Is that your answer? Laughing?" Kuro asked with a shake of his head, but there was amusement in his voice too. It had been an odd time to ask, but, well... Maybe he just wanted Keith to introduce him as his boyfriend, to the others.

Reaching out, Keith removed his mask and stared up into his eyes, breathing in warmly. "Yes, Takashi. That's my answer." He stuck out his tongue, feeling much calmer now that he'd had time to manage himself.

It seemed like the perfect time to kiss him.

Kuro’s smile was finally revealed once the mask was off, and his eyes held most of his warmth. His voice held the other half.

"I  _ hope _ that means it’s a yes, then." Kuro chuckled as his arms snaked around Keith’s thin waist, and held him tight against him. He indulged in a kiss, more than pleased to get one at all, right now.

"I  _ said _ it was—" Keith cried, snorting as he kissed him in return, arms sliding around Kuro's neck. Unfortunately, they had to put it on hold, due to entering Altea's atmosphere. Keith held up a hand and pressed it against Kuro's lips, expression coy. "Hold that thought."

"You said  _ laughing _ was—" Kuro laughed as Keith’s finger presses to his mouth, and he was unfortunately silenced. But he let a few chuckles escape as his shoulders shook with mirth. He pulled his head away and grasped Keith’s hand to kiss his knuckles instead. "I guess I can kiss you more, later. Upon many other things."

"Do you promise?" Keith asked with warm eyes, pupils large with interest as he stared at Kuro. He moved to press the mask against the other's face with a snort, pushing away from him smoothly as he moved to put the rest of his things on. Belt, knife, utility pouches…

"I promise." Kuro huffed out as the mask was placed back over his face. He didn’t mind it, but he definitely couldn't wait for when he could just have this off  _ completely. _

It wasn't long until they landed, and when the ship doors opened, he found someone already waiting for him.

"... Pidge?"

"Keith!" She rushed forward to tackle him in a tight hug, clinging to him like a  _ beetle _ . He laughed and mussed up her hair, letting out a soft breath as he hugged her back.

She was dressed in a baggy sweater that fit her in all the right places, and she’d had a  _ tiny _ growth spurt, but not enough to count for anything.

Kuro's smiling as he watched the two, him and Cosmo lagging behind, as they get off the ship. Him and the wolf share some sort of look, despite no one seeing Kuro's eyes, but it doesn't last long. Once Cosmo catches sight of Pidge, he's running over to the other paladin with a loud bark. It made him miss Comet's enthusiastic personality.

Once Pidge saw Cosmo, she jumped down from Keith and hugged the wolf tightly, laughing with joy. "Cosmo! Hey buddy! Long time no see!" Rubbing him behind the ears, she looked side to side before whispering something in his ear.

If Cosmo's tail wasn’t wagging before, it sure was now. Whatever it was that Pidge said to him had his tail rapidly swooshing to and fro, and like a bullet, he was off and out of sight. He ran up the steps to the large main building, just as Lance was coming out. Of course, he nearly toppled the man over, Lance's shout of "Whoa buddy!" being the only thing indicating that it had been a close call.

Lance held his chest as he watched Cosmo scamper off, and with a good-hearted chuckle, he moved out of the doors and traveled down the stairs. His smile when he saw his former leader was wide, and infectious. "Keith! I'm so glad you came!"

"Hey." Keith lifted a hand and waved to Lance, the corner of his lips pulling upwards into a smirk.

By this time, Pidge had stood up and was walking around Kuro, staring at him with a calculating eye. She was silent for a few moments, before speaking up. "You have a bodyguard?"

Keith froze, his expression becoming stoic. "... yeah. He... uh. He's. My boyfriend."

Pidge stopped, swiveling her gaze to stare at Keith.

**_"WHAT!?"_ ** Lance and Pidge had spoken at the same time, wide eyes staring from Keith, to Kuro, who... well, as any Blade had always been, was silent. But it was apparent that whoever this was, was kind enough to offer a bow of his head, as he steps forward and stands next to Keith. Kuro so badly wanted to put his hand on Keith's shoulder, but he refrained.

Lance was just gawking, still, and completely in awe. "Since when did  _ you _ have a boyfriend?!"

"Recently." Keith shrugged, moving to brush his unkempt braid behind his shoulder. It had gotten so much longer than when they'd seen it last, and it looked like he wouldn't be cutting it anytime soon.

"You know what this means." Pidge's gaze flashed at Lance. "We have to put him through  _ the test _ ."

Lance seemed to share that same gaze, and his eyes grew mischievous. "Oh my god.  That's  _ right. _ We haven't had to do this in a while!"

Oh no. Kuro knew those looks well. But of course, he has to play the part, so his head slowly tilts to the side as he stares at the other two.

" _ No _ ." Keith moved behind Kuro and pushed him forward, trying to avoid the two  _ troublemakers _ .

"You can't get out of this that easily~" Pidge sung, moving to follow.

"Definitely not that easy," Lance snickered as he moves up the stairs with the other two, his eyes on Kuro and Kuro alone. "Though, maybe we should be a little easy on the guy, yeah? Maybe we should just start off with questions."

He gave a wink to Keith, as if questions were going to be an easy thing to start off with.

"He doesn't have to talk to you," Keith said with irritation, grabbing Kuro's hand and holding it tightly. "You're only going to make things worse. Pidge, don't you have music for me?"   
  
"Yes!" She perked up and reached into her pockets, pulling out a new drive to plug into his music player. "Trade you~" Shoving the object expertly into Keith's hand, she grabbed Kuro's out of Keith's and dragged him in the opposite direction.

" _ Pidge _ —"

"Relax buddy!" Lance said, his hands smacking down on Keith's shoulders, as he smiled. "He's in good hands."

The only thing that Keith would be able to see before they rounded a corner was Kuro looking back at Keith. His face didn't need to be seen to know that there was alarm written in his body language. Keith frowned as he watched them zoom off with Kuro, sighing as he ran his hand through his hair, giving Lance a look that  _ clearly _ stated how done he was with their shenanigans already. His nerves were already frayed as he walked down the hall with Lance trailing silently behind, staring at the device in his hand.

He was curious what kind of music Pidge put together for him this year, and he let his mind wander until he stopped in place, hearing a familiar voice that made him  _ freeze _ .

There, standing at the middle of the hallway, was none other than  _ Shiro. _

Not the one that had just been zoomed off with Pidge against his will.

This one was dressed much nicer, and talking to Hunk, who was with Cosmo and giving him food as had been promised.. This Shiro  _ also _ noticed Keith instantly, when his and Lance's footsteps were heard down the hall. His eyes lit up as his mouth parted, but it soon closed as he tried composing himself. 

"Hello, Keith. It's been a while."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asjalsdjgk Thank you guys for the wonderful comments! They helped us BOTH get through the awful week and just. Ngh. Thank you. Thank you, so much. Every one of your comments is super appreciated and lifts our day at random moments.
> 
> We kind of hinted at a few things in the story, have you spotted them yet? :>
> 
> If we don't update before Christmas (which is not looking likely due to. y'know. holidays and junk), we both wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours. Remember to take care of yourself, too! I know a lot of us needed/need to do that, especially after this junk excuse of a Season.
> 
> Thank you again for being awesome. Feel free to hit us up on twitter! I try to update there often.  
> [Feth](https://twitter.com/fethaire)  
> [Noirx](https://twitter.com/noirxshirosk)


	4. louder than words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro meets Shiro, and dinner becomes a fiasco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter hurts. It hurts, and I cried, and I'm sorry.
> 
> (I'm not sorry.)

Keith's mouth went dry. He stared at the other with a (thankfully) stoic face, pocketing the device Pidge had given him.

"Shiro," he said in kind, tone devoid of emotion. He'd wanted time to  _ compose _ himself before seeing the man he'd fallen in love with for years,  _ been _ in love with for years, but it was too late for that now.

Lance and Hunk shared a look, and Cosmo seemed to read the situation easily. "... I'm gonna go after Pidge." Lance said, giving both a friendly yet awkward smile, before he took a few steps back... and then vanished down the way Pidge and Kuro had gone.

Hunk just stared... and then laughed a little. "Ah, I'll see you guys at dinner. I've got a few more things to help out with." He left Cosmo with a cookie before he stepped back into the kitchen doors. 

Shiro watched as the other two left, a frown settling on his face before he looked back to Keith. He had so many things to ask Keith about, but he decided for now, he wasn't going to talk about them. "How have you been?"

Moving closer to the space wolf, Keith dug his fingers into Cosmo's fur as he inhaled sharply. He took a moment to reply, his nerves screaming at him to run and escape the situation, but the logical part of his brain told him that that would do no good in this current moment in time. Running meant that the problem wouldn't fix itself, and just prolong the event until a later time. Keith didn't want to deal with  _ later _ , even though he didn't want to deal with it now, either. "Fine. I'm just fine."

Shiro watched Keith quietly, his eyes settling on Cosmo soon after, who he sees is watching  _ him _ right back. Somehow, Shiro got the picture, and looked away with a rather troubled look flitting over his gaze. It didn't last too long. Crossing his arms, he glanced through the doors Hunk had went through, his fingers tightening around his biceps. "I'm... glad to hear that, Keith."

He felt he was to blame for how hard it was to talk to someone who was his best friend at one point. Because right now... Right now it was  _ agonizingly _ hard to. And it never used to be.

"Uh... Anything new going on? All the Blades stuff going okay?"

"Yeah." Keith paused, purple eyes shifting down for just a moment in thought. "You'll meet one of the Blades close to me. He'll be at the dinner tonight." Keith said in a factly tone, only glancing to Shiro for a fraction of a second. He focused on Cosmo's ear right after, rubbing it very gently between his fingers. It was a welcome distraction from the conversation he really didn't want to have.

"Oh— that's great. I'd be honored to meet him." Shiro said, trying a small smile, but it didn't exactly reach the corners of his eyes. He gazed to Cosmo, who's being all cuddly with Keith, which is nothing new. It had just been cute. But he was curious about whoever this person was that Keith had brought with.  "What's his name? Would I know him?"

"Maybe." Keith's eyes warmed as he thought of Kuro, letting out a soft breath as he frowned. He didn't speak Kuro's name, deciding to just leave the conversation as it was. The less information Shiro knew, the better. "I should really go check on him, though. He was dragged off by Pidge, for god knows what." He started to walk away. "I'll see you at dinner, Shiro."

Not once did he ask how Shiro was. It hurt too much.

"Oh— yeah. You might want to save him then, if he's not already dead." Shiro huffs out a quiet laugh, but hearing Keith's departing words, he gives a small motioned wave. "See you then, Keith." 

He watched Cosmo linger where he was, his wolfish gaze intent on Shiro, before he turned and walked off in the same direction of Keith. It was only when the two of them were out of sight that he rubbed his face with his hands, letting out a long sigh.

It was going to be a long night already.

Keith didn't have to say anything to Cosmo; he never did, considering their telepathic link and how closely they were connected by their emotions and wanted thoughts. They flashed into his old room, and Keith made himself comfortable before pulling out his music player, plugging in the new playlist Pidge had made for him.

Kuro, he knew, would be fine. They would love him without knowing. He was sure of that.

Pressing one earbud into his ear, he offered the other to Cosmo as per tradition, stretching out his legs on his old bed so Cosmo could flop on them. Once he was snuggled with his cosmic wolf from the stars, he closed his eyes and lost himself to the music, attempting to relax a couple of hours before dinner.

It was going to be a long night for all of them.

  
  


"So what's your favorite color?" 

Kuro stared at Lance when he's given that question. Lance can't tell what it is the man's thinking, nor can he see his face to read an emotion, but the way Kuro's head is turned and staring at him gave Lance the impression that it was a stupid question. 

"Geez, alright," Lance said, backing off with a cross of his arms. "I was just starting you off  _ easy. _ There's harder questions then that, so I hope you're ready for 'em."

Pidge had watched him ever since Keith had landed. He hadn't spoken a word, so Pidge had a theory. "Maybe he's mute." It wouldn't surprise her, knowing Keith. She rummaged around until she found some pieces of paper and crayons mixed with pens, setting them all in front of Kuro. "Here we go. This will help." She seemed proud of herself as she sat down, watching him intently, curious about learning new things about this Blade they'd never seen before. "First test. Tell us how you met Keith."

Kuro watched as Pidge put paper and crayons in front of him, and honestly was rather glad they couldn't see the smile that spread across his face. She was too nice, and her inquisitive expression filled him with both pride and a pang of sadness as he missed his  _ own _ Pidge.

They were very much alike, with subtle differences.

"Or, maybe he just doesn't want to talk to us," Lance said, leaning on the same table Kuro was now hunched over, giving them their answer in crayon form. "We  _ are _ a little crazy. I wouldn't really blame him."

"Just you, Lance.  _ I'm _ perfectly sane. This is scientific."

"Wow. That's just really mean." Lance frowned, blowing a raspberry in her direction, before Kuro turned the paper around, and pushed it towards the other two.

_ We met during one of Keith's humanitarian relief missions. I got assigned to the same planet and we've been working together ever since. _

Kuro liked to pride himself with his story making skills. It's how he was so good at  _ that _ portion of Monsters and Mana. And, it was half true. He  _ had _ been working alongside Keith since he got here. So it wasn't  _ technically _ lying.

Pidge snorted, taking the paper and reading it. "I was expecting like... drawings or something." She seemed only a  _ little _ disappointed, but she held the paper out to Lance.

"He writes better than you do." Pidge was on a  _ roll _ .

Pidge: 2. Lance: Nada.

"Okay, now you're just being rude." Lance snatched the paper out of Pidge's hands, before he pushed it back to Kuro. 

"Maybe he's not a good artist?" Lance wondered out loud, before pondering the next question they should ask. "What's something you like? And no, don't say Keith. That's a cheating answer."

Kuro sat with his hands on the table for a long moment, before he dipped his head down, and wrote. Except this time, he drew. Rather crappily, but it's a cute emoji face with a finger over its mouth.

"You're just too easy, Lance." Pidge snorted, eyes staring at the drawing. "Secret?" She stared at him, crossing her arms. "Not an answer." Moving over, she grabbed a bowl of what looked to be  _ hot peppers _ , grinning as she loomed over him.

"For everything you don't answer, you have to eat one of these." Her grin was  _ terrifying _ .

Kuro looked from his drawing, to Pidge, and then back to his drawing once again. There was a sigh, before he took the paper back, and wrote something below the picture.

_ It was meant to signify silence. I like silence. _

"Oh!" Pidge blinked, smiling at the answer as she showed Lance. "Maybe you should take some pointers."

"Okay, I'm leaving!" Lance said, standing up. But as he did, there was a little snort from Kuro, which had Lance turning around and glaring at him.

"You think that's funny?!" He exclaimed, earning an easy nod from Kuro.

"It's your turn for the next question, Lance." Pidge stated. Even though it wasn't... she wanted him to stay, missing that particular banter between them. It brought out Lance's old self, and she found that more often than not, the guy just  _ needed _ it. They all missed Allura, but Lance took it the hardest of them all.

"I just gave the guy one." Lance said, and after a moment of looking between the other two, he sat back down and rested his hand on his face. "Fine. What do you think about mullet?" There was a pause, and then Lance laughed. "I guess it's not really a mullet anymore though, is it?"

He puffed out a light breath of air before he rephrased his question. "What do you think about Keith?"

At this question, Kuro actually took the time to think. He flipped the page over, so that he had some room to write. He wasn't a huge romantic, that much was true, but he could say some wonderful things.

_ I think he's very intelligent. He's quick on his feet, he's guarded, but he's really very sweet at heart. I like his eyes, and his hair, and, _ He pauses then, gloved fingers wiggling, before he wrote more.  _ The faces he makes when he's frustrated. It's really endearing, unfortunately for him. _

Pidge whistled as she read the answer as he wrote. "Wow, Lance. I think he's in love with our fearless leader." Her nose wrinkled as she smiled, face warm. "It sounds like our Keith to a T. That's adorable." She squirreled the paper away as her attention turned to a new piece of paper.

"Okay, serious question time.  _ What's your favorite food? _ "

_ Oh, no. _ Kuro couldn't answer that. It was always hard for him to pick a favorite food, and even if he lied, he'd feel bad for doing so. Even if... he's lying about who he is right now. But that's different.

He didn't write anything down with the crayon.

Pidge tilted her head, pushing the bowl of peppers forward. "If you're not gonna answer, you'll have to eat one of our dangerous  _ EARTH PEPPERS _ ." She wiggled her fingers menacingly.

Kuro's head tilted down at the peppers. He was never one for spicy things— sweet things were always his favorite. But if he gave away how much of a sweet tooth he had, they'd get suspicious. His fingers twitched, as he tried to decide what to do. Does he just lie, or does he just take a pepper to eat later? 

"What's going on in here?"

Kuro's head shot up when he heard  _ Shiro's _ voice entering the room. It was nice that he got out of the question for now, but he... he didn't expect him to be in here, of all places—  _ why this? _

Pidge beamed. "Hey Shiro. We're just interrogating Keith's boyfriend here." She nudged Lance gently, noticing the guy was drifting off. "He wasn't answering what his favorite food was, so the spicy pepper was a punishment."

"Ah, the old pepper threat. I remember when you did that to Curtis." Shiro chuckleed, and Kuro's never felt so foreign in a reality that isn't his, than he does right now. 

"Yeah, well, the guy isn't much of a  _ talker. _ So the pepper was going to come up eventually." Lance smirks, nudging Pidge back, in a playful manner. "What're you—"

"Wait," Shiro said suddely, stopping mid-step towards them. It must've only just clicked with what Pidge had said. "... boyfriend? I thought he was just someone Keith worked close with."

Lance moved away from Pidge, but shared a look with her.

"No... Keith said boyfriend." Pidge frowned at Lance in silent agreement that this situation was the opposite of ideal, crossing her arms. She leveled a gaze at Shiro, not saying a word... but her expression said it all.

Keith and Shiro didn't talk anymore.

Lance tapped his fingers against the table in front of him, mouth pulling to the side in awkwardness, but he didn't say a word. It was hard for him to, when he cared very much for both of his friends.

Especially considering Shiro's circumstances right now.

"Ah... well, okay." He turned to look at Kuro, and held out a hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Shiro."

"I'm pretty sure he knows who you are, man," Lance comments softly, and Shiro levels a look at him that Lance raised his hands in response to. 

Kuro stared at Shiro's hand, before he tentatively reached out, and shook it. They were both using their human hands, whether they realized that or not, and their grips mimicked each other to a specific extent that left Shiro surprised.

"Strong— but I guess that's expected from someone who's Galra." Shiro laughed, letting go and instantly slapping his hand to the back of his neck.

Pidge blew out an exasperated sigh as she rolled her eyes, glad that the situation seemed to diffuse itself before it got even more tense. "Okay, Shiro. Do you have any questions for him?" He leveled her gaze on Kuro. "What's your name, anyway?"

Kuro shifted a glance between Shiro and Pidge, before he looked down to the page and began writing again.  _ Kuro. _

"Huh. Kuro. We kind of have the same handwriting." Shiro laughed, studying over the written words, and then the little image that he'd drawn, as well. Kuro was tense as he sat next to Shiro, because he hadn't even  _ thought _ about that. "Is that supposed to mean silence?"

Kuro gave a nod, and Shiro looked to the man sitting down. He sat down next to him, and gave a friendly smile. "Great minds think alike, then. I would've drawn the same."

As far as Kuro could tell, there was no suspicion. Which, he thinks, is great. He didn't want this dinner becoming awkward— at  _ all. _

"Not much of a talker?" He asked, and Kuro shook his head. No, he wasn't— at least, as far as everyone else was concerned. Shiro nodded as if he knew why, as he leaned into his seat. "Alright, that's okay. We're a wild bunch. Especially these two." He jerks a thumb at Pidge and Lance, but it was all in good spirits. Pidge and Lance grinned in what they hoped was a reassuring manner. "As for a question... hm."

Shiro's lips pulled to one side, and he stared up as if he'd get an answer from somewhere else in the universe. "Ah, okay. Got it. Sorry if this one's been asked, but, where are you from?"

Of course he would ask that.

Kuro swallowed and looked back to the paper, staring at it for a very long time. Shiro's face showed concern, then, and he tried to give a supportive smile. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. Just trying to get to know who Keith's boyfriend is a little better."

Kuro couldn't see why Shiro would care. But maybe there was... a part of this Shiro that loved Keith, still. There was a sigh from Kuro, before he ducked his head down and began to write once more.

_ I originated from a planet a few quintants away. Plezor. Few Galra inhabit it, and I was amongst the few for a long time. I moved to Daibazaal when there was a chance to, but I've always been out and about. I've never called one place home. _

"That's so sad." Pidge said as she read it, giving Shiro a look. She was unhappy with that question, and it showed. "At least  _ our _ questions were intruding in a  _ fun _ way." She nudged Lance to help her out.

"Hey, I didn't think it would be intrusive in a bad way!" Shiro tried to defend himself, and Lance simply shook his head. 

"You could've at least asked what his favorite animal is, or something! No need to go so  _ deep." _ Lance moved over to Kuro and Shiro, and patted Kuro gently on the back. "It's okay buddy, Shiro won't hurt you with any more questions." There was a snort from Kuro, and he shook his head in reply to the statement. He picked up a crayon, and wrote down a sentence.

_ I'm not sad about it. I like being out. But Keith makes it better. He's my home. _

"Awww... That's so sweet." Lance held the side of his face as he read the words Kuro wrote.

"Wow." Pidge blushed a small bit, frowning in thought as she held her own cheek, mirroring Lance without realizing it. This level of intimacy was really  _ getting _ to her.

"How long have you two been dating? Things sound pretty serious." She didn't look at Shiro at all as she spoke, and it wasn't clear if that was a saving grace or not.

_ A couple of months. _ He wrote down as his head tilted to the side. Well, he didn't like not telling the truth, but he's already this far into the story. He might as well continue. Though a glance at Shiro told him maybe he shouldn't. The man's jaw was tight, and his eyes were boring into the crayon on the paper in front of him. But of course, Kuro continued anyway.

_ We've just been keeping it to ourselves. _

"Wow. I knew Keith was private about his life but I didn't think he was  _ that _ private." Lance murmured, tilting his head to the side with a rise and fall of his shoulders. "As long as you two are happy... that's real nice."

"Is there anything you're allergic to?" Pidge piped up, staring at Kuro curiously. "Any foods you  _ don't _ like? I assume you're joining us for dinner." Moving closer to Shiro, she nudged his side gently — a gesture telling him to  _ calm down _ .

It was a shame it wasn't Keith doing that same gesture.

Shiro gave her a small thankful look before he looked away from the page, and over to a wall. He'd listen in, but it was clear that his own attempts to learn about the man was nothing but trouble. 

_ I am allergic to peanuts. And I don't like anything incredibly greasy. But otherwise, I'm not a picky eater. And yes, I am joining for dinner. I hope that's alright. _

Kuro looked up from the paper, seeing the look on Shiro's face and feeling a pang of guilt. Why was  _ he _ feeling guilty? This Shiro is the one who didn't marry Keith, right? So what was he all fussed up about?

"Allergic to peanuts? Ugh." Pidge stood and thrust the page at Lance. "Hey. Go make sure Hunk  _ knows _ about this." She knew he could run fast, and the sooner Hunk knew about this, the sooner they could make sure dinner was  _ saved _ .

With a mock salute, Lance was off, sprinting out the door rather hastily. Not just to make sure Hunk got the message, but because he didn't want to sit there with a sad-faced Shiro. Shiro moved to stand up, however, and rubbed his eyes. "I'm going to go take a nap before dinner. Have someone come and get me, will you?" He looked to Pidge.

"Alright." Pidge frowned, shoulders slumping as she gripped his shirt... and then let go. She wasn't going to press the issue.

"It was nice meeting you, Kuro. I'm looking forward to seeing you at dinner." He gave a warm smile, ruffling Pidge's hair before he moved out of the room. Kuro's shoulders fell considerably, his head turned as he clearly watched the man as he left the room.

Pidge didn't notice the way Kuro reacted, her attention all on Shiro. She rubbed the back of her neck as she let out a long sigh, turning back to Kuro. "I think you're good." Reaching out, she collected the papers — even the ones he'd drawn on — and tucked them into her arms. "We'll have dinner under Allura's statue. I'm fairly sure you know who she is, so..." She smiled gently. "Looking forward to seeing you there, Kuro."

With that said, she started to move out of the room. Rubbing her eyes to try to will away the tears that threatened to spill, Pidge trounced down the hall to find Hunk and Lance.

Kuro watched Pidge get up, and even though he didn't want to be left alone, he gave a nod to her in response to her being so kind to him, not commenting on her state. And as she left, he waved to her.

Being around this group made him miss  _ his _ group. It made him miss Allura, too. No reality was great, was it?

  
*******

 

Keith moved with Cosmo to the table, being one of the first ones to sit down at it. He turned his body to stare at the statue of Allura in quiet contemplation. In Kuro's reality... she was alive, while he wasn't.

How easy would it have been to switch places, had he the thought to?

"It's still pretty even after all these years, right?" Lance commented, announcing his own arrival to the table as he stepped up to his usual seat. There was an extra seat between him and where Keith would sit, a spot notably reserved for Kuro. "I don't think it does her enough justice, but it captures enough of her beauty at least..."

"... we all miss her, but I'm sure you miss her the most. Just in a different way." Keith said softly, shifting his gaze to look at Lance. He allowed himself a small smile, rubbing behind Cosmo's ear as a reassuring gesture for himself. "How's the year been for you, Lance?"

"Ah— Yeah." Lance agreed, his gaze lowering from the statue and down to his hands in his lap. Cosmo leaned into Keith's hands, but he also remained close enough to Lance for the other man to pet him if he wanted to. And he did, his hand finding purchase behind Cosmo's other ear, so he got double the pets.

"My year's been okay. Same old same old. Helping the family farm, helping here on Altea, I'm always suuuper busy." He laughs, the smile quickly settling, as he look off to the sun that's slowly setting. "Being busy makes it easier most days."

"I can agree with that." Keith said softly, giving Lance a sad look. He couldn't really say much else — his was different, but the same kind of feelings. They'd all kind of given up on their dreams, hadn't they? Things just weren't the same as they used to be.

"Yeah." Lance looked right back to Keith with a somber expression of his own. Thankfully, the conversation dropped there, as Kuro arrived. There was no plate at his chair, but that had probably been his own doing. No eating. He'd eat later.

He gave a friendly wave to Lance, before he sat down in his chair. Lance returned the gesture as he leaned back in his own chair, watching Kuro sit down and interact with Cosmo by scratching under his chin, the wolf happily rumbling under his palm. He  _ loved _ it.

"Cosmo loves him." Keith let out a soft laugh. "Tried to shove him off the bed the first night, though. Kuro was totally jealous." He gave a look to Kuro, a challenging glint in his eyes.

Kuro's head lifted, as Keith automatically knew a look was being given. They don't talk about that night, but Cosmo was very amused at the thought of it. There's a gruff bark from Cosmo, and Kuro could only roll his eyes. This dog would be the death of him. 

Pidge snickered as she heard the conversation. "It doesn't surprise me. Look what he drew earlier. Figured you'd want to keep it, for posterity sake." She slid forward a hand-bound book, full of the drawings that  _ Kuro _ had drawn, as well as what he'd written out.

There were others, including crayon drawings that Lance did, as well as a few other of Keith's friends.

Kuro's attention is pulled to Pidge when she mentions drawings and— oh god. If they could see the look on Kuro's face right now, they'd be laughing. Maybe the frantic way he reached for it would be enough, but Lance snatched it up before he could actually get a hold on it.

"Aha! No you don't, you're not getting rid of these masterpieces. Keith, take a look at these." Lance snickered, showing Keith some of the little drawings that had been made. The words around them are probably cuter, though.

Keith leaned over, his expression looking absolutely  _ delighted _ . "Kuro... drew these?" He reached forward and took the book, flipping through it slowly as he admired every page.

It was apparent that he appreciated it thoroughly.

Pidge was staring at Kuro with a  _ very _ smug expression. " _ That's _ for not eating the peppers."

Kuro was surprised by the way Keith actually  _ liked _ what he drew, and the way his head turned from the group made it apparent that he was bashful about it. "Aww, he's embarrassed! It's okay, Kuro. Your drawings are great. Aren't they Pidge?" He smirked, watching the other three, as Hunk, Shiro, and Coran arrived, climbing up the stairs.

"They're actually really cute." Pidge beamed. "They're a touch better than Shiro's." She turned as Shiro entered, smirking. "No offense." Keith snorted in reply to her comment, moving to rest his hand on top of Kuro's.

"Oh! Are you two engaged?" Coran asked, oblivious to what had gone on before. "You've courted, right? That's what humans do when they hold hands?" Pidge went white, shifting her eyes to look at Shiro.

Kuro had intertwined their fingers easily, in a subtle way, but of course Coran was lively and blowing something  _ way _ out of proportion. Kuro turned to Keith in alarm, as Shiro stood still right where he was, turning to look at both Keith and Kuro. Lance and Hunk seemed to share a very apprehensive look.

"... yeah. We were talking about it." Keith stared at their hands, not moving. Coran looked absolutely  _ delighted _ . Kuro squeezed Keith's hand a little more, but of course, there was nothing he could say.  _ Literally _ nothing that he could say, in this instance. 

Shiro seemed to be in another world, a completely different reaction than what Coran had. He took his seat on the other side of Keith's and folded his hands together, before staring up at Allura's statue. Then, he turned his gaze to Keith. 

"... how long have you two known each other, again?"

_ Oh, no, _ Hunk thought. He sat in his chair with the food being distributed out, as he grimaced. This wa  _ not _ going to be a fun dinner at all.

"A while." Keith said softly, using his fingers to trace over Kuro's palm. Pidge let out a long sigh as she sunk down in her chair, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Damn it.

Cosmo was unhappily watching Shiro as the man gave a slow nod, eyes darting over to the pair holding hands. He could see the way Keith was drawing comfort from Kuro, and in much the same manner, the man was getting his comfort from Keith. 

"A while... huh." Shiro brought a hand to his chin, running over the light stubble there. "Kuro said a few months. Heh, that's... kinda fast, isn't it?"

"Shiro..." Lance sighed, though it was to no avail, and Shiro already looked set on words he wanted to say.

"Kind of fast?" Keith froze, his eyes sliding up to stare at Shiro. He took a moment to mull over his words, eyes narrowing at the Shiro that had gotten married to someone else. " _ That _ sounds familiar."

Pidge's head sunk down into her arms.

Shiro's eyes leveled on Keith's, a deep frown on his face. It was definitely not a look anyone wanted from Shiro, but Shiro couldn't help it. His emotions were getting the better of him, right now. 

"What's  _ that _ supposed to mean, Keith?"

"You did the same thing with Curtis." Keith pointed out, eyes narrowing. There was a bit of yellow in his eyes, but his fangs hadn't come out.  _ Yet. _

"Curtis— that's— we're not talking about him right now," Shiro quickly shut that down, his palms flat on the table. "I'm not arguing with you, Keith. We need to talk about this properly—  _ alone." _

"Like we talked about it before  _ you _ got married?"  _ There _ were Keith's fangs now, and he stood up, leaning over his own side of the table.

"No, we didn't talk about it properly, because it ended up exactly like how this is ending up right  _ now." _ Shiro says, eyes on fire, as his hands clutched at the table cloth beneath them.

"Guys... please. Can you— can you not do this now?" Lance asked, his weak voice trying to cut through, while trying to remain loud enough to be heard. 

Hunk, of course, heard him. And he let out a loud resounding sigh as he moved over to Keith and Kuro. "Look, I know tension is high right now, and I get that completely. But this is definitely not the right time to be talking about all this."

Hunk looked to Shiro now. "I know you're acting like this because you care about Keith, and we all do, but from what I've heard from Pidge— this guy is nice." He gave a hard pat to Kuro's back, unknowingly dislodging the disguise from its perch on Kuro's outfit. "We have to give him a chance, just like we did with Curtis—"

Keith's gaze snapped to Kuro as the disguise was dislodged, and he instantly deflated, body tense as his eyes widened. "Oh, fuck," he whispered quietly.

Pidge had snapped to attention, staring with a wide open mouth before she squeaked, "Well I wasn't expecting  _ that _ —"

Both Hunk and Lance gasped, whatever mood they'd had moments before fading to shock, as they saw the Altean arm... That should be across the table. But, of course, it  _ was. _

There was just two of them.

"... Keith." Shiro whispered, his voice impossibly low, but more teetering on the edge of being... well, freaked out. He stood from his chair. "I want an explanation for this  _ now." _

Kuro was just frozen, the mask still on his face, but there wasn't any need for  _ that _ now.

"Takashi." Keith said softly, raising his hand to press against Kuro's upper shoulder, attempting to snap the other out of his stupor. He wasn't going to explain this — but he was going to allow  _ Kuro _ to. If he wanted.

Kuro's body seemed to relax at the hand to his shoulder. Shiro felt weird hearing Keith say his name. No one got to say his name, unless they were…

Well, in a way he  _ was _ , wasn't he?

He stared in astonishment, as he came face to face... with himself. Spitting image and all, with a few changes to his face, and to his overall body language. He looked much more... relaxed, right now, than Shiro was.

"... sorry," Kuro started off, which had Hunk and Lance just staring with their eyes wide and bulging out of their heads. "I didn't want to lie to any of you, but, there had been a reason to. And now... you know that reason."

"Oh my starry eyed surprise," Hunk said, both hands pressed to his face as he looked between both Shiros. "It's like you have a twin, except you  _ don't, _ it's just  _ you— _ wait, how  _ are _ you here?" Hunk paused, suddenly getting the realization of what this meant.

"I'm... from another reality. A reality where... The universe was saved, but not everyone made it out. More specifically, Keith and Lotor sacrificed themselves for the universe's sake. Everyone else lived." He looked down, to the table, not sure how much he should divulge. He didn't even want to tell all of them that much, but it explained some questions that they would've asked from the get go. 

"... I. I guess... That explains what that picture was." Shiro muttered under his breath, whatever heat he'd had in him before diminished, and replaced with... an odd feeling he didn't know how to describe.

Coran was  _ instantly _ beside Shiro's side, picking up his Altean arm and then  _ Shiro's _ Altean arm and comparing the two.

He then looked between them both, tapped his nose, and backed off with a knowing glance.

Keith grasped  _ his _ Shiro's hand again, holding it tightly as he closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "... so he found me. On... a planet I was helping. And we just... hit it off from there." He opened his eyes and stared at Shiro, no sadness or anger in those pupils of his.

He  _ loved _ this Shiro, even after all this time.

How had he not seen it before?

But Shiro could absolutely see it, and it invoked a raw emotion within him that he wasn't sure he had in a very long time. He stared at Keith for a long few moments, before he looked to Kuro, and then back again. He couldn't help himself from hugging Keith, so he didn't. He buried his face into Keith's shoulder, and just held him tight. There's an apology that no one but Kuro and Keith would be able to hear.

It was unclear what the apology was for, but maybe it was in regards to  _ everything. _ Maybe Shiro himself felt guilt for the way he'd handled their progressing friendship. And perhaps, maybe he has, for all these years.

Surprise was on Keith's face as he let out a breath, feeling Shiro  _ hug _ him. He stood there, absolutely perplexed, before he slowly,  _ slowly _ raised his arms... and hugged Shiro back.   
  
He didn't say anything. He didn't  _ need _ to.

Shiro didn't say anything more, but maybe he didn't have to. There was a lot he thought they needed to talk about, but, that could be done... not now. Not at this dinner. He kept Keith held tight, taking in a ragged breath, before he  _ finally _ let himself become calm. Shiro pulled away with a light pat to Keith's back, before he looked up to Kuro. "I guess this works out for you, then, huh?"

Keith would agree, in time. He glanced up at the pat to his back, and his gaze followed Shiro's to Kuro. Seeing the expression on the other man's face, he slumped.

Kuro looked back to Shiro, expression looking somewhat guilty, as if he'd intruded somewhere he shouldn't have. Which, maybe that was true. Who knows what could've happened in the future.

But Shiro clearly didn't want Kuro to feel bad. 

"I love Keith. That much is true. But, I'm married— well. I'm on a break. And I have to work out some things for myself— and I'm happy, but even though my marriage is nice, I miss my best friend. It's my fault that there's any animosity, and I know that "Kuro" here might not be going anywhere, which I'm glad for— but I'd like to be able to be a part of your life, too." He stopped, and his cheeks flushed a little before he looked at the others outside of Keith and Kuro. "Er, sorry, everyone. This isn't exactly how dinner was supposed to go, I swear."

"On a break?" Keith pulled back to stare at Shiro, frowning. "Shiro, I— thought you were  _ happy _ ."

Pidge looked pointedly at Hunk, making a motion to  _ start eating _ . And then when Shiro glanced her way, she stopped, fretting in place, having been caught at her charades.

"I think a bit of food in our gullets would help everyone! Don't you think?" Coran smiled, rubbing the corner of his mustache in obvious glee. "With that said, I think both Shiros should sit next to each other. With Keith in between, of course."

_ Coran what were you doing. _

"Uh-huh..." Shiro made a face at the way Coran pushes them to just  _ eat, _ but he guesses that's the whole reason they're here anyway. To eat, to have dinner together, along with the addition of another him. 

He doesn't protest the idea, mainly because now... He could talk to Keith about things while it's brought up. So he sat on the other side of Keith, and put food on his plate. Coran was one step ahead, winking at 'Kuro' as he gave him an empty plate— something that he hadn't had before, due to the mask. Remedy solved, thanks to Coran!

"We were happy," Shiro said with a quiet sigh. "I mean, I'd like to think we still are. But he just... he can't help me with the PTSD. So he told me to get help to work on myself, before focusing on a marriage. And... he was right." Shiro took a bite of his food, as the others watched them quietly. "So I'm starting with therapy, and we're taking a break right now."

"... we  _ all _ have that." Pidge said quietly, staring at her plate as she frowned. "The PTSD, I mean. There's... some nights where I wake up screaming, just because the nightmares are so bad. Matt, too."

Keith dropped his hand as he stared at Pidge in a new light, shoulders tense. "... Pidge." How much had the war affected them, even years after it was all over? He shifted his gaze to Lance and Hunk, wondering if they had the nightmares, too.

"Well, yeah. Of course we do." Hunk added as he noticed Keith's glance, mouth forming a frown. "I don't get nightmares as much as you guys do, but there's visions. I can easily distract myself from those, though. I think I got off easy..."

"Mine just always consist of dying, no matter who it is that's actually dying," Lance muttered, putting his fork back down with a resounding sigh. "It's definitely hard on us all, but, Shiro's... he's been through the most, I think. I can see how Curtis might not be able to help much, with all of it. He just doesn't  _ know." _

"He doesn't. Which is... well, it's what  _ this _ is for. It's for us both to to work on it. But mainly, I want to just work on a way to deal with it on my own, when it's too bad." Shiro explains, looking away, and to the group.

Kuro wasn't quite sure what to make of all of this. He was half expecting there to be a lot more conflict than there was, but if anything, the other Shiro didn't actually want to cause trouble. Maybe he didn't want to make anything hard on Keith. He's already done that plenty enough. Kuro guessed he should be helpful in some way. 

"I have somewhat of a exercise for when that happens to me, if you want to try it. I've had to learn to perfect it on my own, and it might not work for you, but I can show you what to do later." 

Shiro was honestly very surprised by the offer. Considering it's himself, he didn't think it should be so much of a shock that he'd want to help someone in need. He's never been a self-care kind of guy, so this was taking it to a whole new level.

"Well... I. Thank you. I would appreciate that a lot. A lot of nights it becomes too difficult, and I can't focus on anything during the day other than breathing. I'd take anything that could work, at this point."

"He should be there for you." Keith said softly, fingers gripping into fists as he stared at his plate. It was reminiscent of  _ him _ being there for Shiro, but... Curtis wasn't  _ him _ .

Deciding to leave that trail of thought behind, Keith moved to load his plate with food and start eating. Shutting up was probably the best idea right now.

Shiro looked to Keith with a pained expression, but really, Curtis wasn't in the wrong. Shiro didn't think he was, anyway. He  _ did  _ need to work on himself, before he could work on his marriage with Curtis. But that didn't mean he didn't want the man by his side while he went through therapy, and exercises. All of those stressed him out, and coming home to an empty house to sleep in alone at night was worse than anything in the world.

"Maybe you're right," was all Shiro could murmur as he looked to his food. He picked up his fork and stabbed the meat closest to him. "I think I just need help, overall. I'm a mess."

"Well... we're all here for you, Shiro. You're our friend! It's not like we wouldn't help you if you asked us to." Lance spoke up as his palm rested on his cheek. "We work better together, than alone." 

There was a pause before Lance's face lit up. "I know— you should stay here in Altea for a while, and go to therapy  _ here. _ I think the Alteans would be a great help to you, more so than Earth therapy can provide. It'd be great, and you and I can hang out together just like the good old times!"

Shiro looked up from cutting and chewing his food, swallowing before he answered. "I don't know. Would I be in the way, if I did that?"

"No— of course not!" Lance was quick to say, looking to Coran for reassurance on that. "Right Coran?"

"Indeed!" Coran brightened as he lifted a hand, more than happy to explain. "We have some  _ great _ therapists here, especially ones who's talents are  _ yelling _ out the sadness. We could try that for you, if you want, eh Shiro?" Coran beamed at Shiro, clearly satisfied with his suggestion. Keith stared, mouth open as the fork wavered just inches away, the potatoes falling off of the tongs with a soft  _ plop _ .

Pidge groaned as she rubbed her temples, feeling a migraine coming on. Coran was… definitely something else, alright.

Shiro just stared at Coran at his statement before he ended up laughing, a hand clutching his fork tighter. "Yelling out the sadness, huh? I've never heard of that one before. But I can't say I wouldn't be down to try that. I'm up for anything at this point in time."

"Yes, quite similar to the yelmore! Remember when we were at Clear Day?" Coran beamed, twisting the end of his mustache with fondness. "When I won that trophy? Ah, memories..."

"Cool!" Lance interrupted Coran before he could continue on one of his usual tangents. "Then we can just— schedule that, or something. You can have your room here, and go about as you want. I'll stay on Altea for a little while, just so you don't get lonely." He stuck his tongue out at Shiro, to which Shiro huffed out an exasperated sigh that he ignored. "It'll be fun. Maybe everyone else can stay too, if they want to?" 

Hunk looks around at the table, before he piped up. "I wouldn't mind stopping by more often, just to hang out for a while. Once a year seeing you guys isn't nearly enough."

Keith stared down at his food again as the rest of his friends talked amongst themselves, starting to lose his appetite. He remembered that day far differently than anyone else, and he had wanted to spend it with  _ Shiro _ , but Shiro... had told him to go enjoy it elsewhere.

Why did Coran have to mention Clear Day?

Standing up, Keith shoved his plate away, pulling away from his chair. "Sorry. I'm not really hungry anymore. Excuse me." He left the table abruptly, leaving the rest of the Paladins in stunned silence.

"That's quite alright! We'll save your food!" Coran called after him, eyeing his own plate before digging in with fervor.

Pidge frowned as she watched him, shoulders slumping with a frown. There was nothing really  _ any _ of them could do — Shiro and Keith had to work it out themselves. Keith had a lot of pent up anger, after all.

Both Kuro and Shiro watched Keith leave, and both of them stood up as if to go after him.

"I'll go—" They both started to say at once, and when they realized they were talking over each other, they shared a long gaze. There wasn't any type of silent conversation, but Kuro quickly backs off, and sits back down. 

"You should go talk to him," Kuro sighed, hands on his lap, and eyes averting to the table. "It's you he wants to talk to." Shiro's expression had grown conflicted, but Kuro was  _ right. _ He did need to talk to Keith, and the other version of himself—  _ god _ , that was still so new and so weird. Another version of himself, with Keith— he never would've imagined this scenario.

With his thoughts momentarily derailing, he came back into focus, knowing that this alternate reality Shiro wasn't the person that made some poor choices for his friendship with Keith to crumble. In a way, he felt like the bad guy here. And he didn't want to be.

"Yeah— Right. I'll go talk to him." He wiped his mouth before he looked around to everyone at the table with a thankful smile. "Thank you all for dinner. Sorry it had to be cut short." 

He pushed in his chair and turned from the table to go after Keith. It had been years, but he was pretty sure he could still locate him, even in the hardest of places. He'd known Keith like a book, and could read his language as if it were his own, at one point. He wasn't quite sure if it was the same these days, but Shiro hopes he's where he thinks he is.

Keith had trudged off to someplace high, perched on the top of a building and overlooking the entirety of Altea. Cosmo was curled up alongside of him, nuzzling him and trying to cheer him up, but this time Keith's mood was soured indefinitely. He bit his lip to keep from crying, fingers fisting in Cosmo's fur as he tried to quell his shaking, attempting to tamper his mood down.

Everything he'd ever wanted to yell at Shiro about, to tell him how unfair things were, to tell him that his marriage was awful and he deserved so much better — it all fell dead on his tongue when Shiro had hugged him, and left him reeling and unsure how to cope with the situation.

And then Coran had brought up the Clear Day that the Paladins had spent together.

Keith couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle  _ anything _ now. Even  _ his _ Shiro, the one he  _ considered _ his... wasn't enough.

"Keith?" Shiro stepped out of the doorway that lead up to the roof, the emotion on his face giving away how troubled he was up until he'd found Keith. He cautiously moved closer, looking down to both Keith and Cosmo, but Cosmo ends up staring at Shiro with a low growl. But that was all he did, his attention drawn away so that he could lay his head back into Keith's lap. 

Shiro's entire body grew tense at that, and he looked to the back of Keith's head again. "I wanna talk to you. If. You want to."

Keith was tense, gritting his teeth as Shiro invaded his presence, speaking to him like they were old friends. "Sure." He could, after all, never say no to Shiro.

Shiro's lips pulled to the side, gaze shifting away again, as he stepped over to the other two. He didn't sit down right next to them, but he sat nearby, just to watch the way the sun was going down. Altean sunsets were always rather beautiful, he thought.

"... I guess I should start off with saying sorry," Shiro started dumbly. He thinks there's a way better, to start off this conversation, but that's all he could come up with right now. His mind was shot. "And... I know that my actions were the reason why we drifted further apart. I never wanted to lose contact with you, but... I should've known better than to close myself off at all."

Shiro took that as a sign that Keith didn't want him to be around, after all. He felt like he'd known that too, and maybe that's what he wanted, because he couldn't love Keith the same way he loved him— the brotherly love. That hadn't been something he could live with.

Shiro had dumbly realized that years later, it wasn't brotherly love. It was pure, unadulterated love. Shiro loved his husband a lot, but he had guilt and regret eating the walls of his stomach away like burning acid, when Lance had told him what Keith's feelings  _ really _ were.

"I asked you once, if you were happy, getting married to Curtis." Keith said, his voice broken and full of sadness. "When you said yes, I realized that it wasn't going to work between us." He smiled bitterly, choking as he turned his head away.

"I thought distance would help me get over it." He swallowed, eyes burning. "Spoilers. It didn't."

"Yeah. I know." Shiro murmured, his hands clutching both his knees as he sat cross-legged on the blue roof. He found the plants surrounding them rather calming, despite how tense this conversation already was. He reached out to slide a thumb over a petal. What else was he supposed to say to Keith's words? Apologize again? He felt like that'd just be repetitive. But then again, he felt like he had a lot to make up for. Sorry wasn't just going to cut it, and he knew that.

"It would be wrong of me to tell you now that I've had feelings for you all these years. But you deserve to know that, despite the circumstances, I did. It wasn't until some time after I married Curtis that I was told... you know. You loved me more than just as a brother. I can't say I regret marrying Curtis, because I don't, but I always did wonder what would've happened if I'd just— told you anyway. Said that I loved you too."

He smiled bitterly, and looked away. "I guess I kind of see what would've happened, since you have Kuro."

"He acted where you didn't." Keith said, crossing his arms and setting his jaw. A bitter laugh left him as he turned his head away, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes. "Even  _ Lance _ saw it, what—" What kind of reality was this where everyone saw it but the one he loved the most?

"I knew you loved me but— I. You said "You're my brother". As far as I'm aware, that means by all accounts, I'm to think you loved me like  _ that. _ I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by telling you that I loved you in a different way, so I tried to just get over it." Shiro rubbed a hand on his temple, closing his eyes. "I know that was a mistake. And I'm sorry that was how everything played out. I regret how our friendship turned into... whatever this is right now." A trembled sigh slipped past his lips. "To an extent, we're both at fault, but I know that I fucked this up more than it should've been. And I'm so sorry for that. I wanted you to know that I am, because I never... I never intended to hurt you. I thought what I had done was right. I know now that it wasn't."

"It was the only thing I could think of to break you out of Haggar's  _ mind control! _ " Keith's eyes were yellow as he sobbed, trying not to tug Cosmo's fur hard, but he was distraught and inconsolable. His fangs bit into his lip, and he shook as he gripped his arms.

Cosmo could have teleported him out at any time, but he didn't. Keith remained, and despite his tears, he was listening.

"I know what you were trying to do, but if you wanted to be more concise about what it is you wanted from me, you could've corrected what you said at a later date. I know I'm at fault for not talking to you sooner, but— you could've said  _ anything. _ Anything at all, and I would've talked to you. I left ample amounts of time for you to come talk to me, to tell me it was more than just a "brother" thing." Shiro swallowed thickly. He'd never gotten this emotional about anything. Not even at his own wedding did he shed any tears. But right now, he was hurting just as much as Keith was. 

"I shouldn't be saying all of this, but we needed to talk about it sooner or later, and yes— I know it's my fault too, that it's later, rather than sooner. But you have to understand that it's not just my fault." He looks away from Keith, his muscles visibly taut, and his jaw tight, as he fights away the urge to cry. "I don't want to be the bad guy, to you. I never wanted to hurt you. I always wanted to  _ help _ you."

"No." Keith said in agreement, his voice sounding tired and worn out. Shiro was absolutely right. He swallowed again as he choked back a sob, using his sleeve to wipe away the tears. Nothing had hurt this bad since he'd lost his father. "We're both idiots," he finally stated as he continued his train of thought, letting out a long sigh as his lips pressed together, face contorting into one of pure sadness. They'd just kept dancing around each other, hoping one would make the move before the other.

But Keith had always kept his distance, for the sake of Shiro's happiness.

Shiro looked over to Keith, finally, after hearing those words. His temper settled down, the fire dampening out quickly as he let a long stress-filled sigh escape him. 

He then got up from his spot, and moved over to Keith and Cosmo, ignoring the way Cosmo was staring at him— judging his actions, and his words. He couldn't blame the wolf, but he also knew that he didn't want this to be what their lives were like, either. 

Only when he sat down next to Keith, did he start talking again. He was afraid to even put an arm around Keith, though he wanted to. He just wanted to  _ hug _ him. "We're dumbasses, is what we are. It's far too late to do anything about this. And I know the conversation is going to go nowhere."

There's a pregnant pause, before he turns his head, sad eyes making contact with Keith's. "But I'm glad you have Kuro. As much as I wish it were me, he was the me that did what I should've done. He's supported you, and I can't top what he's got going on with you. And I don't want to— I don't want to sabotage what you've got now. But I also... I want to be a part of your life again, Keith. I  _ miss _ talking to you, and being close to you. It doesn't feel right, the way things are right now."

"... it's never going to feel the same way again, Shiro." Keith felt the weight drop in his stomach as soon as he said it, and he rested his hand on his own cheek as he leaned against Cosmo, not reaching out to touch Shiro, either. His fingers brushed over the scar there, lingering over the memory etched into his skin.

Turning towards the sunset, Keith frowned as he let the tears roll down his face, shoulders slumping. "... you never came to watch the last sunset with me, either." He paused, biting his lip as his voice wavered. "... even though you said to spend it with those you loved."

"I know." Shiro said, his eyes on the orange sky. It's uncertain if that was his answer to what Keith first said, or if that was in response to the sunset. Maybe it could be served as both. "I'm sorry about that, too. Things were busy, and that was meant more for everyone else, than myself. I knew that there would be no relaxing for me, and any relaxing I  _ did _ have, it was just with Curtis while I worked."

Shiro scowled and shut his eyes. "I would've loved to watch the sunset with you."

"... oh." Keith deflated, his smile bitter as he crumpled at those words, all anger washing away and leaving him just hollow. "You were with him, even then." He hadn't realized it before. It seemed so fast... but was it, really? It hurt far more than it did before, and Keith realized that despite everything... nothing would change between them. Not anymore.

"It was the starts of it. We weren't anything yet, but he kept my company while I worked, and I never told him to leave." Shiro didn't stop staring at the beautiful sky.

"I'm not saying it's going to go right back to how it used to be. But I would want to try, to be close with you, again. To be your best friend, like I'm supposed to be." He paused, and then looked down to his hands.  "Even if, technically, you're with a version of me. I hope you both end up happy no matter what happens, you know. As much as it hurts."

Keith was silent, letting the words hang in the air. He closed his eyes and focused on calming himself for a moment, voice wavering as he spoke. "... this is the last time I'm coming here, Shiro," he finally admitted as he stared forward, hunching his head down. How could he explain that it was too painful to come here and see Shiro living his own life? Too painful to see Allura's statue, and everything she'd sacrificed? And now that he had a Shiro from another reality where  _ he _ had sacrificed himself instead of Allura? It only made the realization that much worse.

He could have given up everything, and it would have ended up the same as it was now, in a way. Just with less pain.

Shiro was just as quiet as Keith was, before he'd said what he had. His mouth opened, but no words came out, and he forced it to close again as he stared at the world of Altea below them. "... I... I understand." He finally spoke, tone raw. "That's only fair. I wouldn't want you to come if you were uncomfortable. I'm sure Lance wouldn't be upset if you didn't."

"... yeah." Keith slumped further, looking away as he continued to run his fingers through Cosmo's fur, not feeling tired or hungry, but just...  _ existing _ .

He didn't think there was anything more to say, between them.

Shiro was fairly certain that there wasn't much else he could say in this instance, either. He felt bad for not being able to keep the conversation going— not like it used to be. 

Yeah. Definitely... not like it used to be. "I'll see you around, Keith. Take care of yourself."

Cosmo didn't give Keith the time to reply. They teleported out of there, leaving Shiro alone on the rooftop of the building as the last of the sun disappeared behind the horizon. 

Shiro thought he would be fine, when Keith left. He thought he'd be okay, and he could go back to dinner, as if nothing was wrong. But it turned out that it was definitely not the case.

He spent some time up on that roof, crying until he had no more tears to spend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love is so complicated. :(
> 
>  
> 
> Happy New Years, you guys! If you're curious about any updates, please follow my twitter! I'll be moving within the month, so the next chapter will probably be a while, sorry guys D: Moving suuuucks.
> 
> Also, if you haven't seen it yet, please check out [this INCREDIBLE art](https://twitter.com/AzuleadArt/status/1079500156297531392) done by the wonderful Azulead!! It was one of my favorite scenes to rp with my lovely Noirx 0w0
> 
> As always, our twitters are here!  
> [Fethaire](https://twitter.com/fethaire)  
> [Noirx](https://twitter.com/noirxshirosk)


	5. heart on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex is good for pent up feelings.

Keith sat in his room, holding his head in his hands. He breathed in and out to calm his nerves, but nothing he did helped. He thought hashing things out with Shiro would have done something —  _ anything  _ — but it just opened old wounds and flayed them raw, emotions bubbling up from when he'd shoved them down, hoping they'd never come to light again.

But they did, for the  _ both  _ of them.

Kuro picked at his food the entire time both Shiro and Keith were absent from the table. He didn’t know what to say to this reality’s paladins. If they were his own, it’d be easier, but they weren’t. They were just a different version of them. 

Hunk wished he could say something, but he’s not quite sure what to say, and Lance is in the same boat. Granted, Lance knew about this Shiro, so he felt like he could say more — but he just didn’t.

Pidge was the one who spoke up first, her grin devious. "So. Are you as bad of a cook as our Shiro, or worse?"

_ OUCH, PIDGE. _

Kuro looked up from poking the meat on his plate to stare at Pidge, taking a moment to register that she was talking to him. “... that depends on how bad your Shiro is at cooking.”

“Well, he’s not  _ that _ bad. He has some kinks to work on,” Lance started, though he really didn’t sound or look very convincing. “But he’s okay. He could be worse.”

Kuro looked away for a long moment in contemplation, before his eyes landed on the group again. “... Well, I burned pancakes. Does that rival his cooking?”

Hunk didn’t bother to conceal a snort at that.

"He burns cookies." Pidge placed her arms on the table, not caring about manners. "Not once. Not  _ twice _ . But three times. Even under supervision. I think it's his superpower." She eyed him curiously, before turning her gaze to Lance.

"You don't have to sugarcoat it. Hunk  _ did _ ban Shiro from the kitchen, after all."

“Well; not yet. But I was very close to doing so.” Hunk said, resting his head in his hand as his elbow dug into the table.

“... my version of you  _ did. _ You’ve definitely got more patience than he does.” Kuro smiled, huffing out a laugh.

“Listen, I was trying to be nice,” Lance said, blowing a raspberry in Pidge’s direction. “He tries, for what it’s worth. It’s a relief he hasn’t burned anything down while trying— yet, anyway.”

_ ”That _ would be the day I’d ban him from my kitchen.” Hunk informed them, looking to Kuro pointedly. “That goes for you, too. If your version of me banned you from cooking, I won’t hesitate to do the same.”

Kuro put his hands up, and gave a guilty smile. “It was all accidents, I swear.”

"... are we the same?" Pidge finally asked, her head tilting quizzically. "As your versions," she clarified after a moment’s hesitation. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, so many theories she had swimming around in her head as she stared at him, as if trying to piece a puzzle together.

“... There are similarities. Lance,” He said, gaining the named paladin’s attention in an instant, “is the most noticeably different. But I think that’s... Because Allura isn’t here.”

Lance continued to stare at Kuro for a moment until he looked away, and down to the plate of food he’d stopped touching long ago. “... So that is true, then. If Keith and Lotor sacrifices themselves... Allura’s still alive in your reality?”

There was a nod from Kuro, leaving Lance unsure exactly how to feel about it. His hand absentmindedly moved to his chest, and he clutches the fabric there.

“I’m... Glad that she lives, in some reality.” He whispered, although he wished it was  _ this _ one.

Pidge slammed her hand on the table, jolting everyone from the conversation as she squinted at Kuro, cheeks puffing out. "When Lance and I were grilling you. How  _ did _ you come up with the information that you met Keith?" She was half changing the subject because she wanted to  _ know _ , and half changing it to help bring Lance from the depressive state she knew he'd sink into, not intending at all to direct him there with her questions.

Everyone stared at her with wide eyes for the longest time, but Kuro broke the silence with a laugh.

"Well... I was good with my backstories in Monsters and Mana, wasn't I? I like to think this is a talent." Kuro smiled, biting down on his lip as he looked to Pidge. "It was easy. Plazor is a real planet in my reality, but it's mostly made up of Hablets. Little tiny creatures that look vaguely like apples.  _ My _ Lance made the mistake of almost eating one."

_ That _ got a small chuckle out of Lance, and it seemed like the conversation shift had been drastically needed.

"So tell us, then, how you met  _ our _ Keith." Pidge’s attention was undivided as she stared, her attention completely on him.

"... Well, most of it wasn't a lie," Kuro ponders a moment on how to explain it, but ultimately just decides to come clean with the reality of it. "And what Keith said earlier is true— I did just find him on a planet that the Blades were providing aid to. We hit things off since then, but it hasn't been a few months. It's... Just been over a week."

Pidge's hand fell into her food, but she didn’t notice right away. "... a week." She glanced over to Hunk and Lance, shock rendering her silent.

Lance and Hunk both stared back with astonishment. Hunk’s mouth hung open, and Lance was just simply at a loss for words. 

“Wow... That’s. Crazy?” Lance didn’t think that was quite the word for it, but he didn’t know how else to describe it. “And Keith— he said that you two were talking about engagement. Is that true, or was that a lie, too?”

“Oh, uh, well— I. We. Haven’t spoken about anything like that.” He blushed instantly. “I did... With my reality’s Keith, before everything changed for good. I don’t know if Keith  _ here _ wants that, but I think maybe he might...?”

Pidge folded her hands together, staring intently at Kuro. "... I think you'd better go find out."

“Well— I planned to. He’s just been stressed out about tonight, and all I’ve been trying to do is get him encouraged to show up. It’s lucky we even made it at all.” Kuro sighed, his lips forming a fine line. “I should go talk to him, though. Hopefully him and... Shiro, are done talking.”

His own name sounds so foreign on his tongue, but that’s what life would be like, for right now.

Biting her lip, Pidge let out a long sigh. "Both of them are experts about skirting the issue with each other," she said quietly, frowning. "I wouldn't be surprised if they actually did talk about it, but... I don't think it's going to help anything, anymore." What's done was done, and there was no changing that.

“I don’t think it will either,” Kuro said, his hand running over his forehead and under the tuft of hairs. He closed his eyes, assessing what to say next. “But perhaps something can come out of it. Whatever that may be. Not talking about it at all can only make things worse.”

He stood up, looking around at the others with a smile. “Thank all four of you for being so kind, and caring, to Keith. He’s lucky to have all of you, even when he’s felt like he’s had no one.”

“Yeah, of course! He’s our friend— he’s part of our  _ family. _ We all care about him in our own ways,” Hunk said, watching Kuro with a small smile. He liked him, honestly. He really felt like what Shiro used to be, and maybe that was what drew Keith in so fast. “It’s an honor to meet you. Just don’t hurt Keith, alright?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Kuro promised, and Hunk knew he meant it.

"If you do, I'll make you regret it." Pidge smiled, drumming her fingers on the table. She glanced over to Lance and gave him a thumbs up.

“I know you will.” Kuro laughed as Lance looked back to Pidge, nodding and returning her thumbs up with one of his own.

"Who's ready for dessert!?" Coran suddenly exclaimed, returning to the table with a large dish of what looked to be moving tentacles, and Pidge glanced over with wide eyes before she bolted.

"NothanksI'mfullbye!!"

Lance and Kuro made twin reactions of detest as they stared at the “dessert”, while Hunk remained seated.

“Yeah— I’m. I’m gonna go talk to Keith.” Kuro said, immediately moving from the table and practically running off in the same direction as Pidge. 

Lance just said “NOPE!”, and ran. He didn’t even bother making an excuse. But at least Hunk would stay with Coran, right? He’s the only one  _ would _ feel guilty enough to stay.

"Oh, good! That means more for us, right, Hunk?" Coran set the plate on the table and beamed, picking up a writhing tentacle and slurping it up.

Poor Hunk.

  
  


As he said he was going to do, Kuro decided to make his way to the room he would share with Keith. He knew the layout of the place rather well at this point, and he thought he knew which one would be Keith's room. So, he stepped up to the first door of a long hallway, and gave it a testing knock.

There was no answer, but once he heard a soft  _ whuff _ from Cosmo, Kuro knew that Keith was inside. He was curled up on the bed, clutching his chest as he tried to breathe through his tears, nothing but pain written all over his face.

It seemed that the talk hadn't gone well at all.

Kuro took that as his cue to enter, and when he did, his heart fell at the sight of Keith curled up in the bed.

He shut the door behind him and walked over to the bed, grateful that Cosmo shifted to actually make room for him. He knew that Keith wanted Kuro right now, but the wolf was still very much nearby to keep Keith company. Kuro moved onto the bed in front of Keith, as he carefully brushed his bangs out of his face. 

"You wanna talk about it?"

"I feel. Like I don't. Matter." Keith said, his sentence structure broken in between his sobs. "When he told. Everyone to spend. Time. With their loved ones? He meant. Everyone else. Not him. Not  _ me _ ."

Kuro's chest hurt as he listened, and his hand moved to cup the back of Keith's head as he sobbed. He planted a kiss to his forehead and brought him in, tucking him under his arm. 

"You  _ matter, _ Keith. You matter so much. I should've went with him, to come get you. I just wanted to give you two a chance to talk, without me interfering..."

Curling up against him, Keith clung to him, shaking like a leaf. He didn't say anything, which spoke volumes to Kuro's statement — even him coming with wouldn't have changed things.

Kuro didn’t say anything more, but he did rub Keith's back in an effort to help him calm down. Even Cosmo curled up with them, enveloping Keith in warmth and protection. Kuro was rather glad he'd come when he had, now. Maybe it had been a sign. 

"I love you, Keith. I'm sorry the talk didn't go well."

"I love. You too." Keith pressed the ends of his palms into his eyes as he sucked in a breath, swallowing.

"I want. To go back. With you."

Kuro looked down to Keith, with furrowed eyebrows, and a tilt of his head.

“You... you wanna go back with me?” He was confused, not quite understanding.

"Y-yes." Keith stared up at him, large crocodile tears rolling down his face. "You asked...?"

“Oh— right, yeah!” He said with alarm on his face, but recognition too. He didn’t forget about what he’d asked— but he had momentarily been caught off guard. “I... you sure you’d want to? I mean, you can always come back to visit, if you wanted to. But I’d love to take you to my reality. I think you’d be happy there.”

Kuro's face caught Keith off guard, and he stopped crying as he  _ snorted _ , huffing out a soft laugh. He kept laugh-sobbing as he buried his face into Kuro's chest, sniffling as he attempted to breathe.

Kuro was surprised by  _ Keith's _ reaction, and he opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. It was laugh-crying, but he'd take that over full on tears. He huffed a soft laugh before he kissed the top of Keith's head. "At least I got you to laugh."

Tilting his head up at Kuro, Keith sniffled and smiled as he wiped away the rest of his tears, feeling numb. "I feel like an idiot. Hoping for something I knew I was never going to get."

“That doesn’t make you an idiot,” Kuro scowled, playing with Keith’s hair as his lips turned downward. “It was something valid to hope for... but at least you’ve still got support to rely on, despite it.”

"Didn't get the closure I wanted, though."

“No, and I’m sorry you didn’t.” He’d suggest Keith to try again, but... he wasn’t sure how that conversation would pan out. 

Keith sighed as he leaned into the touch, finger trailing down Kuro's chest as he thought. His mood was improved tenfold since Kuro had joined him, and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

"... you know. You never got to fuck me in that suit."

Kuro snorted, half lidded eyes watching Keith as his fingers lingered over his chest. “No. I didn’t. Why, did you want to do that right  _ now?” _

"Yes." Keith let out a long sigh, closing his eyes momentarily. "I want to forget tonight even happened."

That was Cosmo’s cue to leave the room entirely, the wolf teleporting out with a soft blue glow, and Kuro’s laughter softly rings out as the little particles of life left behind drift down and disappear.

Keith fell backwards against the bed with a startled breath, as he was leaning back against Cosmo in comfort. He huffed up at Kuro, half scowling, but half smirking as well. He couldn’t blame Cosmo for absconding, after the turn in the conversation.

Kuro ended up laughing at Keith’s very startled reaction, but all he did was respond to that with a kiss to the corner of Keith’s mouth. “Okay. I think I can do that for you.” He whispered softly, his cheek being kissed right afterwards, accompanied by a little chuckle. He was holding his laughter at bay. 

_ ”Definitely _ can do that for you...”

"Don't be mean." Keith huffed at Kuro, but couldn't truly stay mad at him — he turned his head to kiss in return, reaching up to pull him down by wrapping his arms around the other's neck.

"Don't laugh at me..."

“I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you,” Kuro murmured softly as he kissed Keith once again— this time, letting it linger. His hand played with the braid a little more, running it through his fingers, before he pulled his face just slightly away. 

“We’re going to be happy together, okay? Just you and me.”

"And Cosmo," Keith said softly, staring up at Kuro through half-lidded eyes. He made a soft sound at the fingers through his braid, calming significantly at that gesture.

“Yes, and Cosmo,” Kuro huffed out. “And... Comet, too.”

He took the end of Keith’s braid, and made a makeshift mustache. He didn’t comment on it, however.

"Comet?" Keith blinked, opening his eyes to stare at Kuro, raising an eyebrow and frowning at the gesture with his braid. "... no. Just no." Kuro didn't need fur on his face, thank you very much.

Kuro laughed, but let’s the braid drop, amusement dancing in his irises as he stares down to Keith. 

“Comet’s... your wolf. Well, you know. In my reality. Though I guess technically, she’s mine, now.”

"...  _ she _ ?" Keith blinked, surprise overwhelming his features as he subconsciously pulled Kuro closer, trying to tug him on top.

“Yes,” Kuro moved over the other without needing to be prodded much more. “A she. She’s small, but feisty. Her and Cosmo are similar in more ways than one, of course, and I miss her a lot.”

"So many things are different." Keith mused softly, reaching up to play with the tuft of hair on Kuro's forehead again, running it through his fingers. "I'd like to meet her." Would Kuro's wolf even like him? He thought, knowing one thing  _ hadn't _ changed, despite everything.

“They are. Subtle differences, but there’s differences, for certain.” He smiled, seeming glad that there were differences, anyway. It made differentiating things a tad easier. 

"I love you, Takashi." Keith stated after he mulled over the words for a moment, staring up into Kuro’s eyes.

“I love you too, Keith. I love you so much.” He murmured in return, warmth flooding his chest as his eyes searched the dark purple galaxy that made up Keith’s irises. He decided to kiss him before he got lost in them.

Keith saw the look in Kuro's eyes — in  _ Shiro's _ eyes — and his cheeks warmed at the thought of just how  _ much _ he was loved, before his lips were claimed. He let out a soft breath of " _ oh _ ", arching underneath of the other before he broke the kiss and stared into Shiro's eyes.

"We're dating. We're  _ boyfriends _ ," Keith stated with wide eyes, as if he'd just realized this fact.

Shiro’s laugh rang out again, like music to Keith’s ears. His arms curled around and slipped under Keith, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of his nose before he simply laid on the other. 

“We are.” And with this, the thought of the earlier conversation was brought back to his mind. He bit down on his lower lip, before he decided to speak up. “About the uh... engagement thing. Is getting married something you’d want, with me?”

Keith's eyes widened even further, and his breath caught in his throat as he made a strangled sound, grasping Shiro and burying his head in the other's shoulder.

" _ Shiro _ ," Keith breathed, and he knew it was a resounding yes.

Shiro hid his amusement this time, though not very well, as the corners of his mouth twitched at the way Keith quickly became flustered with the idea of being married. “... yes?” He asked, making it necessarily unclear whether or not it was truly a question, or if he was just saying that on purpose.

"Y-yes," he squeaked, huffing as he made a catlike sound and tried to hide further.

“Good. I think once we get back to my reality, that’s something we can talk about more...” He knew that he was going to have to ask properly, though. He wanted to make it better than the post-coitus proposal he gave  _ his _ Keith, when Keith’s lips were red and swollen from kissing, and his own eyes were shot with pure lust and love. He could make it even better than that... Even if then, it had been the most “romantic” thing he’d done to date.

Gripping onto Shiro's shoulders, Keith buried his face into the other's neck, tense and heart beating  _ fast _ . He'd wanted this for so long... but was it too much, too soon?

"Nothing is set in stone. So we have time to think about whether or not we want that anytime soon. I would just be happy having you by my side, whether that be married, or not." He rubs Keith's arm in a reassuring manner, his soft sigh tickling Keith's cheek.

Nodding, Keith breathed out gently, curling against him before he pressed a kiss to Shiro's neck. It lingered as he swallowed, tongue twisted and throat swollen with emotion. He was afraid to speak for fear of losing all control, so he swallowed and opened his mouth, moving to  _ bite him _ .

Shiro was taken completely by surprise thanks to that bite, his face instantly flushing, and he went to say something— only for it to come out a jumbled mess. 

"Keith." Is all that ultimately came out from the man, alongside a tiny crack in his voice.

Keith looked up innocently, his face red, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The reaction had centered him, and allowed him to gather control again. "... Shiro?"

Shiro’s face was still ever so slightly a hue of soft red, but it was growing deeper at the thought of what he wanted to say next. “You... can bite there  _ harder. _ If you want to.”

Keith blinked slowly, letting out a soft huff as he grinned slowly. "... didn't know you had a biting kink." Leaning back, he started to pull off his clothing, since Shiro was taking his  _ sweet time _ on doing that particular thing.

“Well— it’s. I wouldn’t say it’s a kink,” Shiro tried to defend himself, with no such luck. As if getting the hint that Keith wanted to be undressed  _ now, _ he moved his hands over Keith’s, and stopped him from undressing himself. He takes over, instead. “It’s definitely more like I enjoy more pressure, with a bite.”

"... so it's definitely more like it's a kink," Keith said, snorting as he stretched his arms up and let Shiro roam under his shirt.

“Well I don’t want to  _ say _ that it is,” Shiro relented, his hands tracing over the muscles and curves of Keith’s body, and kneading into the skin. “But maybe it’s a little bit of one.”

Moaning softly from the touch, Keith arched against the bed as he tried to shift his hands down to undo his pants, attempting to hurry the unclothing process along. "Just a little bit?" Keith smirked as he bared his teeth, leaning forward to rest them on Shiro's neck. "So if I growled a  _ little bit _ too, that wouldn't do anything for you?"

Damn Keith for being such a tease.

“I... I’m not going to say whether or not it would.” 

He paused. 

“But it could.” Shiro finally admitted as his hand moved with Keith’s, and stopped him from undoing his pants. There was a smirk Keith didn’t see for a moment, but once Keith doesn’t move, Shiro complies with taking off Keith’s shirt and then sets to work on his pants.

"Shiro." Keith smirked as his eyes brightened, and he tilted his head as he watched the man above him. "That's not an answer."

_ "I _ think it is." Shiro said, in his defense. Technically, it  _ was _ an answer. Just not the one Keith was going for.

Blowing a raspberry in Shiro's direction, Keith stuck out his tongue in retaliation. "Rude." Lifting a leg, he stretched it out so Shiro could pull off his pants one leg at a time, not really wanting to move out from underneath of the other.

Shiro could only laugh at that the "response" he got, fingers curling around the bottom of the pants leg that Keith offered to him, and he worked on the other one shortly after. He discarded them somewhere off to the side, not at all caring about where it ended up, before his hands curled into Keith's sides and ran down to his thighs.

"I think  _ you're _ the rude one, for the record," He finally answered, as one hand slides up over Keith's up, and rests at his side. The other hand traces over the bulge in Keith's briefs, as his teeth make contact with his jawline. "You stuck your tongue out at me..."

Arching up against him, Keith's eyes closed as he gave a soft gasp, groaning with need. "You started it. Not giving me a straight answer..." Lifting his hands, Keith ran his fingers through Shiro's hair before moving to bite down on his collarbone, letting out a soft huff of impatience.

"I don't think you should expect  _ any _ straight answer from a gay man." Shiro breathed into his neck, his head cocking to the side, so his lips could scale further down Keith's neck. 

He knew he was impatient, but he wanted to have some fun.

"But, really, I did... you just chose not to accept it." The warmth of his palm rested against Keith's clothed length, his pointer finger and thumb cupping the outline to give some tantalizing strokes.

" _ Shiro _ ." Keith groaned, arching against the other as he moved to dig his nails into Shiro's back, dragging them across the fabric of the suit. "Shiro, don't make me beg for it. Please..."

Shiro’s eyes lit up at the prospect of Keith begging. He hid that well as he moved up, face to face with Keith. He could see how badly he wanted this, how badly he  _ needed _ this, and Shiro would give it to him.

But he needed to be patient. 

“But if I go right for it... It won’t last that long. I want to  _ savor _ this, Keith,” He whispered, a light lingering kiss pressing to Keith’s mouth. His fingers stopped the grip they had, now merely ghosting over the fabric and the hard member he just  _ knew _ was aching to be released. He could feel the spot above the head in his underwear leaving a wet stain, after all.

“I want to savor  _ every _ moment with you...”

Keith lifted his eyes to stare at Shiro, mouth open as he breathed in sharply. The thought of Shiro taking his time was a  _ definite _ turn on, and Keith couldn't help the small sound he made in his throat, cheeks becoming a vibrant red. "I'm... both against it and for it," he finally admitted, chest swelling up as he mused over the idea.

“I would think you’d be  _ all _ for it,” Shiro laughed, the sound of it dipped low thanks to the rising suffocating desire bubbling up within his own chest. “Considering... situations.”

Shiro nipped at his collarbone as he tugged the underwear down by barely a centimeter with each pull. Only when Keith’s member is  _ about _ to spring free, does Shiro trace Keith’s hip bones, admiring the structure of them more intensely than he would’ve otherwise. Definitely stalling on purpose, despite the erection he’s troubling  _ himself _ with. 

“I  _ did _ promise you a continuation of earlier, though... but this would end up being a bit of a longer session than what would’ve been earlier. Are you up for that?”

Keith's breath hitched in his throat as he made another soft sound, stretching out and attempting to arch his hips up and against Shiro's hand.

"Yes. Anything you want to do,  _ baby _ ," Keith breathed out, his smile teasing as he shifted his gaze to stare at his boyfriend.  _ Fiancé _ .

God, he loved him. So, so much... but he knew that if Shiro was going to do this, then he was going to play along, too.

Shiro was flabbergasted to hear that come from Keith. It was obvious it caught him off-guard, because he had stopped his movements, and his eyes were  _ glued _ to Keith. 

It took him longer than a second to recover.

He cleared his throat and planted a kiss to the base of his neck. “It looks like... we’ll be doing  _ that _ then.” He said in a finalized tone, swallowing back the small break in his voice, as his hands began to move again. 

Now, he moved the underwear down, so Keith’s member sprung out.

Seeing Shiro's reaction had Keith puffing up with pride, and he tilted his chin up as he continued to stare. Once his member was free, he lifted his hands to run his fingernails up the back of Shiro's neck, through his hair.

"What's wrong, baby? Did I catch you off guard?" He loved using the pet name, and he couldn't help but feel delighted in the way that it made Shiro  _ react _ .

Shiro bristled at the pet name being used not once, but  _ two _ times, his cheeks finally coloring over with a light red hue. He bit the skin inside his lip, tempted to answer Keith and give him the satisfaction of  _ getting _ to him.

But that wasn’t what this was about right now. 

Even though he physically reacted to that, with shivers and all, he steels himself and makes a decision. He quickly  _ rips _ the underwear the rest of the way off of Keith, as a gleam of seriousness was caught in his eyes. It was... Oddly  _ hot. _

“I didn’t say you could call me that, did I?”

"Would you rather me call you  _ daddy _ ?" Keith couldn't help the awful grin that spread over his face, his eyes bright as he bit his lower lip, a soft groan echoing out from his throat.

Fuck. Was Shiro actually being...  _ dominating _ ? Holy shit.

It wasn’t often that Shiro was dominating; he only tried it a handful of times with the Keith in his reality, and  _ he _ had liked it. He might as well try it here, right?

_ ”No.” _ Shiro shook his head at the ‘daddy’ pet name, immediately shutting that one down. He’d much rather be called baby than  _ that. _ He curled a hand around Keith, thumbing the head of it as he squeezed the length. His pace was slower than anything he’s ever done with Keith.

Snickering for a good moment, Keith moved his hands over Shiro's arms and dragged his nails over the suit, arching against him as he stifled a moan. "Mhh,  _ baby _ ." Keith wasn't into the whole 'daddy' kink either, so he was kind of glad that Shiro shot it down.

Of course, he'd do anything for Shiro.

He knew that the other needed help taking off his suit, but he didn't get there yet, wanting to find out how long it would take him to  _ ask _ .

Shiro was  _ far _ more patient than Keith was. Though, that being said, everyone had their limits— even Takashi "Patience Yields Focus" Shirogane. But he didn't let that on, at least. He looked rather calm, and collected... even if he did have a bright blush on his face. But the darkening of the room helped him out with that.

"You're just going to keep trying to make this hard for me to do  _ anything, _ aren't you?" He questioned, his hand pumping Keith faster.

"Well, I wouldn't be  _ me _ otherwise, would I? Ngh— Shiro—" Keith was getting louder, but he was still far too  _ quiet _ . Unfortunately for Keith, he was far more impatient than Shiro, and moved his hands up to scramble at the zipper behind him, pulling it down with a huff as his face twitched with each stroke that Shiro gave him.

Shiro could only chuckle at the impatience rolling off of Keith with tiny clucks of his tongue, and almost too harsh sighs. He's always been amused by Keith's willingness to listen to his advice elsewhere,  _ until _ it came to the bedroom. In here, he seemed to ignore those.

"No, you're right, you wouldn't be," Shiro agreed, his hand going fast, and then slow. He didn’t pay attention to the way the suit sagged on him then, the zipper parting to make the tight form-fitting blades uniform hang over his sides and shoulders. But he only smiled to Keith, and didn’t move at all to take it off. "I guess I should enjoy it then, right, sweetheart?"

"Shiro." Keith huffed, letting his arms fall as he stared up to the other, still twitching underneath of the other and getting  _ frustrated _ with how slow Shiro was going. He was never really mad at this stage, but he always wanted to go  _ faster _ , despite knowing that he'd always be rewarded in the end.

"Keith." Shiro answered, eyes locked on his fiance's as his practiced fingers squeezed around the erection dribbling with pre. There's only a moment of intense staring on Keith's end, for Shiro to relent, with a wide smile. "Okay. Don't bite my head off."

His hand went back to going  _ faster. _ Faster than whatever had been determined as "fast" moments before.

"You're horrible. Simply— ngh—  _ awful _ —" Keith moaned, head rolling back as he gripped the covers underneath him, biting his lip again as he shuddered. He loved the way Shiro  _ knew _ how to touch him, body tense as he craved that release that only Shiro knew how to give.

"I'm close,  _ fuck _ —"

All of a sudden, Shiro's human hand was no longer on him. Instead, Shiro was moving away, with a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. He didn't give any word on what it was that he was doing, but at least he was taking the suit off… very slowly… and Keith's hands had been forced together into the grip of the slightly larger Altean arm, above Keith's head. Shiro clearly was doing this on purpose.

"I really am, aren't I? Just horrible.  _ Awful." _ He stepped out of the outfit and knelt onto the bed afterwards, crawling up it to be face to face with Keith. He sat on his legs and reached forward, cupping Keith's scarred cheek tenderly in his hand. "I know you don't really mean that."

Keith shivered at the lack of touch, feeling his release edge away with a whimper, legs pressing together as he twisted underneath of Shiro. When Shiro's hand touched his face, he relaxed, eyes closing once his fingers slid gently over the scar.

When his eyes opened, he gave Shiro such a raw look, love and trust splayed in his eyes as he sagged underneath of the other. He bit his lip, his voice wavering as he leaned into the touch. "... I love you, Shiro."

“You do?” He smiled, as if he didn’t know that. His thumb brushed over the scar with such care, once, twice, and three times. He did so with the memory of knowing what the Shiro of this reality had done to him— knowing Keith never got closure for it. He’s pretty sure if the conversation that happened had went awry, that the fight... hadn’t been mentioned. 

Shiro leaned down into his space, and with shimmering eyes teeming with adoration and love, he whispered back. “I love you, too, Keith. I really do.” With this said, he leaned in to kiss Keith. Not hard and sloppy, but with tenderness, and a passion that Keith got to experience quite a few times over the course of just this one week alone.

"I don't regret it," Keith said softly, breathing into the kiss as he arched against the Altean hand, swallowing. "The scar, I mean. I—" He lost his train of thought as the kiss grew more tender, closing his eyes as he lost himself in the kiss, loving every moment with Shiro that he could get.

"Shiro—" He breathed, and then louder, " _ Shiro _ —"

“Yes, Keith,” Shiro sighed out, answering him in the same breathless familiarity that Keith had known so well. His breath wafted against Keith’s lips before the Altean hand let go, and Shiro forgot whatever plan he’d had going on in his head.

With Keith, he could never plan ahead. The other had been a flaming unidentifiable object at one point in time, crashing into his world like a bat out of hell. He brought destruction with him, a darkness with him, within which Shiro bathed in. Scarily enough, he’d worshipped it, even. 

Getting through that surface of flames and rough edges had been more than the work any average joe would’ve put into some kid like Keith. But with every passing day, he was overjoyed that he’d given the boy he saw himself in, a chance. That he grew, and matured, and became the Keith he knew and loved today. 

Whilst not the exact same man, they were similar in more ways than one. And even if this was not the Keith he had fallen head over heels for, he was still so soft, and he had still become such a compassionate man. Said man was beneath him,  _ waiting _ for him, he realizes— coming back to his senses, after getting lost in those lavender eyes.

“What do you want me to do, baby?”

Keith threw his arms around Shiro, clinging to him as he shook, unable to take that gaze for the moment. Shiro had always been a distant star, someone people strived to be, someone patient and understanding that Keith himself had grown to love.

Patience yielded focus. Those three words had resonated within him for so many years, through so many  _ galaxies _ that staring into Shiro's eyes now — despite everything they'd been through — still sent him reeling head over heels in love with the man all over again.

Very rarely did Shiro ever lose his temper, and being by Shiro's side left Keith resolving to be more leaderlike — more like  _ him _ . And when Shiro disappeared... Keith was left feeling like someone had taken his heart, his very soul and crushed it, leaving his world dark.

It was even worse when the Shiro from his world pulled away.

"You're too much," Keith gasped, nails digging into the other's shoulders. "You're so bright. I can't... even compare." He was so glad he had  _ this _ Shiro. He'd begun to lose himself, and stop being  _ Keith _ without the Shiro he so desperately needed.  "Please... don't leave me again. I... I couldn't take it—"

“I don’t plan to.” Shiro promised, and his face when he did so proves more than just how much he’d meant that. There was a seriousness there that was different than the serious attitude he’d held in battle. There was a hint of determined love somewhere in there. Or maybe it was right at the forefront.

Whichever it was, Shiro found himself unable to stare at Keith, without feeling his throat growing tight with unspoken emotion. He inhaled deeply and remained calm, finding a smile to share with Keith so that he could duck his head down. He kissed him once again, so softly, it almost felt like it hadn’t happened. 

“I will never leave you alone again, Keith. I keep my promises, and this is one of them. I want to be with you  _ forever. _ I’m not truly alive unless I’ve got you by my side.”

Keith moved to press his face into Shiro's neck, taking a few gulping breaths before he calmed himself down, feeling overwhelmed. He smiled as he turned his head to the side, a laugh escaping as he pressed his legs together, still hard.

"I love everything you do to me, Shiro. I—" Keith stopped, suddenly realizing through the emotional short talk they'd had, of what Shiro had done. His head snapped back as he half glared, his smile ruining how angry he was trying to look, and it was clear that he was still turned on by the entirety of the situation.

"You  _ edged _ me, you fuck—"

Shiro burst out laughing at that, a short snort making it through— but he didn’t budge from his spot, only pressing his face into Keith’s neck as he shook with amusement. 

“Yes, and?” He finally managed as he leaned his head back. “It got you good, didn’t it?”

His hands start to trail down Keith’s body again, exploring it as much as he could, in this instance. “You not-so-secretly loved it.”

"That's—" Keith groaned, arching into Shiro as he complained. "That's not the  _ point _ —"

“Then what is?” He inquired, his Altean hand smoothing over Keith’s chest as the other grasped Keith once more.

Maybe he still wanted to be a teasing little shit for a  _ moment _ longer.

Keith wasn't complaining —  _ much _ . He was flattened against the bed, staring up at Shiro with wide eyes, breaths coming much quicker. Words were dead on his tongue for the moment, but he quickly realized that  _ two _ could play at this game. And what better to beat Shiro than at his own?

In silence, he raised his arms over his head for the Altean arm to grab, and gave the other a very pointed look. Shiro raised a brow when he sees the way Keith puts his arms over his head. He’d seen this once before— in the past. Keith usually was never submissive, never just _let_ Shiro do what he wanted, only on days where he wanted to just be taken care of.

But that’s not today, and Shiro knows that, which is why there was a brighter smile spreading over his features. He knows exactly what that look means. 

_ Bring it on. _

So he starts off with the basic thing he had been for a few minutes now. But considering Keith was trying to be quiet, that wasn’t going to really work. So Shiro, being ever the genius that he is, decides to trail kiss upon kiss down Keith’s body, until he reaches his stomach. 

Only when he’s satisfied with the number of kisses he’d given, his human hand lifted Keith’s dick to his mouth. His mouth enveloped the head instantly, but his tongue ended up doing most of the work.

Keith's mouth opened as he was about to relent with a swear word, but stopped himself just in time as he watched Shiro, biting his lip as a small sound  _ did _ escape. No words though, just sound, which wasn't  _ quite _ what Shiro was looking for.

But it was a start.

After a few moments of Shiro working the shaft, Keith slumped and his hips jolted up a few times, just by instinct alone. "Shiro," he said with a whisper of a breath, his swallows sounding like drums in his ears. He was close again, toes curling as his head rolled to the side, inhaling as he tensed for release, knowing in the back of his mind that it wasn't going to happen.

“You know that’s not what you need to do to get what you want,” Shiro said, mouth popping off the dick before him, with only a string of saliva keeping him connected to it. The lick of his lips breaks it. “You’re going to have to be a bit  _ louder _ than that.”

He moved to lean up again, as Keith had predicted, he did not get his climax yet. Keith knew that at this rate, if he’s  _ not _ a little louder, they’re going to be here for a long time. And it’s going to be  _ agonizing. _

Shiro stopped right above Keith, looking down at him, the smile on his face too soft for what he was doing to him. “So, are you going to be loud? Or am I going to have to continue?”

Shuddering at the lack of release a second time, Keith grunted as he shifted his hips, letting out a soft sigh. "Bring it, old timer." Keith challenged, eyes glinting as he  _ smiled _ .

“Still with that, huh?” Shiro huffed out, unable to hide his amusement with it. “I’m not that much older than you.”

He moved off of Keith entirely once more, stepping over to the bag that Keith had brought in with them. He opens it up, and fished inside for the condoms and lube he  _ knew  _ Keith brought in with him. Once they’re located, he settled back down onto the bed with Keith, Altean hand still grasping Keith’s wrists as he sinks back into his spot. He rolled the condom onto himself, his own hard on pretty unbearable, but he could last through this.

Keith, he knows, will be a little too impatient.

He spread lube over his fingers, and took the Altean hand away from Keith’s arms. He got the substance smoothed onto two of his mechanical fingers, the size of both easily being what the width of his own cock would be, and switches which hand was holding Keith’s arms up and away. 

“If you’re good for me, I  _ might _ let you come. But know that if you  _ do _ come before I think you’ve earned it... There  _ will _ be consequences.”

"No, you’re not," Keith agreed, smiling as he shivered, listening to the rest of what Shiro said. "... oh. Is that a promise?" He arched against Shiro as he licked his lips. "Maybe I'm into that. Punish me, baby." Keith was.... laughably trying now, and it was apparent now, with everything that he said he was trying not to break off into laughter. His eyes were bright with amusement, and he shifted his gaze to Shiro's Altean hand.

Shiro inhaled a steadying breath as he heard the usage of the word “baby”, again. At this point, it felt unfair, but he also didn’t want Keith to stop. So his reaction is to hum approvingly, and insert those Altean fingers into Keith’s greedy hole. 

“Punish you? Are you sure you want me to do that? You could go days, even  _ weeks, _ without coming  _ once. _ I’d just tease you endlessly.”

At  _ that _ comment, Keith shut up, closing his eyes and arching against Shiro with a soft moan. He took his time to learn to  _ breathe _ again, lifting a leg and stretching it out to rest his ankle on Shiro's shoulder, effectively giving Shiro more to work with.

"I love you, Takashi." Keith finally said, eyes bright as he gave a cheeky smile.

Shiro was grateful for the ample room to move now, leaning forward to stretch Keith’s leg a little more, and pressing his fingers into Keith further. This particular angle had Shiro smiling wider, just because he  _ loved _ the way Keith’s eyes gazed into his own. “I love you too, Keith. You know that,” he answered, as if it were as easy as answering his favorite food.

Smiling brighter in response to Shiro's wide smile, Keith pressed his lips together and focused on not making a sound, body curving as Shiro sunk his fingers deeper. He watched with an intense gaze, curious how far Shiro was going to try to make him  _ scream _ .

"How... ngh—" Keith tried to think, his thoughts scattered. "What's your... favorite thing... about me?"

“That’s a tough one. I can’t just decide on one...” Shiro whispered, his fingers pumping in and out of him, and his eyes focused intensely on the appearance of Keith’s body in this particular instance. “But, I do love the way your nose scrunches up, when you find something particularly funny. That little snort you do, when you try not to laugh outright. And then, your laugh— your  _ real _ laugh, is probably one of my favorite things. My cop out answer would be your eyes, or your hair. There’s far too many things to list...”

"My eyes?" Keith blinked, arching as Shiro's fingers hit his g-spot, and he let out a soft cry in response. "Hh— ah!!"

Shiro chuckled, happy to hear his actions were being received well by Keith. "Yes. Your eyes. They're  _ gorgeous." _ He murmured, as his fingers continued. He knew Keith couldn’t be quiet for long— he just  _ knew _ that he couldn’t. He intended to make Keith loud, so when his hand lets go of Keith's wrists, he bent his head down to his crotch and began to suck him off—  _ slowly. _

" _ Shiro— _ " Keith  _ moaned _ , his hands instantly moving to cover his mouth as he stifled himself, eyes fluttering shut before he sunk down against the pillows.

He was so close, and trying  _ not _ to cry out.

Shiro’s eyes darted up to Keith’s hands, his eyebrows creasing inwards, as he stared at them. He kept up what he was doing for a moment longer, letting Keith get just to the edge once again, before he pulled completely away from him.

He didn’t say anything to him, pupils glancing over the steady rise and fall of Keith’s chest, smiling to himself when he knows that this would be the last straw for Keith. Especially because now, Shiro moves his head down, and simply begins to press light kisses everywhere. They wouldn’t be enough.

Tears streamed down Keith's face as he felt the release chase away, a sob wrenching out from his throat as he clutched his chest. This was only enjoyable for so long, but now he was getting upset. "Shiro  _ please _ , I can't take any more—"

Shiro didn’t expect to make Keith cry, so he quickly backpedaled from anything else he could’ve just said, and jerked forward to kiss Keith’s cheeks “It’s okay, it’s okay,” He cooed softly, before kissing him rather lovingly. “I’ll take care of you, Keith. I promise.”

He didn’t waste a moment longer in gathering some lubricant on his fingers, and sliding it over the condom he’d put on earlier. Once he’d done that, he lined himself up with Keith’s entrance, and sunk himself in with a low drawn out moan.

Keith sobbed as he clung to Shiro, half moaning and half sniffling as he shook, pressing a palm against his eye. In truth, he  _ needed _ this kind of release. He had holed up his anger for so long that he let it all out now, arching against Shiro as he gripped the sheets underneath of him.

"Shi—ro....  _ Shiro _ —"

Oh yeah. He was getting loud.

_ "Keith," _ He breathed out in response, as if his name was part of a prayer he's delivered a million times over. Perhaps it had been. "You're so good— So good..."

The snap of Shiro's hips became a rhythm Keith had begun to attune himself to easily, over the past week or so. Shiro's size was still something he'd yet gotten warmed up to, and in kind, Shiro had yet to get used to Keith's tightness once again. Shiro couldn’t remember how long he'd been mourning the loss of the beautiful voice he'd never hear again, but hearing him now, moaning his name? That's all he wanted to hear.

"Please, sweetheart,  _ louder. _ I wanna hear you shout my name..."

" _ Shiro _ ," Keith crowed, panting as tears continued to run down his face, biting his fisted fingers as he sobbed again. "Shiro please don't stop, please Shiro,  _ please _ —" His face was torn, expression begging to be absolutely  _ wrecked _ . It seemed that Keith couldn't hold it together, his tone getting louder with each thrust that Shiro gave, until his name was a song on Keith's lips.

" _ SHIRO _ —"

Quite frankly, that was his favorite song.  Shiro could listen to Keith sing his name to the high heavens for hours on end, and never tire of it. As it was, it didn't happen often, that Keith  _ really _ got like this. So Shiro was drinking up every call of his name tearing out of the other's throat.

"That's it. God, that's it... you're beautiful." He whispered huskily, and even though there could be a litany of compliments for Keith, Shiro decided that even the most simplest of ones could suffice for now. With Keith's mantra of his name, Shiro rewarded him with a pace and roughness both of them had been craving. "I love you. I love you, Keith, I love you  _ so much—" _

Keith came with a cry, arching against the bed as he was lathered with sweat and tears, his release almost euphoric. He'd been denied so many times that when he came, he was all out sobbing, heaving breaths as he clung to the pillow, letting out all of the emotions that he'd pent up for years on end. He reached out and grasped Shiro's hand, pulling it close to him to press his face against as he tried to quell his sobs. "Shiro. I—  _ love _ you—"

Shiro was spent almost immediately afterwards, a moan of Keith's name stuttering out past his lips, as his hips slow to ride out his end. He hadn't realized he'd closed his eyes, but he did when they opened, and saw Keith openly crying. He moved his hand to actually cup Keith's face, and did the same with the other one as he leaned down and in. The tips of their noses bumped together as they share the same hot breathing space, neither one caring about the sweat that rolled down their bodies.

"I know, I know, love. You're  _ okay. _ I love you, too. Never gonna leave you." He mumbled as his lips pressed to Keith's, and he ran a hand through the bangs on Keith's face. He pushed them back, off of his sweaty forehead, keeping the kiss teetering on the edge of deep, but not too much so. It was  _ just _ enough.

"I needed that," Keith lamented as he heaved another heavy sigh, leaning into Shiro, body aching from how deep Shiro went. He was still shaking, his lips trembling as he stared at his fiancé with bright eyes, curling into his embrace with ease as he clung to the other. "I needed that, but... please never do that again."

"Noted." Shiro huffed out, a brief guilt splaying over his features as he looked down to Keith.It washed away after a moment, and his lips were kissing Keith's damp cheeks, trying to ease away the tears. "That was mainly a test... But I'm glad it got you to be so loud."

"I can be loud, but that was cruel." Breathing in, Keith pressed his face into Shiro's chest, heaving a sigh. Despite everything, he'd enjoyed it. He just... didn't want a repeat.

Shiro nodded in response, resting his hard jaw against Keith’s head as his eyelids fluttered shut. “I’m sorry, we don’t have to do that again, or anything of the sort. But I’m glad that it had been something you needed. I think a part of me needed to do that, too.” His hand came up to cup around the back of Keith’s skull, a rough hand pulling Keith closer as the two of them relaxed in one another’s presence.

Letting out a soft groan, Keith shifted to straddle Shiro with a soft huff as he misinterpreted the touch, nuzzling Keith’s hand as his eyes lit up. " _ Again? _ "

“What—“ Shiro watched Keith, surprise being thrown on his face, unable to really  _ stop _ the other in his moment of being stunned. He blushed very brightly, and began to sputter alongside trying to correctly speak. “K-Keith,” He stuttered with a laugh. “I don’t have that much stamina in me. I just wanted to hold you.”

Keith stopped, tilting his head to stare down at Shiro as a slow smile crossed his face. "... you stuttered my name." He rolled his hips, grinding against Shiro in hopes to get him to do it again.

“Yes—  _ Keith.” _ He warned, but there couldn’t be any heat behind it, when Shiro groaned. There was a small intake of air on Shiro’s end, his heart beginning to pick up it’s fast thrum from before, and his eyebrows pinching together. Instinctively, his hands held Keith’s waist, and his fingers dug in. “You’re... too much.”

"Am I?" Keith smiled as he reached back and grasped Shiro's member again, gripping it and pulling the condom off. He moved off to grab a new one, tilting his hips as he walked to give Shiro a nice view of his rear as he sashayed. Even if the trip to get a new one wasn’t very far at all, Shiro’s eyes still lingered on the other, and his gaze only grew hungrier with every small sway of his ass. 

So maybe he’d lied a little about not having that much stamina. He’s suddenly very inspired.

“You can be.” Shiro breathed out now, stretching an arm up and behind his head, as Keith rather enticingly strides back to him. “But that’s not bad. Not  _ always.” _ He teased, the tip of his tongue poking out past his lips.

Keith took a step back from the bed, crossing his arms. "Maybe I'll just stay over  _ here _ , then." He held the condom in between his fingers, looking very much like a pleased kitten getting its way. He liked playing hard to get, sometimes.

“Aww... Don’t be like  _ that. _ The bed’s getting cold without you.” Shiro pouted, his posture deflating as he stared sideways at Keith. The Altean arm floats over to Keith, and Shiro makes use of it to run his hand down the majority Keith’s upper half, more specifically down his chest and over to one of Keith’s sides. “Pleaaase?”

"That's cheating." Keith moved his hands to grab the arm, shifting it to hold in front of him. He then bent the fingers so that all that was left was the middle finger pointed right at Shiro.

Shiro snorted, happily laughing despite receiving the middle finger. His left hand flies to his chest, and he rolls back onto his back, with a bright smile.

“And  _ that’s _ rude,” He forced out, through the chuckles. “What a way to tell me to go fuck myself.”

"I mean, if you  _ want _ to fuck yourself... I'll watch." Keith let go of Shiro's hand... and smiled brightly.

“That is nowhere near as fun as what we  _ could _ be doing. But honestly, the only self care I’d be giving myself in this particular case, is trying to sleep.” Shiro laughed softly, eyes closing, but an arm was outstretched to Keith to invite him back in. Keith finally relented with a soft huff and roll of his eyes, moving back over to Shiro and straddling him once again.

"... do you want to go once more, old timer?"

The Altean hand floated back over at the same time Keith returned, resting back at Shiro’s side as his pupils remained glued on Keith. His flesh hand reached out to rub the pads of his fingers up and down Keith’s side  _ slowly, _ seeming to just admire Keith for a moment before he answered with a smile. “With you? I’d be up for something more. You sure you wanna go again?”

Reveling in the touch, Keith stared at him for a long moment before he slowly nodded, then leaned forward. Without a word, he just buried his face into Shiro's chest, right in between his pecs.

Yep. Definitely the perfect spot.

“Pfft—“ Shiro quickly ended up snorting, though does his best to quell his laughter as he looked down to Keith. His lips were quivering with absolute mirth.

“That’s not what I expected you to do, but enjoy your time there.”

"Shir _ ooooo _ ." Keith groaned, settling down and stretching out, lifting his hands to squeeze Shiro's pecs together against his face.

If he suffocated, that was okay. This was truly the best way to die.

_ ”Keith,” _ Shiro finally laughed out loud now, jostling Keith’s head just a little. Shiro’s hands traveled to Keith’s back, Altean hand resting at his midsection, and the other moving up to lightly pull slightly at Keith’s braid. “Can you try not to suffocate yourself right now? I’d prefer my pecs not being the cause of my fiancé’s death.”

Keith's head rose just slightly as he stared at Shiro, cheeks flaring a vibrant red.  _ Fiancé _ . That word got to him  _ every time _ . "Shiro." He let out a soft breath. "Just let me have this."

“Okay,” He huffs out, his own cheeks flushing over, at Keith’s reaction. “Just remember to breathe?” Shiro didn’t think that was something he’d have to say to Keith, but in this instance, it was needed.

"No. I'm gonna  _ enjoy _ this." Keith let his head flop back down before he gripped Shiro's hips and grazed his teeth against one of Shiro's pecs.

Shiro shook his head in dismay, forcing a quiet chuckle before the smallest hum is let out. Keith was far too amusing... and far too amazing. He really made Shiro feel  _ good. _ He bit down on his lower lip, his hand running idly over Keith’s braid as the cool metal of his other one brushed up and down Keith’s spine.

Breathing in, Keith stretched out and relaxed as he tilted his head to the side, laying down on top of Shiro. He  _ did _ want another round, but Shiro was right — he honestly wanted comfort right now. They both needed to rest after that bout of intense edging and fucking, and Keith knew he needed time to recuperate after dealing with an intense sludge of pent up emotions. That same cold hand warmed up against Keith’s back, still trailing a line along his spine up to his shoulder blades, and back down in a linear motion. It stopped when the line outlining his spine ended, before repeating the simple motion. 

“I love you, Keith. Maybe we can do more tomorrow, after we’ve slept. You look like you could use it.” He murmured, his eyes watching his lover as his flesh hand tickles over the ear he could see.

"I don't want to lose this," he said softly, frowning. "We just got here. We just got  _ this _ ."

"You're not going to," Shiro assured him, still being repetitive with his soothing actions. "We have all the time we want, Keith. I promised you I wasn't going to go anywhere. We have time to do what we want, and when." He stops, then, his left hand lifting and gently turning Keith's head to look at him. "Okay? It's you and I, and it'll stay that way for as long as we want it to. I'll be right next to you when the morning comes, like I have been."

"I'm scared it's a dream. I'm scared that this will all be gone when I wake up." Keith was trembling now, gripping Shiro's pecs as he buried his face again, voice becoming muffled. "Jus' lemme die happy."

"Sorry, I can't let you," Shiro whispered softly, kissing the top of his head. "I already let you, once before. I'm keeping you  _ close _ this time, and making sure you're happy. We'll make this better than a dream."

Keith stilled at that, going lax at Shiro's kiss.

"... I'm sorry." He felt guilty, even though he himself hadn't made the decision. It was still a version of himself.

“Don’t be,” Shiro says, immediately reassuring Keith that he  _ doesn’t _ need to feel guilty. At all. “It’s what he’d wanted. I couldn’t have controlled that. I just... Never want to lose you again. So, I’m not going anywhere, as long as you want me here.”

"... still. Can I make it up to you?" Keith asked, smiling as he pressed both hands to Shiro's chest and pushed himself up, then gave his pecs a very firm squeeze.

Oh. That was  _ nice _ .

Shiro momentarily lost the ability to speak at the soft palms on his chest,  _ squeezing it, _ no less. He soon after regained it, once his thought process finally caught up to him. “I— Sure, but, “make it up to you”...? What do you have to make up to me?”

"... for what he did." Keith breathed in, shifting his gaze to stare at Shiro as he kept squeezing his pecs. Yeah... that was going to be a thing now.

“You don’t have to make anything up to me, you know.” Shiro tells him, with eyes flickering down to his chest, and the way Keith’s hands squeezed his tits. Then, he looked back up. That might not stop, but he’s fine with it. “It just... happened. You don’t have to do anything as a means for making up for any of his decisions. You are your own person. Okay?”

Keith almost seemed like a  _ cat _ with the way he was kneading at Shiro's pecs — he just didn't realize it at the moment. He was totally making biscuits. "Still. It's a version of me, right? And I probably..." He paused, breathing in and looking away. "No. I  _ would _ have made the same decision, if it came down to it. I just... hadn't thought of it at the time."

Shiro knows Keith would have. Considering who Keith was? Yeah, if he knew of alternate realities back then, he would’ve guessed  _ every _ Keith had done that, if that decision had been presented to them. 

He was just heartbroken to find out his was the only one. 

“... Yeah, I was surprised about that. But I guess it’s a different reality for a reason, huh?” Shiro’s hand lifted up, and fixed a loose strand that was coming free from the braid, which had become frazzled and worn out from the day.

Pressing his cheek into Shiro's hand lovingly, Keith let out a soft sound and dropped lightly onto Shiro's chest, a soft  _ whoomph _ exhaled. He took the moment to stretch out again, nuzzling against the other's warm chest, closing his eyes.

"... Shiro?" He finally asked after a beat of silence, momentarily reveling in the feel of Shiro's fingers in his hair. "What made you choose me? What made you choose  _ this _ reality?"

"I thought I already told you and Krolia earlier." Shiro said with the tiniest of laughs. He could feel the weight of Keith's words, the need to be reassured laced within them, even if he doesn't say so out loud. Shiro just knew. "I chose you, and this reality, because I... well, it might seem selfish now that I say it out loud again, but I couldn't stand seeing you... upset. Well— alright, you weren't outright  _ upset, _ but you weren't happy, either. You had that smile on, the one that doesn't catch your eyes, and I  _ know _ that means you're just "content". I wanted to be here to make you more than that." Shiro bit his lip, and glanced away. "Does that sound bad?"

"No, I just..." Keith swallowed as he slouched, clinging to Shiro. "I just wanted to hear it again." He paused as he glanced to the other, eyes narrowing. "... am I really that easy to read?"

"For me? Absolutely." Shiro nodded, no doubt in his voice as he continued. "I can practically tell what all the different looks on your face might mean, when I see it. And seeing that... it had hurt. I didn't get why you would look so content, but not, at the same time. I guess you were only content because it's what you had, and you felt that was fine enough. Right?"

"... it's what got me through most days," Keith admitted, slouching against Shiro. "I did what I could with what I had. Or, rather...  _ didn't _ have. I had to just… move forward. There was no other choice."

“Yeah, I could tell that much.” Shiro whispered in a low tone, clearly unhappy just by remembering it. He was trying so hard not to put so much blame on his alternate self, but, god. This was one huge mess of emotions that could’ve been easily avoided... had he not been a wimp.

There was a drawn out yawn from Shiro as he shifted in his spot, underneath the weight of Keith on his chest. His arm moves over him comfortably, and soft fingers trailed over the smooth skin of Keith’s back. He couldn’t help himself from touching Keith every chance he got, always fascinated with whatever he could put his fingers on. Keith was an enigma wrapped in layers, and Shiro fell in love all over again every moment he realized it.

“But, ‘s okay. All of that is behind us now... and now? We can move forward. Do you want to move forward with me?”

"Do you really want me, Shiro? This is amazing and all, but..." Keith bit his lip as he thought, having trouble voicing what he wanted to say. He didn't want Shiro to just 'settle' for him, or just do whatever  _ he _ wanted. He wanted to work  _ with _ Shiro, in a viable relationship... even if he was told 'no' sometimes. Keith wanted all of that, and more. He wanted the rest of his  _ life _ with Shiro. It was everything he felt... that he couldn't fathom the words for, words that he had trouble expressing like other people normally did. He was blunt, and often times he didn’t understand jokes.

But with Shiro, everything just felt right.

“Would I have asked you to marry me if I didn’t want you?” Shiro asked, expression softening as his Altean hand reaches up and tucks some loose strands from the messed up braid out of the way. “I’d tell you that everyday, if you needed me to. If you needed the reassurance.”

Shiro allowed both of his hands to sit at Keith’s lower back, eyes visibly warm, even in the dark. The glow of his prosthetic gave off enough of a light source for his expressions to be seen. “I want you, Keith.  _ You _ are so bright, and beautiful. As long as you want me, I want  _ you. _ Through all the good times, and the bad, I want you there. Right by my side, as my husband.” Shiro blushed, a shy smile dawning over his features.

He was honestly really cute, sometimes.

Keith leaned into the Altean hand, cheek pressing against that familiar metal, before it drew away to rest at his hips.Shiro blushing was the best sight  _ ever _ , and Keith couldn't help but move forward to kiss him, shaking from excitement and terror. " _ Yes _ , Shiro. A thousand times,  _ yes _ . I'll say yes as many times as it takes. Through the good and the bad, we'll face it together. We have before." Finding Shiro's human hand, he squeezed it, eyes soft as he stared at the other.

"I love you, Shiro." He’d say it as many times as he could.

Shiro, while he hadn’t been expecting the kiss, gladly reciprocated it. His hands traveled up, arm curling around Keith’s own, as both hands pressed against Keith’s back. Effectively, this just pressed him down against him too, and Shiro might have purposely done that just to  _ feel _ him.

Shiro’s eyes were glossy, when Keith finally answered. “I love you too, Keith. I love you  _ so much. _ I don’t want you to ever doubt the love I have for you. I’ve got your back, and you’ve got mine, as always. And I...” Shiro laughed, letting Keith take his hand, to do whatever he pleases with it. “I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.”

Smiling at the words, Keith leaned down to kiss him again, blinking back tears as he lost himself in those words. It meant a great deal, hearing that from Shiro.

"You can be my starlight, and I'll be your sunshine. I'd travel the galaxy for you, and beyond..." He couldn't keep himself from touching Shiro anymore, finding himself attracted and turned on due to Shiro's actions once again, a needy groan rising from his throat.

Neither of them got very much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quite honestly the image of keith 'making biscuits' on shiro's pecs makes me giddy and gleeful in the most hilarious way. he's a cat, so of course he's going to do that. :>
> 
> so sorry for the late update you guys! life has been super hectic and i lost track of time, and motivation for the most part. i just ended my very first ks for enamel pins, so that took up a super good majority of my time! i don't think i can talk about it here, but it's pinned on my twitter at [fethaire](http://twitter.com/fethaire). please go take a look if you're at all interested!
> 
> also, i got approved as a vendor for voltcon! i'm very happy about this and have a LOT to do to prep for it. i will try to update this fic in the meantime! i hope you enjoyed this one, next one is definitely going to be a doozy. it's done, just needs to be edited. :> thank you all!
> 
> p.s. it amuses me that no one has figured out my chapter titles yet ᵒᴥᵒ


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